2007 - A year of big changes

Wow! Where did 2007 go? This year flew by in a whirlwind of big changes for me. My family experience graduations, new arrivals, and early exits.

I started off the year with my annual Market America business trip to Miami. Miami in February is always nice and this past year was no exception. The sun was shining and the trip was very educational. At the end of March, I was able to attend our regional convention in Portland, Oregon. The highlight of this trip for me was my visit with my Uncle Don and Aunt Cindy in Vancouver. I don’t get to see them very often and I was able to combine this business trip with some special family time. It was such a treat for Mom and me!

In late February/early March, my life began a series of big changes. My job was in a state of flux and had been for several months. I had been promoted to Sales Manager in March of 2006 and had two different sales reps work for me- neither of which ended up being a good fit for the company. In March, I was told by the Operations Manager that my compensation package was changing (again) and given a new contract to review and sign prior to the annual stockholder’s meeting. I prayed about what to do. I liked the company. I liked my job, but I felt like I was not growing anymore the way I needed to and I was not happy overall.

In April of 2007, I left the company after 4 years and started working for an Alzheimer’s only care facility. I decided I wanted to work there full time being a care-giver. After being trained, I worked 32 hours per week on the 3-11pm shift. I really liked the work and became very attached to the residents. Unfortunately, my knees did not like the demands of the 8-straight hours of physical labor. I cut back to part-time and worked 4-hour shifts on the weekends all summer and intermittently throughout the fall. They have changed the schedule now so there are no more 4-hour shifts and unfortunately, my orthopedic doctor does not recommend I continue this type of work with the condition of my knees.

I am working with management to find some type of work and schedule that works for both of us so I can still help out. This work is very rewarding and the families really appreciate the caregivers. These residents really need people who truly love and care about them. It is like having 12 grandparents that I don’t want to give up caring for. This job has changed me and I now know that I need this in my life. I never knew what I was willing or able to do until I worked at this facility. The Lord truly challenges us so we can learn more about ourselves every day! It is truly amazing.

In May, I interviewed with a well-established computer consulting company in Montana. The president of the company interviewed me one day and offered me the job the same week. I have been with them since the end of May as an account manager. This week, I was promoted to the Branch Manager of the Bozeman office. I cannot express to you how exciting this is or how much this means to me. I have been wanting to manage an office for years and they feel I have the skills to manage and grow the Bozeman branch. It will be a challenge, but I have two great men to work with me (my technicians) and the management staff who support us are really committed to our success. I am looking forward to what lies ahead in 2008.

Shortly after I took this new job, I received some shocking news. One of my dearest friend's husbands (a friend of mine, too) had been tragically killed in a motorcycle accident. I was a bridesmaid in their wedding. I was there the day they met. I could not believe it! I was devastated. He was taken from us all too soon. I have been supporting my friend these past six months. I have been working through my own grief also. We talk about him often, because she needs to and because we need to. He was the love of her life. I don't think you ever "get over" the loss of someone like this. I don't know, but I do know that it changes you.

In June, I decided to take matters into my own hands and I hired a personal trainer. Shauna has been an amazing support to me and taught me to be accountable and helped me become so much healthier, despite on-going health issues. I have learned to make exercise a part of my life and daily schedule, just like any meeting and put myself and my health first and I am reaping the benefits of my persistence and new habits. I feel so much better. I highly recommend using a personal trainer. This approach has really changed my attitude and my level of motivation, especially when I am being challenged by a flare-up or my body is retaliating. Shauna is my cheerleader and coach in the gym. I let the Lord take care of the rest.

I still have some serious issues with my knees, but I have had problems for years and I have learned to work within my limitations to be as healthy as I can be. My migraines are less and I am pushing myself to become consistent with the exercise that best suits my body. I know that I am not the one in control- the Lord is and He will not give me more that I can handle.

For Labor Day this year, I had some friends come up from Texas for a fun-filled weekend of adventures. I hiked for the first time since my two knee surgeries- YAY! We spent a day at our friend, Mike’s place, and played horseshoes, ate BBQ’d food off the grill and just relaxed. Mike owns a beautiful cabin on a few acres in the heart of the woods outside of Bozeman. His neighbor is a children’s author with an amazing home with spectacular views. Mike and Ben built horseshoe pits on top of the mountain in the forest between their two places. It was a great place to throw shoes. The highlight to that day, though, was Ben’s unique pet, a 650+ pound Minnesota black bear named Buffy. Ben has had Buffy since he was a cub. Ben was called and asked if he would take Buffy and raise him when he was little. Ben has an amazing home for Buffy and is the only “parent” Buffy has ever known. Ben would let Buffy out in the evenings to roam the mountain side like any other domesticated animal. Buffy is an old bear with a cataract and he is minus his front canines. He also has an affinity for animal crackers, which we all found out when we fed him. This bear was amazing! He played with Ben- put his head on Ben’s lap like he was a dog, even ate peanuts out of his hand. I have never seen such a sight! And we quietly watched in awe. I will never forget that day.

On Monday, we went up to Big Sky and rode the ski lift up the mountain. I don’t ski, so I wanted to see what it was like and take some pictures of the area from the top. It was a gorgeous day so the photos were awesome. Then, on the way back down the lift, I decided to take a photo of my friend and this crazy underwear tree near the lift and watched my purse go sliding off the ski lift and land on the ground below us. Fortunately, because we were near this icon, they knew where to look for my purse. We ended up having them send personnel on four wheelers to retrieve it. They said they had never had that happen before. Go figure.

In September, my Grandma and Uncle David made a stop in Montana on their trip to Washington for my uncle’s 60th Birthday. I treasure every minute I get to spend with family, but especially my Grandma because she has been my hero and mentor for years. She is wealth of knowledge and I love to listen to her share stories and tell jokes. My time with them was short, but so special!

