Are we there yet?

With election day approaching, I find myself asking the question "Are we there yet?" more often each day. Many states are facing important races for congressional districts and state offices. Unfortunately, the mudslinging is out of control. I am hearing ads on the radio and seeing ads on TV that are so negative I am appalled. Once credible upstanding politicians are resorting to the lowest of tactics to persuade voters on this upcoming election day. What I see happening is these people taking steps down on the ladder of integrity, one rung at a time with each new negative political ad. Regardless of what these pompous advertising executives and political advisors are telling their clients, the campaigns are NOT affective now, but rather distasteful and downright irritating to voters. I would not be surprised if voter turnout is less than anticipated because of the negativity. I am struggling now to want to support any candidate regardless of my political beliefs because of the way this election has been handled. So, I am counting the days until I can check the boxes, fill in the dots etc and the airwaves will return to normal again.

Attraction

It has been awhile since I have posted anything controversial, so I thought I would throw something up here with a little food for thought. Over the past couple of weeks, several of us have been "discussing" a variety of topics relating to men and women and relationships. The battle of the sexes rages on. What is on my mind is the subject of attraction. Attraction means different things to different people, but we all seem to agree that is plays a major role in relationships. However, how major and to what degree is where the divisions start.

Attraction is defined as an, "attractive quality, magnetic charm, fascination, allurement, enticement." As individuals we are attracted to someone for different reasons. What attracts one person to someone may not attract the next person to that same individual. Attraction is completely subjective because we all have our own desires, likes and dislikes that have been shaped by our own individual experiences and perspectives. In general, men tend to be more visual then women; therefore physical attraction to a person tends to rate higher on the list of qualities for a man when searching for his ideal mate. Now, before I get blasted by everyone for that statement, please read on.

Physical attraction is important for woman also and if you ask women they will not lie and say it is not, but many woman as they get older will tell you that, yes I have to be attracted to someone in order for that relationship to work, but it is not my number ONE priority. Women are looking for caretakers and caregivers in relationships and in doing so will balance their needs to achieve their goals. Let me demonstrate my point. Take a look around you and see the couples of today. You will observe many beautiful women with men that you would not expect to see them with (I am not trying to sound like a judgmental, superficial person) but by society's standards these men should not be with these women, BUT THEY ARE! How do you think they ended up here? By luck? By chance? By the grace of God? (ok- maybe this one) NO! Because the woman chose that man for some other quality that he had that she needed and wanted even though he was not a George (Clooney) or a Brad (Pit)or a Vin Diesel in the looks department. We see this ALL the time.

Men, on the other hand, will tell you that they HAVE to be physically attracted to a woman or they can't be involved with her in a relationship. One night stands - that might be another story. For one night you can probably put up with no attraction just for sex, but why would you? What would the point be? (Oh- yes I know, TO GET LAID.) I don't disagree with the need for chemistry or physical attraction. This is understandable, but forty years from now that attraction is not what is going to be holding your relationship together anymore. Granted, it will still play a part; the other important elements in building a solid foundation in a relationship are what keep that relationship going, not just the attraction. It only takes a spark to get the fire going, but not to keep it burning. (Please don't misinterpret this as me saying you don't need to be attracted to someone to keep a relationship intact.)

I am not trying to draw a battle line between men and woman here and say that men have it all wrong and women have it all right in this department. I have yet to find anyone one who has any of this figured out. What I am saying is physical attraction is only the beginning and if we base everything on a single element, we may miss out on the right person because we cannot moved past the first step. People change, grow and evolve and someone you were not attracted to before you may end up attracted to later if your eyes are open to it. I know that is something that we only think happens on TV and in the movies, but in real life, if we don't believe in second chances than what do any of us have to look forward to? In converse, you can fall out of lust with someone also; attraction can work in the reverse. If you used to be attracted to someone in the past and you may not be anymore as time and circumstances have changed.

Attraction is not a finite concept. I would hate to see any person miss out on an opportunity because he or she was bound by the laws of attraction. You might be confused by this statement, but take a few minutes and think about it. The right person might be right in front of you and you've never considered it or vice versa. Then again, that may not be what is supposed to happen for either of you. I will leave you with this parting thought. For all of you who are friends with members of the opposite sex, if you think that you are "just friends", you probably are, but it was not always that way. At some point in your relationship someone was attracted to the other person as more than a friend even if no one is now. Or, if you have just met someone and both of you insist that neither is interested in the other, this may be true at this point in time, but the scales will tip at some point. Men and women are not built to be just friends. That is biology. Plain and simple. And, people change. Feelings change. Attraction is not a finite concept. . .

Weekend Update

It was a busy weekend. Friday night I had a few friends over for what was supposed to be a game night. Turns out the only game that was played was who could irritate someone more with battle of the sexes Part 22 continuing from the email conversations that a portion of the group of us had been having throughout the day. The rest of us just visited and consumed adult beverages. The evening culminated with a round robin group shoulder and foot massages. Now who would not want to kick back, relax with a few of your good friends with your favorite adult beverage and end your evening with a massage? I forgot to mention there were chips, pizza and chocolate. Need I say more?

