World Trade Center

Anyone who reads my blog knows that I don't tend to post anything political. That is not my area, but I just saw the movie World Trade Center this afternoon and it prompted me to write a little something. I think America has forgotten that we are at war and we are at risk now more than ever. September 11, 2001 was not the first time we have been attacked, it was just the largest on American soil in a very long time. The World Trade Center was attacked in 1993. America has a short-term memory problem and a tendency to think we are invincible. Not only are we not invincible, we are vulnerable, arrogant and down stupid at times when it comes to our homeland security. We are a nation of politically uninformed bleeding heart peace lovers who think that we should stay out of war and stay home. Stay out of the war on terrorism? How? They came looking for us. They came to our country, on our soil and attacked innocent people. Not people with guns pointed at them in a combat zone, people sitting at their desks, starting a normal day at the office. You are asking us to not engage in the defense of our country, in defense of all the lives that were lost that day, of all the men and women who went back in try to save all those they could find? And I am just talking about one single event. How can we not fight this War on Terror? What would you have us do? Stay vulnerable to another day like September 11, 2001? Wait for men like these to plan more attacks, kill more people in our own country on American soil?

We are a country that does not tolerate Terrorism. We have now felt firsthand the consequences of what can happen if we do not engage and eradicating the world of these people. I pray every day for the safety of the men and women who protect our country in the armed forces and are fighting this War on Terror. We can't afford to not have them in Iraq and the surrounding areas promoting democracy and stabilizing their governments. America's homeland security depends on the efforts of our military in these areas. So many Americans don't grasp the gravity of what is happening in the middle east today and protest our involvement in this War. I would hope that before any American does this, he or she would remember that without these soldiers and their efforts, our safety would be in even more jeopardy than it is now. This War is a necessity; it is not an option.

Mi Vida Loca

Wow. I have not posted in what seems like forever. I am moved in to my new place now. If you can call it moved in. I am still living out of boxes for the most part because my life has been whirlwind since the u-haul left the drive 3 weeks ago. And things don't really seem to be slowing down much. By the time I am home in the evenings, the last thing I want to do is open a box and find a place for the items inside in my new space. I will say I am really enjoying living alone. I like having the extra space and the privacy. One of my long-time friends asked me if I was in my "happy-naked space." I laughed, and replied, "How did you know?" He said that is how he was when he lived alone. Running around naked all the time. LOL. What can I say? It is so convenient to be able to dart around half-dressed when you are in a hurry and not have to worry about who is in the house. Just love it. So, as far as creating a home. . .Well, I am working on it. I figure I will make the time or be forced to after my knee surgery next week and then I will have things more organized and my life won't quite be so crazy because I will be force to slow down. Besides, the cardboard will start to drive me crazy eventually and I will want it out of sight.

This may get me sent straight to hell on judgment day, but tonight I wanted to strangle some small children that live near my apartment! As I was updating posts etc, all I could hear out my window was SCREAMING from these children. Not playful laughing and having fun, but screaming. Apparently, the parents don't really care what noises are coming out their children because they are playing. I was furious. It is one thing for kids to run around and have fun; it is completely another for them to unload blood curdling screams that would make glass break repeatedly for 30 straight minutes past 9PM on a weeknight for no reason. Some people have no consideration for others. I almost walked out my door and went to the back yard so I could yell to wherever these people were that if they did not shut their kids up, I was calling the police and filing a noise complaint. I told my friend online that I probably should not have any kids of my own. He thinks I should have at least one.

Prince Charming is Riding on the Information Superhighway in a Lexus

To be in the 2000's means that you now are on the Internet, own a cell phone, Instant message, email, text message and quite possibly have tried Internet dating. It is not bad enough that we are almost completely digital in our communication now, but we have moved the fine art of human interaction and dumbed it down to online dating. You can now dehumanize yourself to only your first name and an online profile of personality traits that are matched for you by, what? That's right folks, a computer supposedly taking into account 29 different facets of you. Online dating is supposed to be better, at least on this one particular site because it matches a person from the inside out. Ok. Sure. Right. I have no problem with giving anything the old college try, but I have studied ecology and evolution and you can't get past human nature. Men will always be men and women will always be women no matter how compatible the computer says they are. There is a reason you have to provide a picture at some point in the matching and communication process. We are all visual creatures and chemistry plays a factor for both sexes and whether anyone wants to dispute this or not, men tend to be more visual than women.