I have been blessed this year with my personal successes and big changes and my family has had several also. Jeff took a new (awesome) job as a Vice President of Facilities for Four Winds Resort and moved his family to Michigan. This was a big move for Jeff, as he manages 250+ people. This resort truly values his expertise int the field and both Jeff and Mel love the new little town they live in. Karen sold the farm (literally) and moved her and Danny, who is now a senior in high school, in with her boyfriend, Tom and his family. Tom has kids that are close to Danny’s age also, so now they are one big, happy family. I am so happy for them. Becky, my niece, graduated valedictorian of her class and went off to college this fall. I am so proud! And, I can’t believe I have a niece in college! Sue, although retired from the military still contracts back to them but now gets to enjoy more time pursuing her prowess as an amateur caterer for friends’ parties and office gatherings. Dave was supposed to be deployed to Iraq, but luckily was not. We have been blessed by his reprieve. Steve had a big year. Steve officially adopted Connor in April. Steve and Angie were then blessed with the birth of Arilyn Olivia Clay on November 29th. She was 7lbs. and 19.5 inches. She is beautiful. Mom, Dad and the Macy dog are all still living in Helena. Mom and Dad are enjoying the birth of their latest grandchild (you know how Mom loves babies). Dad is still hunting and he now has the help of Macy. Macy has Mom and Dad trained just the way she likes them.

In October, we as a family, were rocked to the core with the tragic death of our cousins at a world wide horse show in Madison, Wisconsin. A faulty heater malfunctioned in the middle of the night and put out too much carbon monoxide. It was so sad. This was my father's cousin, his wife and their two granddaughters. Devere was a renowned horseman in the world of Clydesdale breeders. Such an unnecessary loss.

On a good note, November was filled with a nice Thanksgiving with family, the birth of my niece and some time off from work. And then December. We were joined by some friends from Texas again, had some good times and them Christmas was upon us. It was Arilyn's first Christmas. She did the same thing as the rest of us. Ate, slept etc.

Today is December 31. I feel like I have had an amazing 2007. There have been some sad times. There were some tough times, but this year has been a year of incredible growth and change for me. I am happier and healthier. 2008 here I come!

Christmas

Christmas was really nice this year. This is the first Christmas in a very long time that I can remember where I have not been sick or suffered from a migraine. I am not really sure why, but I can guess that it is because I am so much happier with my life these days and am healthier. The Lord has been good to me this past year!

Christmas eve I spent making the circuit. First I went over to my friend's parents house and then I went to my brother's. Both were nice. I attended church and sang with the choir at the candlelight service. After church, I went back to my friend's to play some game's. We had a blast. We laughed until I had tears running down my face.

On Christmas Day, Mom and Dad came down and we opened presents, relaxed and had Christmas dinner. Macy was all sorts of curious about Arilyn (my new baby niece.) Basically, she wanted to know who was getting all of her attention. I spent time running around chasing my nephew and shooting him with his new nerf tommy dart gun and then he proceeded to beat us all at the game of LIFE. He always wins! It was an awesome day. I had a wonderful holiday.

Dear Santa (revised)

Dear Santa,

All I want for Christmas is:

World Peace
A on-going RX of Percocet and valium
A new body
A man (preferably alive - baggage is negotiable)

Love,
Julie

Dear Santa

Dear Santa,

All I want for Christmas is:
World Peace
2 new knees
An arm that works
Laser eye surgery
60 pounds of fat loss
A man without baggage

Love,
Julie

Fruitcakelady

This lady really does take the cake. . .

Happy Holidays or Merry Christmas?

If I am not mistaken, the reason for the season is the birth of Jesus Christ, hence Christmas. For some reason, we have a faction of people in this country who are screaming loud enough now that they have pushed to make this just another "holiday". A what? I don't care if you are not Christian or don't believe in God, that is your business. Then don't celebrate Christmas, but do understand that the United States of America was founded upon RELIGIOUS principles. Yes, folks, that is right. Check the history books. So, if you don't like Christmas, fine, but 90% of the US population does, so deal with it because you are in the minority and you came to a country that was built upon a religious foundation. You can have your Holiday, too. What I have a problem with is dumbing down Christmas because a few people have screamed, "This religious holiday offends me." Then go back to where you came from because it has been this way in this country for over 200 years and the rest of us like our Christmas with Christ in it!

Quote for the Day

"Never apologize for showing feeling. When you do so, you apologize for truth."
– Benjamin Disraeli

Off the Grid

I have been out of town this past week working in Helena and had very limited access to email so I have not been posting. It was a great week! I enjoyed making some good contacts and meeting some new friends. Now I need to catch up on reading my personal email and read the news online. I have really been out of touch.

Strollin' Strollin' Strollin'

Last night was the annual Christmas Stroll in Bozeman so we bundled ourselves up in our cold weather gear and headed downtown for the festivities with the rest of Bozeman. It was a nice evening, but as predicted, COLD! It was only 10 degrees above zero and we were outside walking up and down 4 blocks voluntarily for 3 hours. I know, I think we are crazy, too.

I am a Rock Star!

