I was discussing the subject of relationships with a married friend and she told me that I need to stop looking and just let "love" happen. God bless my married friends as I love them all dearly, but what kind of B.S. is that? I am in my mid-thirties and the "wait and see" approach has not really worked for me thus far. I can't help but sound a little jaded with that statement, but waiting around for Prince Charming to come and sweep me into his arms so we can ride off into the sunset in his pick-up truck is a little too fairytale even for me. I love a good romance as much as the next woman, but I am not living in a romance novel and so far, this story is not a perfect love affair with 12 chapters and a happy ending with turtle doves, a white dress and wedding cake. I guess I no longer believe that love appears to a person out of nowhere one day, at least, not for me.
I have reached that point in my life where I think that person that I plan to spend my days and nights with will be someone who I already know or have met in passing and then get to know on a much deeper level, leading to the relationship that I have been looking for. That sounds strange to many, because so many bank on spontaneity and attraction for a good relationship. I don't discount these things. I need to be attracted to someone, but I want a solid foundation for my romantic relationships, one built on friendship, loyalty, trust, humor and respect. So, I figure I am going to have to put the work in to find someone and be proactive. Sitting around doing nothing and hoping he will find me is a surefire way to remain a lonely heart.
Sunday, October 07, 2007
Education Lottery
I was having lunch with a colleague recently and we were catching up on each other's personal lives when he told me that he was commuting between here and Bend, Oregon because that is where his wife and daughter now live so she can attend a good school. He then proceeded to explain that due to the way Bozeman handles enrollment, they had ended up with their 6th choice for a school for their daughter. I listened intently about this entire situation as I have pretty passionate views regarding our entire education system in the United States today. Needless to say, I was amazed that Bozeman had progressed or rather regressed to this system of lottery for choice of schools. In case you don't understand the lottery concept, instead of traditional districting where you attend the school according where you live according to geographical boundary lines, Bozeman public schools, after several other systems have gone to a lottery where each parent submits six choices of schools for his/her student and then they will end up where the chips fall. There are exceptions for several items: if you live within 1 mile of the school; if you have a sibling attending the school of choice already and special needs (something like this.) I may not have my facts completely accurate here regarding the exceptions, but you understand the concept.
I can't believe that a town that claims to be as progressive as Bozeman would run their educational system in a lottery. As you can see, money talks and it speaks pretty loudly in this area. It is really sad that children are being carted around for miles and miles because no one seems to understand the concept of attending schools built near their homes. As it was explained to me, there are schools that are much better than others in regards to standardized test scores and teacher reputation (obviously). Then would it not make sense to concentrate on making the sub-standard schools better? And where do the parents take responsibility for their children's education- not by pushing it on the teachers only, but by being and active parent in the process?
My brother and sister-in-law told me that my nephew's class had a homework assignment that involved a book reading that the parents needed to sign off each night for a month. Only TWO parents out of 28 bothered to participate and sign their children's homework for the teacher. If parents are so concerned, maybe they should be involved and stop manipulating the education system for their convenience and start being a part of the solution, not creating more problems.
And regarding my colleague, before you misread my post, I don't begrudge him for taking his family to where he feels he can get a better education for his child. He does not want to be a part of what I feel is an education machine so he removed them from the situation. This was his way of dealing with this problem. I just used what happened to him as a springboard for discussion of this topic. Bozeman's education system is in dire need of some intervention for everyone's sake, but especially the student's because ultimately, they pay the price.
I can't believe that a town that claims to be as progressive as Bozeman would run their educational system in a lottery. As you can see, money talks and it speaks pretty loudly in this area. It is really sad that children are being carted around for miles and miles because no one seems to understand the concept of attending schools built near their homes. As it was explained to me, there are schools that are much better than others in regards to standardized test scores and teacher reputation (obviously). Then would it not make sense to concentrate on making the sub-standard schools better? And where do the parents take responsibility for their children's education- not by pushing it on the teachers only, but by being and active parent in the process?