So, here is my online dating complaint. You can spin this however you want to spin this, but someone has to tell the truth. There is no such thing as falling in love mechanically from the inside out. I hate to be the killer of romance here, but humans are just plain shallow creatures by nature. ALL OF US!!! This crap about communicating or not communicating for logical reasons is just plain nonsense. Real love is not logical. It is downright messy and passionate and full of surprises. It hits you out of nowhere one day like a speeding train with no brakes and you have no idea what just happened. The person who you never thought of as Ms. Wonderful or Mr Right is standing in front of you in a whole new light. Love is unpredictable and spontaneous. It is anything, but planned and guided and mechanical.

Online dating? Relationships started with no human contact? As a society, I think we have so masterfully found a way to remove emotion from the most emotional part of our lives and at the same time convince ourselves that this is better, more efficient and less threatening. How sad is it that we are moving more towards the digital and less towards the emotional and personal?

The Shower After

So after yesterday's fun float, I was fortunate enough that my friend let me grab a shower at his place before the BBQ. At that time, I was still sunburn free. Normally, my burns, if any will show up in the shower that night or the morning after I have spent any length of time in the sun. Since I showered right away yesterday afternoon, I thought I was in the clear. Well, of course, this morning was no exception. I woke up with a sunburn in the most unusual places and of course, my shower was most unpleasant. I have patches on the tops of my feet and stripes right on the front areas of my arms/shoulders right on the swimsuit line. It is not like I did not bathe in sunscreen. I sprayed it all over and reapplied while on the river. But, I must not have used enough or applied the waterproof one in those areas. Is this not the way this always works? Gotta love it.

8 second Ride

Before you think rodeo and get all excited, let me reassure you that it was not a bull that I was on. Yesterday, I elected to relax and float the river with some friends. Last summer I purchased brand new tubes from one of the tire dealers here in town and never got to use them, so this was their first time being blown up and baptized. After our individual treks to our meeting place, a pow-wow to get everything situated in two vehicles, a proper packing of the beverage receptacle and a Baldwin sighting, we finally headed out to the water. Dropping of my car at the end point normally would have been easy if our other vehicle was not overloaded with tubes and people, so we had to make a run with cars before we actually got started. By the time we had everything actually in the water, it was extremely HOT outside and I was ready to be on the river. It was a good thing, too because after about 15 minutes of roping all of our tubes together and the cooler so it would be within a good tug of rope from any one of us, we were ready to go. Sounds relatively easy, right? Sure. Except my tube decided it was a bucking bronco. I sat on it and quickly landed upside down, feet in the air, under the tube in the river. Thanks for the refreshing dip! I tried it again. No go. This tube would not have me or my ass in it for any period longer than about 5 seconds. Fortunately, I traded my friend for her larger tube and this one was a steady ride. My tube did not cooperate with her, either in the beginning. It just did not want to let anyone on stay on it. I guess she is a better rider than me and finally lasted more than the 8 seconds, tamed the beast and held on for the duration.
So, after the inner tube rodeo, we finally started our float down the Madison. We had a great time. It was quite enjoyable just to relax, trade insults with each other and just enjoy the scenery. Of course, the boys were manning the cooler. Now how would you know that at some point, this was going to lead to trouble? Maybe because there were adult beverages involved? Each man had his own 32 oz sippy cup with Wild Turkey? Not sure, but a deviation from attention to cooler detail did lead us to two men flipped upside down, broken glass, a cooler wide open and half of what was in it happily floating down the Madison. A litter bug I am not. Things happened so fast I could not tell you what led to the demise of the cooler and the men. We all ended up bumped, bruised, wounded and scraped after that incident.
I will say, regardless of a snafu or two, we all had a great day, laughed a lot and enjoyed the fun. Ended the day with a BBQ at a friend's place. Women shopped. Men cooked. Everyone spiraled down pretty fast after all the sun and fun.

Moving Part 60

I am ready to move now. This is process is becoming annoying. (As if it was not in the first place.) I am still packing. Today, a friend said to me, "How much shit do you have? You live in a freakin' apartment!" I laughed. I have been packing for days. But, I do have a lot of stuff and I am trying to be organized and get rid of things as I go. I also can't really take too many trips up and down my stairs at one time to move boxes out to my garage. That is why I am moving. The stairs and my knees don't really get along anymore. It will all be over in 2 weeks and I will get to unpack it all in the new place. GREAT! That is another fun process, but I am actually looking forward to settling into a place of my own. Now, what did I do with that tape gun. . .