Ok, so maybe not, but I learned to play Guitar Hero III this past week and it was so freakin' hysterical! My nine-year-old nephew was assisting me with the tutorials and he was obviously frustrated with my lack of ability to catch on as quickly as he did. I was challenged by the entire concept at first, but I gave it my all. I chose Poison's "Talk Dirty To Me" for my first rock anthem and I was determined to strum my way to victory. Unfortunately, I was having difficulty with the timing of the strumming and remembering where my fingers were placed and adding the whammy bar- ok one thing at a time- folks. I am a beginner. As I said, my nephew was impatient with me not being able to just play and do it all right away, like I should be a rock star without practice. Lucky for me, after I massacred my first song, I decided to turn the guitar back over to him so he could show me how it was done. After he played for me and showed me up, I decided I can do this. I was better than that crazy video game and I chose Kiss's, "I Wanna Rock and Roll All Night." I doubled my percentage! WHEWHOOO!!!! I am a rock star now! Ok. like I said, maybe not, but I can see how this game is addicting. BTW- This photo is from something else, but I could not resist!

HO HO HO

As I was driving to work this morning I heard a radio broadcast regarding Santa Claus and his use of "HO HO HO" and how it scares children. The only thing scary about "HO HO HO" is that we are so caught up in a machine that we are now going to pick at everything in society we can until there is no joy left. I can't tell you how idiotic this sounded when the broadcaster said it because it was beyond my ability to articulate, but I can tell you this. As intelligent people, we better start thinking about what we aren't doing and who is fueling these stupid studies and yelling enough to be heard by the general population. A study can be so easily misrepresented by the media and we typically just listen to what we hear on the radio or see on the news because no one refutes this crap. This "HO HO HO" scenario is just another example of some psychologist or sociologist trying to make a name for himself and using the mass media to prey upon a generation of people who are bullied by scare tactics.

The long awaited arrival

Welcome to the world, my dear child. You are precious and beautiful, innocent and new. With loving arms we hold you. Our eyes glisten with tears of joy and excitement. We are truly blessed by your arrival.

Baby, baby oh where is the Baby?

Well, still no baby yet. We are hoping any praying that little Miss Arilyn will join us sometime today. Labor is progressing slowly, but it is progressing. . .

She makes us wait

Well, my niece is already being stubborn by staying inside until she is darn good and ready to make her final exit. My poor sister-in-law started having contractions yesterday evening and is still having them. She is not in false labor, but she is progressing very slow. Miss Arilyn has decided to arrive on her schedule at her own pace regardless of how tired Mom and everyone else are now. We all had minimal sleep last night and Angie can't sleep while she is having contractions so she is really tired. Come on little girl- get a move on and come one out. We are waiting to greet you with open arms!

I don't understand

It is really late and I am really tired, but I still wanted to get something out for the day. I am having a difficult time understanding a few situations in my life right now. I am thoroughly confused. I continue to pray every night about them and hope that the Lord will guide me to an answer.

Monday, Monday Reflections

Here we are, the Monday after a big holiday weekend. It was a good weekend and I posted several times. I find myself now as we head into the last month of 2007 starting to reflect on the year and events past. This was a big year for me. I have made many changes in my life and I am moving in a different direction now. I made new friends, strengthened old friendships, and even had some people leave. But I am happier, healthier and stronger now. Life is good!

Perspectives and Perception

I think what makes us interesting and different people is that we all possess our own unique perspective on life. We see everything through our lens. At the same time, it is what can cause conflict among even good friends if we don't see situations the same or don't agree. I believe that many people possess the ability to be rational and reasonable about seeing other people's perspectives, but there are some who refuse to see both sides because they operate under the principle that everything is either black or white - period. Unfortunately, I see this number growing in this country today. These people are more difficult to debate points of politics, discuss different religions, or even seek advice from simply because of the fact that no middle ground exists for them in the way they view a situation.

I understand this person well, as I used to be like this. I really did not see any gray area in many things around me and to this day, I still don't when it comes to certain business situations or when it comes to morality. I do understand that my perspective is mine and may not be shared, though and that is something that I have learned to consider and really tried to incorporate in my life. For me, I have grown to the point in my life where being right isn't as important as understanding the situation and realizing the implications of all that is involved. Granted, it is important to understand that in the heat of the moment of any passionate discussion or debate, being full of clarity is not always a person's strongest characteristic, including my own, but I am someone who can and will concede to an opponent's better points in a discussion, or if needs be, apologize if a discussion rises to the level of an argument and it becomes necessary, due to my actions, extend an olive branch. I know that I have a tendency to overreact in some cases, especially those where my character is being personally attacked instead of the focus being on the situation. Human nature would dictate this to be true of a decent number of people. No one enjoys hearing about what is wrong with them versus what they are doing and that is a fine line that many of us walk during heated discussions. Keeping a discussion focused and not letting it become an all out assault on each other when emotions are involved is up to the individuals in the discussion. It takes people with strong character and good judgment to not derail a discussion. This is harder spoken than executed. I know that it is very difficult for me if someone says something to me and I hear it differently than they meant it, then the fine line he or she might have been walking will have been crossed whether they meant to or not. Intent and perception are two very different things. For me, crossing that line is not acceptable and depending on how far over they went or what was said, I will react and my perception of that situation will change.
Reacting is not the best way to handle anything. Of course, I know this; you know this; most people realize this in their minds. Realizing it and being able to stop it from happening when you are in the middle of a situation are not the same. Any time you are heavily emotionally involved in a situation, you are more likely to over-react and maybe unfavorably if your feelings have been hurt. I can't tell you how many times I have done this. I can tell you that now that I am older and wiser, I am getting better at not over-reacting, better, but still not perfect and unfortunately still doing it from time-to-time. That doesn't mean I am still not reacting. I know for me, this is going to be a life-long challenge to keep my emotions in check when I am discussing subjects that I am extensively emotionally invested in and have strong opinions about. I know that I am going to have to work at it all the time and count to ten more often.

