Cock-a-doodle do or Cock-a-doodle don't?

The Bozeman City Commission voted to allow chickens within the city limits this week. I am really not sure the Commission has thought this one through completely. So let's suppose you have a $500k home and your next door neighbor decides to start raising chickens a.k.a. puts in a mini feed lot next to your half million dollar impeccably landscaped home. You, since you are a true Bozemanite, also own a black lab. Your lab, not used to living next to chickens, takes off one day in pursuit of one of the birds when you let him out. You hear a giant commotion outside and go running only to find the dog next door in the neighbor's feedlot/hen house. The neighbor comes out, near hysterical. chickens are running everywhere; feather are flying. Your normally well-behaved and trained dog is chasing the birds. After all, he is bird dog. You and your neighbor whip out your cell phones and call 911. You need some help. The cops are called to your domestic disturbance. The question is- what do you say? Is it a poultry 911? Is it a domestic dispute? I mean what do you tell the 911 operator when you call? And really, having the cops show up for something like this when half way across Bozeman someone one is having a real emergency. What exactly was the Bozeman City Commission thinking? and what about the eggs? I have not even touched on all the issues surrounding eggs and egg theft. . .

Deja TV

As if the first time these shows were on they were not bad enough, we get to endure them again. If you have no idea what I am talking about, I am referring to the rebirth of 90210 and Melrose Place. For those of you who don't have the pleasure of wasting brain cells on watching trash television, 90210 is on its second season on mega network the CW. Joining it there is Melrose Place with some of the original cast members. (Really?) Could not these out of work actors find a worse nighttime soap to "act" on? In all fairness, I grew up on the originals of both of these shows and of course, like most teenagers at that time, had a huge crush on most of the male cast members. At the time, most of us did not know that all of them were well into their twenties while filming the teenage drama. Of course, I am not not totally mocking these two shows since I have not seen an entire episode of Melrose Place redux yet, but I know this. How can you mess with a classic deliciously trashy original?

The Bug

Sometimes you're the windshield. . .sometimes you're the bug sings Mary Chapin Carpenter in her song "The Bug." I am trying to figure out which one I am this week?

Catch Up

I am not sure how to write eight months worth of posts in one post, so I won't even try. I realized the other day that I had not posted on my blog since last year and thought I would write a few lines. With Facebook and Twitter, who has time for blogging? Just kidding. I don't have time to social network my life away. There are days I have time to barely check my personal email. By the time I get home at night, I am really not wanting to drone away on the computer since I am in front of one at least 8 hours a day. And here I sit, messaging friends asking myself, how did we lose the personal contact of talking on the phone or sitting face-to-face with people and trade it for the "connected" life of instant messaging, Blackberries, iPhones, and social networking? I just do not know anymore. I am so guilty of it and these things are addicting! *Sigh* If it was not for work, I would not look at my Blackberry in the evenings at all. Some nights I don't even look at my cell phone and I miss text messages and phone calls because the ringer is turned down too low. As much as I rely on technology, I find myself running away from it having been immersed in it all day and wanting a a break from the madness. It is very ironic. I want it and don't want it all at the same time. . .

Darth Vader Gets a new Job

Did Darth Vader get a demotion on the Death Star to water boy?

Overconfidence - A picture story

Sometimes I am the cat, and sometimes I am the eagle. I would like to think I am the eagle more often than not. . .

Winter is here!

Thanksgiving just happened and Christmas is right around the corner. It seems like summer was just yesterday. I can't believe how quickly fall has passed and winter just arrived upon us. I actually don't mind winter. I am not a huge fan of the snow, but that is more because of bad road conditions. Snow is beautiful. Although, icy roads scare me and so do the crazy drivers who don't know how to maneuver on them!

Winter driving in Montana is not for sissies or for those with high blood pressure. A normal 20 minute commute can take 45-50 minutes after a snowfall when the temp has dropped below freezing and that is in an AWD vehicle. Road conditions here can just get a little sketchy after the snow falls. It is not a big deal, but I don't like to drive fast at all until I get a good feel for the condition of the road. That is my policy these days. I am really not in a hurry to get anywhere so much that I will risk my life, other lives or my new car. Just not worth it!