Rumors

Do you remember playing the telephone game as a kid? Someone would tell someone a sentence or a phrase and then you would try to maintain the integrity of that sentence while it worked its way through everyone playing the game. Now, if rumors only worked that way. Fundamentally, a rumor is the exact opposite. The integrity of what is said is so distorted that by the time it reaches who it was said about, there is barely any truth to the story (as if there was any to begin with).

I am so amazed and all at the same time not even phased by this entire process I can't even begin to tell you. I was just scooped up, chewed on, and spit out of the rumor mill today and I work in a "professional" office. What is even more disheartening is the people who are involved in the process as it seems this usually goes, are not dealing with firsthand information, are listening to some who are, and listening to others with hearsay only and then perpetuating the rumor down the line to the ones who are supposedly involved in this "so-called incident" that started the actual juicy little tidbit that led to a select group of people's gum's a flappin'. WHEW!!!!! Did you feel that spiral?

And I have to ask this. Why are we so quick to believe the worst about people? (Rhetorical question) Is it because we are still acting like adolescents in high school? Not only that, but I am so glad that people have so much time to devote to things like these and not to what they are supposed to be doing like working! Rumors aside, as there is rarely truth to most of them or such a twisted version of it that you cannot get a clear picture of what is really going on, I will say this. If you are someone with so little respect for a person as to believe a rumor without getting your facts clarified, then you might want to consider how much respect someone is going to have for you if the tables are turned and you are in his or her shoes.

Moving

Well, at the end of the month I will be moving and as it turns out, the place will be mine from the beginning. I am excited about that part, but I HATE moving. I spent the majority of my holiday weekend packing. My mom was here the latter part to help. My parents, after all these years still believe in helping my brother and I take care of these kinds of things. He recently bought a house and they both drove down here to help with everything; mom help with the packing and dad lent his truck for the moving. Steve and I feel we are very fortunate to have parents that are so generous with their time. Even with Mom and Dad's help, moving me will be no small feat. I have accumulated a lot of stuff over the years and I just donated a bunch to charity. Downsizing is such a challenge for me as I am a self-admitted pack rat. Herein lies the argument for owning my own home, but not the price tag/debt that accompanies it.
We did pack a lot last weekend, but I still need to live here for 3 weeks, so we had to leave the essentials out and what did not get done, I am focusing on doing over the course of the next several weekends and in the evenings. I also hate to pack. I don't think anyone likes to move. You have to figure out where to put things, what you can live with while you are in transition, and what you can live without. Great! My life is in turmoil and now you want me to make decisions too. LOL. That is ok, though, because I am ready for the adventure. As mentioned previously, it is time for a change.

New Chapter

Well, it is time. I am moving to a new place. I am not a huge fan of moving because it involves packing and cleaning and I feel about those they way I feel about laundry, but it must be done to get to the next chapter. This will be good. For the moment, I will still have a roommate, but she is not staying long. She is moving on. In the next several months, the place will become my very own. I have not lived alone since I moved out of my parents' house. I have always had roommates. I am looking forward to having a space that is just mine. Should be an interesting time. . .

Flowers that Frighten

I have the best record for not catching the bouquet at every wedding I have every been to over the last 15 years. I have managed to either miss the catching the bouquet with a graceful smile or just miss that entire event at the reception altogether by conveniently making myself scarce at that time if I could. My wonderful friends, though usually do not let me miss the bouquet toss. For some reason, they have made sure as we singletons dwindle that my derriere is out on that floor and readily available for flower catching as if that my insurance policy for marriage. I think my record was a whopping 15 out of 15 misses until my brother's wedding this past weekend.
And then I was flanked by my 11 year old niece (who should not have been out there to catch the bouquet in the first place) and low and behold, she reached up and snatched that bugger. Good for her!! I was ecstatic. My older brother, on the other hand, was not. LOL. He was the one who said she should have never have been out there in the first place. The bouquet toss is supposed to be for eligible women (I would assume that would mean 18 years of age and older?) only. This would not include my niece. At this point, I am laughing at him. I told him it was no big deal. She should keep it and at the rate I was going she was going to get married first anyway. He proceeded to tell me that I should have caught it and if I did not have "alligator arms" I would have. "Alligator arms?" At this point, I was about to bust a gut, but I could not dissuade him. He insisted that by proxy, this bouquet belonged to me because we had to keep it in the family. Huh? Where did he come up with this twisted reality?
It turns out I have to start over now, as I ended up with the tosser and evidently will be the next to get married if you believe the tradition. I have a lot of work to do if that is the case. . .