I know who I am emotionally. My perspective is not easily changed and perception is very dangerous, especially if I don't read a situation correctly. It happens. And for me, I find it happens more frequently during electronic correspondence where there is no eye contact or chance to read body language and hear tone of voice. There is so much chance for misinterpretation in email, IM and text messaging. I know I have to be very careful and not try to assume anything. Again, another concept that is easier said than done. On the other hand, the more I am challenged with situations, the more I find myself knowing the work I need to do to continue to grow and to gain a greater, more universal perspective. It is a good thing to learn from past mistakes.

I know I may not always agree with people and they may not agree with me, but I hope that our opinions whether they are different or not, can be shared constructively and that we each can grow from our experiences when dealing with changing perception and gaining new perspectives.

Playing Catch up

After spending a day in what could be defined as a completely vegetative state, I now need to actually be productive for the weekend and get my house in order. I am enjoying my four day weekend very much. When I get real down time that is not because I have a migraine or am ill, I really like to just relax and sometimes to the extreme. LOL. But, I do have laundry to do, dishes to wash and bed linen to change. And I don't want to head into these next few weeks before the holidays with my house in disarray. So, that is my challenge today - motivation to get the needed chores done.

The Friday After

Today is the largest shopping day of the year (supposedly). I find it the perfect day to stay inside and recover from Turkeyfest 2007. I am have become less of a fan of shopping especially during the holidays when the stores are overcrowded and people seem to forget their manners. I find myself online shopping more and more and giving my favorite, the gift card -easy to purchase and leaving the gift choice to the recipient. YAY!.

So, today is a day for arm chair resting, feet up, hot baths and take out food delivered to my door - true indulgence. Hope yours is too.

Happy Thanksgiving!

On today, the day we set aside to give thanks, I would like to say thank you to all of our troops. These men and women are to be commended for the sacrifice they make every day so that we as Americans can enjoy our freedom.

Another note of thanks to our teachers, those who care-give, nurses, etc. Your job is more a giving of yourself and touches lives daily.

I want to say thank you for all of the blessings in my life - my incredible friends and family and all that I have. My cup runneth over. . .

Parlez-vous Francais?

Okay, I should have typed something in Spanish or Arabic or even Japanese, but it just so happens that I took 6 years of French. What was I thinking? Oh yeah. I remember. I live near Canada. I was not at all thinking when I was 12 years old that at 33 years old I would need to be bilingual in my own country of origin in order to function if I visit states that border Mexico. I am really at a loss that I did not have the forethought to think I would need to enroll in Spanish class over French class for those reasons. I just liked French better, despite the fact the majority of my good friends were in Spanish. Even then, I was a rebel. Now, I am just a patriot.
Is it just me or did someone forget what country this is? Am I not in the United States of America? Were we not founded by settlers who came over from England (native language English)? My point is when did America stop being about Americans? I can't even tell you how pissed off I am these days about all of the people that are fighting for the rights of illegal aliens and the oppressed and telling the rest of Americans that we are evil and unpatriotic because we want to keep our rights OURS! When did it become bad to be protective of the civil liberties that were ours to begin with? I know how wonderful it is to live here in the US- I live here! And if someone wants to live here that was not born here, then he or she needs to do it the old fashioned way. Cheating and coming into this country illegally is WRONG and is not fair to those who did it the right way. And the more people who support this, the more this country is going to suffer- financially and socially! We are in trouble. We are perpetuating a problem that we are not going to be able to fix if we don't stop and face the reality of the situation. We have been too nice for too long and our government isn't getting the job done! Wake up America before America is no longer yours!

What constitutes "looking?"

I was discussing the subject of relationships with a married friend and she told me that I need to stop looking and just let "love" happen. God bless my married friends as I love them all dearly, but what kind of B.S. is that? I am in my mid-thirties and the "wait and see" approach has not really worked for me thus far. I can't help but sound a little jaded with that statement, but waiting around for Prince Charming to come and sweep me into his arms so we can ride off into the sunset in his pick-up truck is a little too fairytale even for me. I love a good romance as much as the next woman, but I am not living in a romance novel and so far, this story is not a perfect love affair with 12 chapters and a happy ending with turtle doves, a white dress and wedding cake. I guess I no longer believe that love appears to a person out of nowhere one day, at least, not for me.

I have reached that point in my life where I think that person that I plan to spend my days and nights with will be someone who I already know or have met in passing and then get to know on a much deeper level, leading to the relationship that I have been looking for. That sounds strange to many, because so many bank on spontaneity and attraction for a good relationship. I don't discount these things. I need to be attracted to someone, but I want a solid foundation for my romantic relationships, one built on friendship, loyalty, trust, humor and respect. So, I figure I am going to have to put the work in to find someone and be proactive. Sitting around doing nothing and hoping he will find me is a surefire way to remain a lonely heart.

Education Lottery

I was having lunch with a colleague recently and we were catching up on each other's personal lives when he told me that he was commuting between here and Bend, Oregon because that is where his wife and daughter now live so she can attend a good school. He then proceeded to explain that due to the way Bozeman handles enrollment, they had ended up with their 6th choice for a school for their daughter. I listened intently about this entire situation as I have pretty passionate views regarding our entire education system in the United States today. Needless to say, I was amazed that Bozeman had progressed or rather regressed to this system of lottery for choice of schools. In case you don't understand the lottery concept, instead of traditional districting where you attend the school according where you live according to geographical boundary lines, Bozeman public schools, after several other systems have gone to a lottery where each parent submits six choices of schools for his/her student and then they will end up where the chips fall. There are exceptions for several items: if you live within 1 mile of the school; if you have a sibling attending the school of choice already and special needs (something like this.) I may not have my facts completely accurate here regarding the exceptions, but you understand the concept.