Returning Messages

I am floored by how people find it acceptable to not return business or personal phone calls and or emails. I understand that everyone operates on his or her own time schedule and may have extenuating circumstances, but not returning communication to someone you know who has contacted you directly for some explicit purpose seems to becoming more socially acceptable. I don't really understand why? It goes against everything I know and how I was raised. Don't get me wrong. I am completely guilty of doing this myself. I can't say I have not done it or don't do it still today from time to time. Sometimes, time just gets away from me, too. But to just ignore people is downright rude. I will say that returning Email and Voicemail messages is crucial to the success of business for me so I strive to return my messages in a timely manner. In my personal life, if someone calls or emails me, I try to do the same although not always successful in getting back to someone immediately, I do get back in touch with people as soon as I can. It is just common courtesy to call or email someone who has contacted you.

The reason for my semi-rant on this subject is that I am noticing so much more lack of response from people. If they don't want to answer you, they won't and this could be someone I have talked to or know quite well. I ask - At what point did this become ok? If this was your spouse, would you ignore them? How about your family? It seems to me like we have made a decision to throw common courtesy out the door with the rest of our family values today. It not only frustrates me, but saddens me, too. What happened? ET phone home when we call.

Unicorns, Leprechauns and fat crack whores. . .

These are my list of items that don't exist. Or I have never seen one. I think it is impossible to be fat if you have a crack habit, hence the non-existence of the fat crack whore. And the unicorn being the most mythical majestic animal I know, I have never caught a glimpse of her majesty.

Really?

Ugly Stepsister

The Best Movies

One of the best things about Holiday weekends is the movie marathons on TV. Take tonight for instance. Spike TV is showing a Star Wars movie marathon. I grew up on Star Wars. My brother and I went as Star Wars characters for Halloween when we were kids. Yesterday, when my friend and I had stopped into a video store to grab a couple of movies to watch for the night, there was an entire section of new Star Wars collector's items. They even have a light saber now - one for Darth Vader and one for Yoda. The Star Wars legend lives on even for today's generation of kids and the toys keep getting better and better, yet the movies are still the best!

No Heat!

It is Thanksgiving weekend and I have a four day holiday. I had choir for a church service Wednesday night and came home afterwards to my house thermostat at a chilly 62 degrees. I normally keep my thermostat at this temperature during the day, but have it about 68 while I am here at night. I adjusted it, but the heat did not seem to be coming on. I did not really think much of it Wednesday night so I went to bed. I got up the next morning and the house was 62 and then the temp went down to 61 before I left. I adjusted the thermostat again before I left for Thanksgiving dinner with my family at my brother's house. I came home to find that the temp had not only not changed, but there was no heat blowing out of the heater vents. I turned on my air purifier heater that my parents had given me in my living room and decided that there was nothing my landlord could do for me on the holiday and to call her in the morning. I had a spa day planned so I called her on my way. It turns out that no one works on a holiday weekend in Bozeman, Montana in the heating business. My landlord spent the entire day at my apartment to find that the blower on my heater was busted. She then spent Saturday finding a replacement and someone to put it in only to find out it did not fit and part was going to have to be brought in on Monday and installed. I have space heaters all over my apartment. Both my landlord and I are terrified of these things. We are constantly checking on them to make sure they are not going to burn my apartment down, but it is the only way to heat the place until the furnace can be fixed. My landlord has been great trying to remedy this situation and provide me heat in the interim. I am so lucky that it has been and is so warm in Bozeman right now.

Hey Fat Boy

It turns out that research now shows that men being overweight is now a cause of women not being able to get pregnant. (You would think that would have stopped the sex in first place, but evidently not.) A man being obese according to recent studies can cause low sperm counts and therefore be a cause of a woman not being able to conceive.

So often times many of the reasons a woman cannot get pregnant are blamed on the woman. It is her uterus, her ovaries, her low hormone production and only after the doctors have exhausted every possible reason it could not be a woman's problem they will look at the man and his plumbing etc. And now, look at what research has found. You can't be fat anymore and have kids, boys or your swimmers are not as effective. HA!

