Zha Zha Zoo

I want to clear up some confusion regarding the definition of chemistry from my Shallow Hal post. The guy I was referring to used that term in our brief online interlude so to maintain the integrity of it, I presented it back in my story. Unfortunately, I would not define what he was looking for as "chemistry." In his mind, maybe that is what it is, but for many chemistry involves more. But before I can define chemistry, I need to talk about physical attraction. Some people interchange these two concepts or believe they are the same.

Physical attraction is simply being drawn to someone because of their physical appearance. Looking at physical attraction on the most basic level means a person likes someone else solely based upon the shape of their body, the color of their skin, the length of their hair, the color of their eyes and so on. Whether we realize this or not, this attraction is sexual in nature. We are attracted to someone because of the hormonal response our bodies have to them.

Chemistry isn't quite so tangible. Chemistry is a combination of many things. Now let me explain it. What is chemistry? The way she touches your arm and you feel it everywhere. The way he kisses you and you go weak in the knees. The way he looks at you and you both are ready to leave the party without speaking a single word. The way you finish each other's sentences because you know what the other person is thinking.
Before someone accuses me of reading too many corny romance novels, sit down, shut up and listen. Chemistry is about passion. Chemistry is about connection. Chemistry is about lust. It is about all of those things and many more that I can't even put into words. For many, you know when you have it and you know when you don't. It is almost indefinable, but not quite.

Some say you can be physically attracted to someone and end up not having chemistry. Now before anyone jumps on me and says that is just utter BS, stop and think about this. You might find a person attractive but there just might not being any zha zha zoo. I have seen it happen. Everything is there. Two great people. The kissing has begun and one of them ends up not feeling it.

Here is my point on chemistry. Most people need physical attraction to have a relationship. I am not arguing that; attraction is key. But, chemistry, that is something that most can't figure out without some time, some interaction, a few dates, some coffee maybe a movie or two and maybe even that amazing first kiss to see if it's there. And if you are simplifying physical attraction as chemistry, this might be your problem as these concepts are not one in the same.

Shallow Hal?

I met this guy last week in what is now a conventional way (the Internet) to meet people. We emailed back and forth a few times and then proceed to the high speed form of interaction, Instant Messenger. He had a picture posted on his MySpace so I knew what he looked like. During the course of our emailing and finally our IM'ing no less then three times he requested pics of me claiming he was a "visual" person. Do understand we met with premise of dating online. I don't begrudge him wanting to see who he is talking to, but let me tell you the rest of the story. . .

This particular guy and I exchanged TWO emails and Instant messaged ONE time. More content could have been written on a beverage napkin. I sent him a picture during our IM conversation. Right before I did, we had started a discussion where I had asked him what he was looking for in a relationship. He would not answer that question until he saw my picture! OK. Again, I understand wanting to see who you are talking to, but don't you think that this is a little over the top here? I mean really, withholding the answer to a question that you basically answered on your MySpace because you don't know what the woman on the other side of your IM looks like?

In one way, I admire this man's tenacity. He insisted on a picture early- no time wasting here. He is searching for perfection and he has to feel chemistry. For him, looking at someone is enough to produce whatever feelings he needs to have for what he describes as chemistry.

If every man can look at a photo and say, "I know I want that woman" or "She just does not do it for me", I should start batting for the other team today. Might be time for spring training now. Granted, I am no Ugly Betty, but I am not a Marilyn either.

I understand chemistry quite well; I received stellar marks in all my chemistry courses. Chemistry between humans is built upon these basic principles. I just don't believe that you can base it on a picture and a picture alone and I never will no matter how many men act this way. (Notice the aforementioned man is still single!) If this was truly how the world worked, wouldn't more people be together or are we all just being shallow?

Tyra Banks is Not Fat!

Let's define fat, shall we? Five feet, ten inches weighing one hundred sixty three pounds is not fat! Kickin' curves that won't quit- yeah. Bootylicious - you bet. But, fat. Oh hell no! The media has made an art form out of making women think they need to be 10 feet tall and 110 pounds and that this is normal. WTF? There is a happy medium that is normal and healthy. Not everyone is tall. Not everyone is waif thin. To portray these ideals to women and not push the message that healthy is what is most important is pure ill intent. Women need to focus on having the correct BMI (body mass index) for their height, eat well and exercise regularly.

Are we ever going to see this in magazines, on tv and in the movies? Who knows? As you can see, the minute a superstar's weight creeps up beyond what society has deemed appropriate, the media watchdogs are all over it proclaiming that so-and-so is "packing on the pounds" and "blah blah blah blah." Basically, they are sending the message that you better watch you weight or we are going to blast you publicly and humiliate you if you are not perfect. I encourage women everywhere to say a big F!@# you to the media and take control their lives. Tell society that we are not willing to be driven by unrealistic standards and pressure to be model thin, that we want our young women and children to have good role models that are healthy looking and focused on fitness and wellness, not obsessed with weight!

Real people know what fat looks and feels like and we don't want our children tossing up their lunchables because some stupid bimbo on the CW who is a Size 2 is on some TV show that they watch and they think they need to look just like her to be popular. It is up to us to educate our kids to let them know what is realistic and healthy and that exercise is an important part of wellness.

I am back!

I am sorry I have not posted for a very long time, but don't despair! I am back and I have plenty to say. Stay tuned for vast amounts of fine family fun. (Ok somethings may not be appropriate for the young, but it will all be an enjoyable highly opinionated read as most blogs are.) Hold onto your hats, find a comfortable chair and get buckled in for your reading pleasure. . .