I can't believe that a town that claims to be as progressive as Bozeman would run their educational system in a lottery. As you can see, money talks and it speaks pretty loudly in this area. It is really sad that children are being carted around for miles and miles because no one seems to understand the concept of attending schools built near their homes. As it was explained to me, there are schools that are much better than others in regards to standardized test scores and teacher reputation (obviously). Then would it not make sense to concentrate on making the sub-standard schools better? And where do the parents take responsibility for their children's education- not by pushing it on the teachers only, but by being and active parent in the process?

My brother and sister-in-law told me that my nephew's class had a homework assignment that involved a book reading that the parents needed to sign off each night for a month. Only TWO parents out of 28 bothered to participate and sign their children's homework for the teacher. If parents are so concerned, maybe they should be involved and stop manipulating the education system for their convenience and start being a part of the solution, not creating more problems.

And regarding my colleague, before you misread my post, I don't begrudge him for taking his family to where he feels he can get a better education for his child. He does not want to be a part of what I feel is an education machine so he removed them from the situation. This was his way of dealing with this problem. I just used what happened to him as a springboard for discussion of this topic. Bozeman's education system is in dire need of some intervention for everyone's sake, but especially the student's because ultimately, they pay the price.

What is your number?

Don't you think there should be a ranking system where are all given a number between 1 and 10 that tells us what dating level we are so we know who we can date? A friend of mine was telling me a comedian did a whole bit on this very subject and he (the comedian) even went so far as to say that after we are assigned our appropriate rankings, then we should carry an ID card with that number. If you were ranked a "7", then you can date either a "6" or an "8" and so on. Truth be told, I don't think this comedian is too far off base. I think he may have this whole dating thing right on the money.

I am so tired of listening to men bitch about not being able to find a woman to date. Women are not the problem. I have seen many a man try to date outside of his "number" range. If you are wondering why the hell you are single and can't get laid by anything other than your own hand, try asking yourself if you are a "6" and going after "9's". If you know you are not a "9" and keep pursuing them, then quit your bitching unless of course your are a "6" with a 10 inch dick and make $500,000 per year.

Yes, men, unfortunately, it is true. 90% of women are money grubbing whores. At the same time, if you don't have the big dick and bank account to match, then go to K-mart and buy yourself a frickin' clue! If you are not dating the women you want to be then look in the mirror and see what the #$%@ the problem is. And, if you are sure that there is nothing wrong with you, McLovin, then SHUT UP because you are obviously not willing to change anything so don't expect different results. Oh and if you are so wonderful, then the ladies should be a-flocking.

Why so harsh, you might ask? Because I have NO patience for men or women who blame everyone but themselves for their lives, for men who think that women are the only reason they don't have a decent relationship or women who think that all men are assholes. It works both ways. No single sex is responsible for their problems. We both contribute. I just see women willing to accept men's imperfections (regardless of the reasons why) more often than men. Men generally hold women to a higher standard of physical appearance. Women tend to be more forgiving about men's physical imperfections.

Either way, if we held to a ranking system, we might save ourselves a little disappointment. It sounds idealistic and maybe even cruel, but at least all of the cards would be on the table.

Out or in?

So, the porn legend Ron Jeremy is in town to perform his comedy show. He is appearing at our local strip joint. I am quite amused by the whole thing. I thought about attending, but my social calendar is quite full this weekend, strangely enough. I have multiple invitations for Friday evening and am scheduled to work Saturday evening until 9pm. Sunday I am volunteering to be a "victim" for an EMT class. Before anyone decides to comment on that, don't. I thought I would be nice and help out a friend with her final exam. The irony is hysterical considering my past history of maladies. I should make a good test subject.

I have been going out every weekend for the past several weeks and as much as I typically like to be out and be a social butterfly, I like to hibernate at home also. The older I become, the more I enjoy the cozy, curl-up at home time. It goes in cycles for me. And if I have had a long week, sometimes I will want to blow off steam, and others I will want to do nothing more than go home, get into some sweats and watch six episodes of 24. What can I say? I am not 21 anymore. And that is a good thing for me.

I am alive

It has been so long since I posted so I thought I would just write a quick one saying I am still alive and kicking! I have had a great summer and am really trying to get back into posting on here regularly. I have some great stories to tell and funny pics to post, but I have run out of time to get to it all. Anyway, stay tuned. . .

Life Lesson

As we grow older in life, we find out who our friends really are and who is going to be around for the duration. Sometimes, this is not a fun lesson to learn, but a much needed one for us to be able to truly grow as a person. I have discovered that just because you know someone for a long time does not mean that they will be your friend forever. Our ideals and morals can change and as we mature and become who we really are, some people in our lives don't really understand our nature or character, especially if they knew us as children or have known us for many years. Sometimes, these friends are the ones who have a hard time accepting when we change or don't recognize changes because they only see who they knew, not who we have become.
It can be sad to lose a friend to diverging paths in life, but I think it is far worse to be friends with someone who does not understand you as a person and criticizes your life in hopes of your changing it for the better. It is one thing to talk to a friend whose life choices are detrimental to his or her well-being; it is another to tell him or her that he or she is has no regard for others and basically runs over the people around them in the whirlwind they call an existence.
Take it from me, I live a semi-charged, dramatic life that is touched by the occasional crisis with some craziness for flavor, but it works. That is my normal. I am fine. It has taken me years to get here and I am happier than I have been in a long time. My life has less stress, more fun, and my friends and family are not being swept up in the Julie-cyclone daily. This was not an easy task. But, NO ONE could have led me here. I had to figure out that I had the issues I did and work them out myself. I had to decide I needed to make some major changes in my life to be happier including changing careers (sort of), adding a regular exercise regimen, eating healthy 98% of the time, and surrounding myself with the right people. I did not have a friend criticize me and tell me I needed to change to initiate the process. I am not in rehab.
I know there have been some casualties of mi vida loca over the years and for that, I am sorry, but I can't say that I can change the past. None of us can. I can only move forward knowing I have created some incredible positive changes and that I have kept the friends that wanted to be here because they were accepting of me through my growth process and I thank the Lord every day for their forgiveness and His Grace!