Went to the Chapel

The wedding is done. The bride and groom are happily married and now, and one week later are off on their honeymoon. The wedding was beautiful. Everything went well. Everyone had a great time. I even managed singing with a wretched cold and not sounding like I had one. I thank the Lord for giving me the 3 and a half minutes I needed to honor my brother and his new wife with that special gift. What a wonderful weekend of family, friends and fun times. Weddings make me sentimental.

Laundry

What can I say? Besides cleaning, I hate to do laundry. I wait until the last possible minute to wash my clothes and because I have as many as a small department store this is entirely possible. I just don't like to have to sit around and wait for the washer to finish and then move them to the dryer only to have to remove them and then fold them to move on to the challenge of finding a place to put them away in the tiny space of my bedroom. If I ever get to own my own home, I will build a closet with a house around it (that and the kitchen). I must have space to put away clothes and in my current situation, I don't have much. We are crammed in here like sardines in a can. I know it could be worse, but I am in my 30's now. It is time to get into an adult living situation where I don't feel like I am living like a college student any more. But, the price of property in this area is beyond outrageous. That is another post. Back to laundry, I can accumulate up to 10 loads before I am desperate. Ten loads will take me a weekend to accomplish. And I don't have time to waste on that. There is an overwhelming sense of dread that washes over me when I have to wash my clothes. Ok. It may not be that bad, but it really just annoys me. LOL.

Going to the chapel

I have been a little out of touch lately. A busy life dictates little time to post on the blog. I have been running around getting ready for my brother's wedding. I cannot believe it is already here. I think I remember when I got the call that he was engaged. Wow, how time flies! I am really excited to see all of our family and the friends that are making the trek here for this special event. I am thankful for any time with my family as so many of us live so far apart. The wedding is Saturday in Helena at the church we grew up in. It will be standing room only. I am not a bridesmaid- whew! I avoided this one, but I am singing. The only two things I do for weddings are be a bridesmaid and sing. I am professional bridesmaid and wedding singer. If you need either, let me know. Sometimes, I get to do both at the same time. Those weddings are my favorite. Killing two birds with one stone. I figure by the time I get married I will have some sort of record for both. At one point, my brother and I were in a little unspoken contest of who had been an attendant more times. He won. HA!! I think he has actually been a best man as many times as I have been a bridesmaid. To me, all that means is we both have a lot of friends that we mean a lot to. I have to thank my brother for this wedding in advance. It is going to be short and sweet with just the right amount of spirituality and tradition. I am so glad he is getting married in the church. A marriage started in the eyes of thed Lord is a blessed union. Until Saturday. . .

The Primary

Tomorrow is the primary election in Montana and I hate this day. I love the freedom we have to vote, but I hate party voting. The lines of political parties have changed so much in the last 100 years that I don't know what to call myself anymore. I know where I stand on the issues, but calling myself a democrat or a republican is not a completely true statement. I disagree with both schools of thought on major issues that cross over. Here in lies my dilemma.

The Windy Intruder

Holy shit! I leave the house for a meeting and come home to find my roommate coming out to the driveway cell phone and keys in hand about 5 minutes after I pulled in looking a little shaken. I thought she just wanted to rotate cars (I was now parked behind her) because she usually leaves before I do in the morning, and then she tells me, "I think someone was in our house." huh? WTF? She then proceeds to tell me that she was in our upstairs bathroom and looked up to see that the attic door is ajar. Neither one of us had touched it nor had her boyfriend. The only thing I could think of was that when they came to fix my Internet they re-wired through that space so I called my tech to see if he had done any re-wiring. I did reach him and he said no go on the disturbing of the attic. That did not help us. We decided to call the non-emergency number for the police. They sent over two officers who checked out the house for us and explained how our attic had a certain type of insulation that was like fluffy white snow and it had not been disturbed, but when it is really windy outside can create a suction effect and pull doors like ours ajar because there was a crack in the corner of the outside panel. My lord! All this mess because of the wind. . .