Solute to Veterans

I just want to stop and give a shout out to all of the men and women who have served our country in the past including my dad, my sister, Tara and Chris (as well as countless others) and to those who protect and serve us today. We would not have our freedom, live in this amazing place, enjoy our rights, and be the country we are without the Veterans of the Armed forces of the United States of America. God Bless you!

When Did I Become A Ma'am?

I was headed through the drive-thru tonight which I should NOT be doing since there is just about no fast food that is gluten-free, but I have a major deadline so I can rationalize anything right now and figured I can remove the bun from a burger, right? As I pulled up to the second window after paying my fare to the nice girl at the first window (BTW, when did fast food become so expensive? I thought that fast food was supposed to be cheap. . .) a young gentlemen in one of those nice polyester uniforms says to me, "Here is your drink. Did I give you a straw already, ma'am?" He handed my my piping hot bag of 1000mg of sodium and 50g of fat and I was quickly jostled out of my post-work haze certainly not offended but definitely wondering when did I cross over into the realm of ma'am?

Flashback to the 80's

Today I went to the mall with a few friends and we shopped and hung out for hours. This is not a normal Saturday activity for any of us. We enjoyed ourselves and spent the afternoon catching up. We also observed that they cycle of fashion dictates, the 80's is rearing its ugly head and certain trends from my childhood are finding their way into my adulthood. I find this to be unfortunate, disturbing and amusing all at the same time. Today, I saw a teenage girl in fishnet stockings with a plaid mini skirt, tall black leather biker boots and black corset top. It was like I had stepped in a time machine and gone back 20 years to punk bands of the 80's! Or Halloween had come early and none of us had received the memo. . .Either way, this is an era of fashion best left in the past. I know that anyone who is my age or older with any good sense knows that mini-skirts are not a good idea, neon is a no-no and horizontal stripes can make a size 6 look like a size 12. Stop the insanity now. Stay in this decade!

Online Social Networking

I did it! Ha! I took the plunge and got on Facebook (after multiple requests from multiple friends to do so.) Now if I can just remember to check that account and update it. I can barely post on here every so often. I am amazed at how social networking has proliferated the Internet, but I hear from my friends that they can spends hours on their respective accounts. Twitter is the latest rage (I guess.) I cannot keep up with this trend. I am still back at blogging. How five years ago of me. Technology is moving so fast these days. How do we all keep up and still maintain some semblance of privacy and intimacy?

Halloween Costume Ideas

Today we were visiting for a few minutes in my office about creative Halloween costume ideas and I was trying to come up with something really creative but not so completely elaborate that it takes me 6 months to make. We discussed dressing up as a ladybug, a pumpkin, a hunter, a cowboy etc. all relatively simple costumes and easy to do. I work for an engineering firm (our parent company) so we threw out some ideas like a calculator, pencil, eraser and a bunch of grapes (ok- that one was a little out of context).

Last year for Halloween, I went as a disgruntled house wife complete with a fake cigarette and giant velvcro rollers in my hair. This year with the economy in crisis I am considering going as a credit card- Visa or Mastercard- like the entire American population could not recognize me as the most popular form of payment in America today. LOL. Might take me a little work to make one out of some cardboard and paint, but it would be pretty funny and quite ironic. .

Monday Morning Commute

After a weekend of snow, we all headed back to work today, and the roads were anything but decent. It was a solid sheet of ice from Belgrade to Bozeman, even on the Interstate. I was waiting to see the idiot who drove like he was above the concepts of physics and physical science, but did not see any cars in the ditch. I did, of course> encounter Mr. Jackass when I reached town and got off the Interstate. I found a driver in a green truck that appeared to have 4WD. He looked like a woman late for work trying to apply make-up while driving. I watched this guy swerve no less than three times in less than a 1/2 mile of driving. I was sure he was going to cause a wreck. He kept looking at himself in his rear view mirror. WTF? It was like he was shaving and driving. I mean the roads are slippery and Mr. Jackass is paying not attention to his driving. I just did not want to be in his wake after he caused a wreck or witness one.

It turned out he made a left turn and I was no longer following him. I was quite relieved but honestly scared for the other drivers around him!