Saturday night a group of us went out downtown to a few of the bars. We found ourselves in the middle of a "Heaven and Hell" party at 317. At first, the bar seemed like it would be a good place to hang out and the music was good. Then, the place filled up and the "thumpa thumpa" became a little more than we could all tolerate for an extended period of time. We decided to head down the street to another the Rockin R where the music was a little more listener friendly and we could chill out for a while. We met another friend and added on to the group. One of the girls had her digital camera with her so she took a bunch of wacky pics. I conveniently received them in my Inbox Monday morning. There were some good photos, too.

Sunday, I met a friend at the Cat's Paw for breakfast and ended up staying most of the day to watch football with another group of friends who are in a fantasy football league. We just hung out, chatted and had a drink or two. Sunday evening, I was invited over to a friends for an amazing home-cooked meal and good conversation. It was the perfect finish to good weekend.

And there was Monday. . .

Can I still Have the t-shirt?

Saturday night was all about the music. A few friends and purchased tickets for a fundraiser concert for Media Arts in the Public Schools (MAPS) that was put on by the Clintons. The opening band WangDangDoodle was rockin'. They played a few cover songs and some originals. They lead singer of the band is a retired movie director who helps with the MAPS program. He played a mean guitar. They did an excellent job of warming up the crowd for the Clintons. The Clintons were awesome! They played for 2 hours and were better than ever. They have a new bass player from Billings. He was a cutie! John (the lead singer) was wearing a very fashionable Michael Bolton t-shirt from the Time, Love and Tenderness Tour. We talked to John about the shirt before the band went on. He proudly told us where he had scored such a treasure. We were all very impressed with his find. LOL.

I did have a fun time throwing down the gauntlet for my friend about a guy that we saw that was hot. We decided whomever "won" the bet would be presented with a t-shirt eblazoned in glitter with something about him. LOL. By the end of the evening, we both had given up the chase (we were more interested in the music) and decided we just wanted the cool t-shirt. . .

Talking Vaginas

This past weekend, a few friends and I went to a local play that was hysterical. I was not prepared for the show, but nonetheless, had a great time and laughed until there were tears in my eyes. At one point in the play, there were women dressed as talking vaginas on the stage. There was an adolescent one, a middle-aged one and one that was supposed to be "older." LOL. You can only imagine the content of the vagina conversation.

The show was incredibly politically slanted, but still funny and a great way to spend an evening. I was so glad that I laughed so much for a night!

DVD for TV

I spent part of my weekend watching some great 80's TV shows on dvd and it was really therapeutic. I used to watch some of these shows when I was in junior high and now they have reproduced them on DVD. Some of them have a whole new meaning 15 years later. LOL. I lived for these shows when they were prime time before. The actors were HOT! They were babes. That has not really changed. But, now I realize how terrible the acting was. What can I say? Who was watching the show for acting skills? Not me. But, the escape into the past was what I needed.

Go, Cats, Go!!!

Well the Bobcats finally won a game yesterday!! It was MSU Homecoming. I guess I should not say finally, but they won a home game and it was a game that counts. My friends and I went to Old Chicago to watch the game on TV in the comfort of climate control. We munched on appetizer, drank adult beverages and finished the game off with a fresh-baked cookie topped with ice cream. Now that is the right way to watch football. . .

Nudge Nudge, Wink Wink

I am not sure how many of you pay attention to non-verbal communication, but a person actually communicates more non-verbally than verbally. Because of this, I struggle with how digital we have become in the nature of our communication. It is so difficult to be flirtatious without being blatantly suggestive or downright obvious. In person, a woman and a man can be more subtle with body movements, tone of voice, eyes- everything. I would hate to rely on our new friend, the emoticon, to portray a feeling in the new stages of an early developing relationship. What if their version of messaging program is not the same as yours? What if they are using an all-in-one? The emoticons are not always the same and then what you were trying to communicate ends up all wrong due to a misplaced little yellow redecorated smiley face! What has this world come to?

"It's Not Me, It's You"

This is the title of a fabulous book that I have to share some excerpts from for you. I can't help myself. Here are some interesting things to note. A woman should not ask a man out on a date.

"Asking a guy out is like acting every part in a play. Great for putting on a one-woman show. Not so great for much else. As much as men say they'd love a woman to ask them out, the truth is they don't understand the question. Guys would love a woman to ask them out in their fantasies, but in reality, they 'go nervous' feel unmanly, and wonder what other roles this date-askin', Xena-warrior woman is going to take over next."

Addendum

I want to add something to my previous post. If you are reading that post, and you think it is about you, it probably is not. LOL. If you are reading it and you don't know, it probably is. . .
And, I don't need to take any medication, lay off any medication or hear any advice. I have tried to give everyone the benefit of the doubt on so many things and all I see is people continuing to prove me right. How very disappointing!

Busy, busy

Life has been a little busy, so I thought I would write a little tonight while I have a free minute. I have several major topics that I would love to rant about, but due to recent events, don't feel like I can on this venue any more. Is that not the saddest thing you have ever heard? This is what it has come to. I can't even write on my own blog about the things I want to because people feel the need to assume that everything I write about is about them.

Point of clarification: if you are having issues and I happen to write something that relates to your life, think of it like TV. The characters are not related to any real life events or people or places unless I am talking specifics, using names and dates etc. I like to generalize and for some reason, people tend to read my entries and jump to conclusions. Quit and get a life. If I wanted to make an issue about you, I would use your frickin' name because I am at the point where I am so tired of the bullshit I would not protect you or myself for that matter. As you can see, I am over the crap. . .Have a nice evening!