Why There Are Rules

I was asked the other night why I have rules about my male friends dating in the circle of my female friends. I already know that this is not everyone's favorite topic and people think everyone should be allowed to date who they want to, but please consider this before you judge me. The rules come from past experience and I don't mean just one. The messes I have ended up in have cost me friendships and looking back, this is the only way I know to prevent this. Granted, we are all older and maturity is the gift we have been given (in most cases), but you cannot change the fact the we are human and emotions run deep and a romantic relationship can shift the balance of any group's dynamics.

Don't get me wrong. I want people to be happy, especially my friends. I want them in stable, permanent, monogamous, kissy-face, make-me-sick relationships, and sometimes I think the best way to get there is for everyone to know everyone else (meaning date within your circle) since the concept of actual dating has gone completely by the wayside in today's society, but what happens when they break up?

Let's start with the circle of friends where couples begin to form. Everyone is hanging out having a good time and then a boy likes a girl or a girl likes a boy. It is as simple as a little biology and chemistry. So, they hook-up. In the beginning, things are just the same, only what was two is now one. Then, this couple ends up not staying together. They are friends with all of you. Everyone in the group likes both of you and the break-up is not really going all that well. Even as adults, break-ups result in hurt feelings, bad behavior and some "he said, she said." This stuff is not reserved for teenagers and as much as we would never want to admit it, the drama we see in movies and on TV that we laugh at does really happen in real life. Face it. We are human and we can't help ourselves. And often, you will see a division of men and women over the demise of a relationship. Why? Because society has dictated that women side with women and men side with men. If you believe that crap, great. Whatever. The point is, when a relationship ends, no one wins and everyone around you is affected. It is a like a nuclear bomb. There is no containment. The groups ends up with a shift in what once was a very delicate balance in male-female non-sexual relationships. If you know the movie, "When Harry Met Sally," Harry insists that women and men cannot be friends. That there is always one person who is romantically interested in the other person at any given time in the relationship. I am not sure I agree totally with that statement, but I think that Harry is definitely correct in his concept. It is all about timing. Men and women think so differently about sex and about relationships this concept warrants an entirely different discussion. How this relates to the rules is why it is so difficult to date within a group of friends. Timing can be a problem. You met him/her at the wrong time. Someone else saw him or her first.

So, back to this question. Why are there rules about dating each other's friends? Let me connect the dots so we have a clear picture. I have asked several men if they would date an ex girlfriend of one of their friends. The answers vary, but for the most part, men don't have rules. Men don't care if the woman they are with was their brother's former wife. Ok. Maybe not that drastic, but I think you might be getting my point. Women, on the other hand, in general, if they are good friends, do not date each other's men. Ever! At least not the women who want to stay friends. You just don't go there. And to take it one step further, you don't date men that your friend's have expressed a serious interest in, dated for any decent length of time, or have any on-going relationship with (even if the relationship is only friends) without that woman giving her blessing and even then you should probably say no. Please be aware, that there are always exceptions to the rules and women know when they are okay with their friends dating someone and when they are not. This is entirely situational. Many women don't have a problem with their friends dating a guy that they liked or dated 10 years ago, but they do liked to be asked before a friend goes out with him. Nothing bothers women more than seeing "a friend" with someone she used to like or dated. Honesty is always the best policy. We don't "own" these men; we just like to be informed so there aren't any surprises later. It is just courtesy.

Any man reading this is probably going to flip out, say this is bullshit and think he does not have much of a chance if there is a gatekeeper out there not letting her friends date each other, but guys, get a clue. This is not only about you. This is about maintaining the integrity of all of the relationships involved and believe me, I have been down this road a few too many times to not have these rules. This is about looking out for everyone's interests, yours included, even though you probably don't think do. Past experience has brought me here and I am through with learning my life lessons multiple times. Do remember this, a woman always makes up her own mind in the end so you still have a chance.