What do Women Want?

Well if that is not a loaded question, I don't know what is. Today, I was talking with a friend of mine and he asked me that question. He also qualified it by stating "not only what 'you' want, but women." So, I took that he wanted a "generally speaking" answer. I threw him back a "Women want the fricken fairy tale." He laughed and asked me if I could be more specific.
Ok. How about this? Women want to be swept off their feet (even though half the population won't admit it.) They really do want a man who is like Prince Charming in most senses of the definition. And, I am not talking about the Shrek definition of Prince Charming either. I am talking about the real deal. Women really do want a man who is polite, respectful, romantic and manly all at the same time. He also has to be dashing, confident and bold. (Are you getting the picture of a man that does not exist?) Sometimes I think women to want this entire package. The truth is most women would be happy with even half that if the right combination was there. And then again, maybe not. There are really picky women and then there are women who only play by some stupid set of rules and then there are women who are trying to figure out what they want out of life and relationships are a sidebar. Men, if you are trying to figure out what a woman is looking for in you, there isn't a straight-forward simple answer.

If there was, don't you think we would all be in happy, functional relationships by now?

ARRRGGGHHHHHHH!

I had a subscription to one of those online dating sites for about a year. I cancelled it because it proved to be worthless to me. I was matched with a decent number of men, but they were so far away that the majority of them closed them before we ever started any communication. Many of them felt the physical distance was too great to even start something. OK. Fine. I can see the challenges in long distance; I have been down that road before and it was not fun. But, I have many more complaints about this online dating site. For something that touts compatibility as its factor, this is no different than any of the other dating sites. It is just an online meat market. And falling in love? Puh-lease!! I may eat my words about this some day, but not likely. I just think that there are too many people who misrepresent themselves on these things and too many people who are unrealistic (I started this way) when it comes to online dating.

My beef with this site is that it markets itself as being different when really it is not. My experience was the men were still the same because MEN ARE MEN! And, to be honest, I am not begrudging the men for it. I blame this site for even marketing the idea that as humans we are different than we fundamentally are. And to be fair, WOMEN ARE WOMEN, so to claim that we are not and that you can match someone based on a list of factors is hogwash. I would love to think that we as humans have evolved to intellectual relationship building, but we are not there yet. We are first and foremost creatures of biology and that starts with pheromones and basic human attraction. Everyone has different levels to which they function - meaning attraction may be instant or for some build over time. And then you have chemistry. Chemistry is a combination of many factors including physical attraction.

So, there you have it. The problem with online dating using only compatibility matching. Unfortunately, the concept is too evolved and Utopian for creatures like us. And I am not saying it does not work for some either. There have been success stories, but those people are not the majority and they have moved beyond traditional thinking. Kudos. They also must have really found a person that sparked their interest on a fundamental level or they would not have even continued the process.

You Irritate Me!

Everyone has at least one. Some people refer to them as their arch nemesis. I would say it is that person in your life who just pushes your buttons. You hear that new age BS about no one can do anything to you that you don't let them and I believe that to an extent, but sometimes people just plain piss you off. There is no getting around it and there are certain people who have a knack for it. They are just better at hitting your "PRESS HERE TO SEND ME INTO MEGA-IRRITATED MODE" button. In our group, there are four of us that have this nuance - two guys and two girls. It is ironic, too. The guys tend to irritate the women more often than the other way around. (Isn't that funny?) And to be even more entertaining, when one of the guys is irritating one of us gals, he won't be on the other gals nerves, too (at least in most situations.) We just pass the who is annoyed at who button around so there is harmony in the group the majority of the time. We are not as dysfunctional as we sound. (OK, we are, but it is normal.) We are human. For the most part, we all just get along. It is the times when we are poking fun at each other and someone decides to tow the line or one of us has decided to blame the other's gender for one individual's sins that things can get a little ugly for that moment. I think it is called being good friends. . .

More Changes

I have written several posts on here about making some major life changes over the past couple of months. It was time for me to take stock in my life and write a few new chapters. This past month I ended up writing a shorter one. This was not anticipated. After deciding to work in Alzheimer's patient care, I have had to make another change. Unfortunately, after two major knee surgeries and several car accidents, my body decided to not cooperate with my choice in careers. I ended with a trip to the orthopedic doctor praying I did not injure my knee again only to find out that thankfully I did not, but he strongly recommended that I discontinue my work in this field. I was very upset. This job means a lot to me. I am hoping to still work a few hours per month every once and awhile because that amount I can handle.

So, I am back to work in sales again. I am fine with that. I am still planning to devote time to volunteer work through the church and am going to get involved with the Chamber of Commerce. I want to give as much time as I can to non-work related activities. Another journey begins. . .

Off Limits for Life?

I have been mulling this subject over recently more and more and my opinion on it seems to be evolving. I used to think that if I was good friends with a married couple and they split up that dating these people was off-limits to our group of friends. It is just too messy and too hard for all involved. I have discussed this with several of my friends and we have varying opinions. I also said that dating within one's circle is a bad idea, but that is an idealistic view. I will admit that, especially if you have a group of friends like we do that is like the tv show, "Friends." Most of us are in are in our 30's, fun-loving, some singles, some married, and we have some common hobbies that tie us all together.