My brother and sister-in-law told me that my nephew's class had a homework assignment that involved a book reading that the parents needed to sign off each night for a month. Only TWO parents out of 28 bothered to participate and sign their children's homework for the teacher. If parents are so concerned, maybe they should be involved and stop manipulating the education system for their convenience and start being a part of the solution, not creating more problems.
And regarding my colleague, before you misread my post, I don't begrudge him for taking his family to where he feels he can get a better education for his child. He does not want to be a part of what I feel is an education machine so he removed them from the situation. This was his way of dealing with this problem. I just used what happened to him as a springboard for discussion of this topic. Bozeman's education system is in dire need of some intervention for everyone's sake, but especially the student's because ultimately, they pay the price.
What is your number?
Don't you think there should be a ranking system where are all given a number between 1 and 10 that tells us what dating level we are so we know who we can date? A friend of mine was telling me a comedian did a whole bit on this very subject and he (the comedian) even went so far as to say that after we are assigned our appropriate rankings, then we should carry an ID card with that number. If you were ranked a "7", then you can date either a "6" or an "8" and so on. Truth be told, I don't think this comedian is too far off base. I think he may have this whole dating thing right on the money.
I am so tired of listening to men bitch about not being able to find a woman to date. Women are not the problem. I have seen many a man try to date outside of his "number" range. If you are wondering why the hell you are single and can't get laid by anything other than your own hand, try asking yourself if you are a "6" and going after "9's". If you know you are not a "9" and keep pursuing them, then quit your bitching unless of course your are a "6" with a 10 inch dick and make $500,000 per year.
Yes, men, unfortunately, it is true. 90% of women are money grubbing whores. At the same time, if you don't have the big dick and bank account to match, then go to K-mart and buy yourself a frickin' clue! If you are not dating the women you want to be then look in the mirror and see what the #$%@ the problem is. And, if you are sure that there is nothing wrong with you, McLovin, then SHUT UP because you are obviously not willing to change anything so don't expect different results. Oh and if you are so wonderful, then the ladies should be a-flocking.
Why so harsh, you might ask? Because I have NO patience for men or women who blame everyone but themselves for their lives, for men who think that women are the only reason they don't have a decent relationship or women who think that all men are assholes. It works both ways. No single sex is responsible for their problems. We both contribute. I just see women willing to accept men's imperfections (regardless of the reasons why) more often than men. Men generally hold women to a higher standard of physical appearance. Women tend to be more forgiving about men's physical imperfections.
Either way, if we held to a ranking system, we might save ourselves a little disappointment. It sounds idealistic and maybe even cruel, but at least all of the cards would be on the table.
I am so tired of listening to men bitch about not being able to find a woman to date. Women are not the problem. I have seen many a man try to date outside of his "number" range. If you are wondering why the hell you are single and can't get laid by anything other than your own hand, try asking yourself if you are a "6" and going after "9's". If you know you are not a "9" and keep pursuing them, then quit your bitching unless of course your are a "6" with a 10 inch dick and make $500,000 per year.
Yes, men, unfortunately, it is true. 90% of women are money grubbing whores. At the same time, if you don't have the big dick and bank account to match, then go to K-mart and buy yourself a frickin' clue! If you are not dating the women you want to be then look in the mirror and see what the #$%@ the problem is. And, if you are sure that there is nothing wrong with you, McLovin, then SHUT UP because you are obviously not willing to change anything so don't expect different results. Oh and if you are so wonderful, then the ladies should be a-flocking.
Why so harsh, you might ask? Because I have NO patience for men or women who blame everyone but themselves for their lives, for men who think that women are the only reason they don't have a decent relationship or women who think that all men are assholes. It works both ways. No single sex is responsible for their problems. We both contribute. I just see women willing to accept men's imperfections (regardless of the reasons why) more often than men. Men generally hold women to a higher standard of physical appearance. Women tend to be more forgiving about men's physical imperfections.
Either way, if we held to a ranking system, we might save ourselves a little disappointment. It sounds idealistic and maybe even cruel, but at least all of the cards would be on the table.
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