The Saturday Aftermath

Last night was a great night with friends. We did a little pre-funking at a friend's house and then headed out on the town. I had stocked his place with a bottle of alcohol for each of us. I figured if we were going to do this right, we might as well plan on being fully loaded. That, and I wanted everyone to have his/her choice of drinks. We just hung out and shot the breeze for several hours, laughing, joking etc, all of us drinks in hand until we decided we needed a change of scenery (more men) so we headed downtown. By the time we headed downtown, we were all feeling pretty good. At this point, we all could still feel our teeth. We did look for a bar so we could try to embarrass ourselves at karoake, but thankfully enough the one we went to that normally has it, did not last night. My ears are very happy. We ended up going in there to have a drink anyway. Interesting crowd there. We found some dartboards and made a sorry attempt to play darts. I am a terrible dart thrower. I did at least hit the corner of the piece of wood that the actual board was mounted on in the first round. . .
Next, we headed across the street to one of the only bars in this town that you can dance. The place is usually crowded, smoky, hot and the average age of the individual is 19. Last night was no exception. We did not care. We found our way to the bar, ordered drinks, and proceeded to the dance floor to shake our assets. Of course, my best friend was hit on by a 19 year old who wanted to take her home. It was a, "matter of life and death." The lines kids have these days. We finished our night downtown in this bar.
Our night did not end here. We headed outside after last call to find our way back to the car and gather up our crew when I was approached by an man who had paid me a compliment at the first bar. I must say that this is a brave man to come up to a group of mostly women to talk to a woman you don't know takes courage. He wanted to take me home. My friends were delighted. I was not in the mood, nor was I going to leave with a man and ditch them. I took his number. Cell phones are so handy.
We went back to my friend's house and decided to find the leftover pizza that we had from dinner and devour that and bullshit some more. We dwindled in numbers until it was just three of us and the clock read 4:50 freakin' am. We headed to separate sleeping venues and all tried to grab some shuteye. At around 8AM, my friend and I were both awake so we came home to get ourselves cleaned up and feeling human again. She and I decided to go to breakfast. By the time we got showered and ready to go it turned out to be lunch. Yes, I was moving slow today. I can admit I was not feeling like my normal bright-eyed and bushy-tailed self this morning. Can't say it was just the alcohol either. Like who has not been a little dehydrated? Besides, I was drinking water for awhile before trying to sleep. I have the wonderful pleasure of the post-car accident back problems and the knees of a 60 year-old at 30. So, needless to say, when I go out and dance (which I love to do), I expect to pay for it the next day and I do it with a smile on my face!!
Went to lunch and hung out some more before my best friend had to head home. After that, it was bed time for bongo. I had to get some ZZZZZZ's and I slept most of the day and into the evening today. I had not planned to do that, but I am so glad I did.

T.G.I.F.

Friday has finally arrived. Hallelujah!!! I have been looking forward to this day all week and if you read my previous post, a "Big Fun Night" is what is on the agenda tonight. Probably not as crazy as those excursions in college, but who knows where it will lead or what will happen? But I love hanging out with my good friends after a long day and seeing where the evening takes us. Cocktails, good company, good conversation. . .ahhhhhhhh. This is the good life.

Big fun night- part 25

"Big fun night." This is what my best friend and I used to title our pre-planned party girl nights out on the town in college. We would gear up about Wednesday for a Friday night that would result in us not being able to feel our teeth, laughing until our sides hurt, talking to people we did not know by the paper towel dispenser in a bathroom that no self-respecting woman in the daylight hours would even set foot in, shamelessly flirting with the bouncers, bartenders and DJ's to win free drinks, dancing for 3 hours breaking only for water to re-hydrate to go back and shake our tail feathers some more, with a 2AM stop at Perkins for mozzarella sticks and cheese fries. I think I might be paying for those late night fat fests now. We were crazy and we did not care. We would ignore everyone around us and just have fun without wondering what people were thinking. It did not even occur to us to care. I think the 12 shots of vodka might have helped. . .
I look back at those nights now and laugh. My best friend and I talk about some of those times and wonder how we survived the binges, the sugar in the foo-foo drinks, some of the men we chose back then and ask ourselves what were we thinking? And at the same time, I look at those carefree college times and wonder when life became less like the hallmark card and more like a bad sitcom. Don't get me wrong. I have a good life. I have a wonderful family, amazing friends, (yes-even the ones who irritate me from time to time). And yet, I am wondering what would life be like behind door number 3? I am not talking about regretting any of the choices I have made. Just a change of venue. Some days I just have to wonder what life would be like if I had done just one thing differently. . .