So, with a group of friends like this, I really have in the past felt very strongly about dating each other and the said consequences and dating people after someone splits up, be that a long-term relationship or a marriage. I think that my opinions on these two subjects have come from watching peoples lives turned upside down just with their break-ups and divorces and the impact it has on the relationships of everyone in their lives. Out of respect for all involved I have always felt it was better to keep the lines of friendship clearly drawn even after a split.

Regardless, we as humans don't live in a vacuum when it comes to attraction and feelings. In simpler terms, or a cliche, you can't help who you fall for. I think this is the bigger issue. Just because you have good intentions and don't want to like someone doesn't mean that will always be the case. I appreciate my friends who have shared their opinions on this subject because it really helped me take a deeper look and realize that I could say anything I wanted about these friends being "off limits" but in reality it was probably just too unrealistic of a idea.

I don't know if this situation will ever arise, but at least I have a better idea now that I need to examine it differently if it does. I have re-examined my thoughts on dating within the circle also, but that is another post. . .

Eating Healthy Costs $$$$

I don't know about you, but I have been trying to eat well or better for awhile now and it is rather irritating that the cost of doing so is significantly more than bingeing on twinkies and Dr. Pepper. I prefer to each fresh foods like fruits, vegetables, whole grains and lean meats. I keep the processed and pre-packaged foods to a minimum. In doing so, I end up having to shop more frequently and end up spending more money. For some reason, foods that are packed with high fructose corn syrup, white flour and sugar are cheaper. It is just so frustrating!!! And, as a friend and I were discussing earlier this evening, it seems like fruits and veggies are getting more expensive. . .Not good. I don't plan on changing my eating habits and heading back to eating poorly so I can die sooner full of clogged arteries and cancer, but I marvel at how as Americans we promote so many things that are bad for us and make them not only readily available, but less expensive than what is good and healthy. Welcome to the American Dream (capitalism).

Holding Out for a Hero

Where are they, I ask you? "Where have all the good men gone and where are all the Gods?" to quote the Bonnie Tyler hit. Over the past year, I would have said, they are gone. Gone forever, that there was not a good man left out there because they are all already taken or the rest have some unique social deformity that makes them undesirable like immature behavior or unrealistic expectations. Please realize I am half speaking tongue and cheek here, but really, it is so discouraging to see good men and women stay single because they can't seem to make a love connection. And for what reason?

I am not sure these days. I guess I think it is because we as humans are so ridiculously picky about our romantic relationships. I know I am. And you want to know the funny thing? I will accept the most annoying characteristics and flaws in my friends that they can possibly exhibit, but when it comes to the man of my dreams, FORGET IT! He has to be damn near perfect.

Ok, not really, but it seems that way for many of us. Why is that? Why will we let so many things slide with our friends but not with that one person, the one that means everything? Is it because they mean everything? Is it because that level of trust is supposed to be higher than that of any other with our sig figs? Is it the intimacy that dictates the need for perfection?

I don't know any of the answers. I just know that there are decent single men and women who can't seem to find their way to each other. Take for example my group of friends- there are a number of us who are single and we are all great people, but not right for each other for a number of reasons. You could ask each of us to make a list (of excuses/reasons) why each one of us is not dating each other. (We put the "dys" in dysfunctional.) I think each of us knows what our individual issues are. Whether we are willing to admit them or not, is another whole story and hence, we stay single . . .

Reflection

I have been doing a lot of thinking lately about a variety of things. I guess you could say I have been taking stock of everything in my life. At first, this was very subconscious, and then this process became mandatory and conscious. Now, I am happy to go through and make the necessary changes that have recently come about in my life. The journey to this place was interesting and at times even painful, but I am now in a happier place overall.

It is funny in a way because this weekend marks my ten year anniversary of my college graduation. Thinking back, I remember having a ten-year plan for my life and although I have created a nice life for myself and had a successful career in sales up to this point, my ten-year plan went out the window many years ago. It is good that it was only a plan, sketched in pencil and not carved in stone. Nothing is written in stone these days and I am thankful for that. Change can be good, even if there are aspects of the change that are difficult because most often growth comes out of the change.

So, from this reminiscing I found myself thinking about what my life would be like if I had taken a different path. I have spent ten years focusing on my career, putting my professional life before my personal life. I have developed a great resume, but this has left my social life lacking. I can't say I regret any of it, either. I have learned so much in the past ten years from my experiences and the people who mentored me. I also learned about myself. It is amazing what life will teach us if we are open to learning.

My reflection has brought me to a calm place, to one of new beginnings and chapters unwritten, to a new ten year plan. I am thankful for the opportunity to look forward to the next ten years to choose to prioritize my life differently.

Catch up

So Friday was my last day of work at my sales job and now I am full time at the care facility. I have already been training this past week so now this weekend I have been trying to play catch up with housework etc. I have not really wanted to do much since I worked Saturday all day, but my house is in dire need of a cleaning and major organizing. I hate to admit it, but I have gotten behind and now I need some time unwind, relax, take a deep breath and then really dig in and overhaul this place. I guess you could say a real spring cleaning is in order! So, that is what is on my agenda.

New Beginnings

I have not posted for a very long time and much is changing or has changed. I am closing a chapter in my life and starting a new one. I have finally made the move to make a major life change and leave my "corporate" job to work in a job that helps people. I am feeling such a calling from the Lord to give back now. Today was my first day at that new job. I am working in personal care with Alzhemier's patients. It is hard work. I expected it to be and it was. I also found myself thinking that as humans I don't think we ever know what we are truly capable of doing until we are challenged to do it. When I talked to my mom after the work day was over, I told her, "I bet you never thought I would be cleaning bathrooms and changing people's Depends." "No, No, I did not." But we all grow and change and go where the Lord leads us.

Zha Zha Zoo

I want to clear up some confusion regarding the definition of chemistry from my Shallow Hal post. The guy I was referring to used that term in our brief online interlude so to maintain the integrity of it, I presented it back in my story. Unfortunately, I would not define what he was looking for as "chemistry." In his mind, maybe that is what it is, but for many chemistry involves more. But before I can define chemistry, I need to talk about physical attraction. Some people interchange these two concepts or believe they are the same.

Physical attraction is simply being drawn to someone because of their physical appearance. Looking at physical attraction on the most basic level means a person likes someone else solely based upon the shape of their body, the color of their skin, the length of their hair, the color of their eyes and so on. Whether we realize this or not, this attraction is sexual in nature. We are attracted to someone because of the hormonal response our bodies have to them.

Chemistry isn't quite so tangible. Chemistry is a combination of many things. Now let me explain it. What is chemistry? The way she touches your arm and you feel it everywhere. The way he kisses you and you go weak in the knees. The way he looks at you and you both are ready to leave the party without speaking a single word. The way you finish each other's sentences because you know what the other person is thinking.
Before someone accuses me of reading too many corny romance novels, sit down, shut up and listen. Chemistry is about passion. Chemistry is about connection. Chemistry is about lust. It is about all of those things and many more that I can't even put into words. For many, you know when you have it and you know when you don't. It is almost indefinable, but not quite.

Some say you can be physically attracted to someone and end up not having chemistry. Now before anyone jumps on me and says that is just utter BS, stop and think about this. You might find a person attractive but there just might not being any zha zha zoo. I have seen it happen. Everything is there. Two great people. The kissing has begun and one of them ends up not feeling it.

Here is my point on chemistry. Most people need physical attraction to have a relationship. I am not arguing that; attraction is key. But, chemistry, that is something that most can't figure out without some time, some interaction, a few dates, some coffee maybe a movie or two and maybe even that amazing first kiss to see if it's there. And if you are simplifying physical attraction as chemistry, this might be your problem as these concepts are not one in the same.

Shallow Hal?

I met this guy last week in what is now a conventional way (the Internet) to meet people. We emailed back and forth a few times and then proceed to the high speed form of interaction, Instant Messenger. He had a picture posted on his MySpace so I knew what he looked like. During the course of our emailing and finally our IM'ing no less then three times he requested pics of me claiming he was a "visual" person. Do understand we met with premise of dating online. I don't begrudge him wanting to see who he is talking to, but let me tell you the rest of the story. . .

This particular guy and I exchanged TWO emails and Instant messaged ONE time. More content could have been written on a beverage napkin. I sent him a picture during our IM conversation. Right before I did, we had started a discussion where I had asked him what he was looking for in a relationship. He would not answer that question until he saw my picture! OK. Again, I understand wanting to see who you are talking to, but don't you think that this is a little over the top here? I mean really, withholding the answer to a question that you basically answered on your MySpace because you don't know what the woman on the other side of your IM looks like?

In one way, I admire this man's tenacity. He insisted on a picture early- no time wasting here. He is searching for perfection and he has to feel chemistry. For him, looking at someone is enough to produce whatever feelings he needs to have for what he describes as chemistry.

If every man can look at a photo and say, "I know I want that woman" or "She just does not do it for me", I should start batting for the other team today. Might be time for spring training now. Granted, I am no Ugly Betty, but I am not a Marilyn either.

I understand chemistry quite well; I received stellar marks in all my chemistry courses. Chemistry between humans is built upon these basic principles. I just don't believe that you can base it on a picture and a picture alone and I never will no matter how many men act this way. (Notice the aforementioned man is still single!) If this was truly how the world worked, wouldn't more people be together or are we all just being shallow?

Tyra Banks is Not Fat!

Let's define fat, shall we? Five feet, ten inches weighing one hundred sixty three pounds is not fat! Kickin' curves that won't quit- yeah. Bootylicious - you bet. But, fat. Oh hell no! The media has made an art form out of making women think they need to be 10 feet tall and 110 pounds and that this is normal. WTF? There is a happy medium that is normal and healthy. Not everyone is tall. Not everyone is waif thin. To portray these ideals to women and not push the message that healthy is what is most important is pure ill intent. Women need to focus on having the correct BMI (body mass index) for their height, eat well and exercise regularly.

Are we ever going to see this in magazines, on tv and in the movies? Who knows? As you can see, the minute a superstar's weight creeps up beyond what society has deemed appropriate, the media watchdogs are all over it proclaiming that so-and-so is "packing on the pounds" and "blah blah blah blah." Basically, they are sending the message that you better watch you weight or we are going to blast you publicly and humiliate you if you are not perfect. I encourage women everywhere to say a big F!@# you to the media and take control their lives. Tell society that we are not willing to be driven by unrealistic standards and pressure to be model thin, that we want our young women and children to have good role models that are healthy looking and focused on fitness and wellness, not obsessed with weight!

Real people know what fat looks and feels like and we don't want our children tossing up their lunchables because some stupid bimbo on the CW who is a Size 2 is on some TV show that they watch and they think they need to look just like her to be popular. It is up to us to educate our kids to let them know what is realistic and healthy and that exercise is an important part of wellness.

I am back!

I am sorry I have not posted for a very long time, but don't despair! I am back and I have plenty to say. Stay tuned for vast amounts of fine family fun. (Ok somethings may not be appropriate for the young, but it will all be an enjoyable highly opinionated read as most blogs are.) Hold onto your hats, find a comfortable chair and get buckled in for your reading pleasure. . .