Twenty Minutes

I have a friend who as a theory that it should only take 20 minutes to get from one side of Bozeman to the other even on a bad day. Today I am calling this theory BULLSHIT! Bozeman has become near impossible to drive 2 fricken miles in under ten minutes. Granted, we are not in Denver, Seattle, Chicago or San Francsico, but we have our little traffic foibles and they suck it up and muck it up here. Today I saw the best bumper sticker "Welcome to Bozeangeles Montukey" I would have laughed even harder if it wasn't so frickin' true these days. And the reason I had time to actually read this bumper sticker, well actually study it intently was because th City decided to repaint the lines on one of our busiest streets TODAY. I understand the need to do refresh painting etc, but since I am not a city planner I don't understand painting during the busiest time of the day causing end of day traffic to become a clusterfuck for the end of the day commute. I know that road crews don't normally work weekends, but I can think of a few better times to paint the lines on the busiest intersections in town and they have nothing to do with 8AM or 5PM Monday through Friday. And then possibly we could go back to everything only takes 30 minutes to reach in Bozeman. . .
But not with, striping, road closures, and idiot planners.

A Hell of a Mess: Observations by Lee Iacocca

So here's where we stand:
We're immersed in a bloody war with no plan for winning and no plan for leaving.
We're running the biggest deficit in the history of the country. We're losing the manufacturing edge to Asia , while our once-great companies are getting slaughtered by health care costs.
Gas prices are skyrocketing, and nobody in power has a coherent energy policy. Our schools are in trouble. Our borders are like sieves. The middle class is being squeezed every which way.
These are times that cry out for leadership. But when you look around, you've got to ask:

"Where have all the leaders gone?" Where are the curious, creative communicators? Where are the people of character, courage, conviction, competence, and common sense?

I may be a sucker for alliteration, but I think you get the point.

Name me a leader who has a better idea for homeland security than making us take off our shoes in airports and throw away our shampoo? We've spent billions of dollars building a huge new bureaucracy, and all we know how to do is react to things that have already happened.

Name me one leader who emerged from the crisis of Hurricane Katrina . Congress has yet to spend a single day evaluating the response to the hurricane, or demanding accountability for the decisions that were made in the crucial hours after the storm. Everyone's hunkering down, fingers crossed, hoping it doesn't happen again.

Now, that's just crazy. Storms happen. Deal with it. Make a plan. Figure out what you're going to do the next time.

Name me an industry leader who is thinking creatively about how we can restore our competitive edge in manufacturing. Who would have believed that there could ever be a time when "the Big Three" referred to Japanese car companies?

How did this happen? And more important, what are we going to do about it?

Name me a government leader who can articulate a plan for paying down the debt, or solving the energy crisis, or managing the health care problem. The silence is deafening. But these are the crises that are eating away at our country and milking the middle c lass dry.
I have news for the gang in Congress. We didn't elect you to sit on your asses and do nothing and remain silent while our democracy is being hijacked and our greatness is being replaced with mediocrity.
What is everybody so afraid of? That some bobble head on Fox News will call them a name?
Give me a break. Why don't you guys show some spine for a change? Had enough? Hey, I'm not trying to be the voice of gloom and doom here. I'm trying to light a fire. I'm speaking out because I have hope. I believe in America In my lifetime I've had the privilege of living through some of America 's greatest moments. I've also experienced some of our worst crises:
The Great Depression , World War II , the Korean War , the Kennedy assassination, the Vietnam War, the 1970s oil crisis, and the struggles of recent years culminating with 9/11. If I've learned one thing, it's this: You don't get anywhere by standing on the sidelines waiting for somebody else to take action. Whether it's building a better car or building a better future for our children, we all have a role to play.
That's the challenge I'm raising in this book. It's a call to action for people who, like me, believe in America . It's not too late, but it's getting pretty close. So let's shake off the horseshit and go to work. Let's tell 'em all we've had enough.
Excerpted from "Where Have All the Leaders Gone?"

Blast from the Past

I managed to send out a bunch of Christmas cards with a long update letter this year to my family and friends some of which I have been out of touch with for an extended period of time. I included some pictures I had taken when we had them done for the church directory in as many of them as I could. I ended up hearing from two of my friends that I have not talked to in quite some time. We are on email and messenger now so we are in regular contact. I am really excited! Anyway, things have changed a lot in our lives, but it is like nothing has changed in many ways. There is nothing like an old friend.

The People have spoken

Well, the first Caucus was in Iowa yesterday and the voting public has spoken. I can't say I was too surprised, but it is going to be an interesting 2008. I may have to get really interested in foreign film, set a new record for how many books I have read in a year or take up guitar playing. I am not sure I have the patience to tolerate the political cloud that is settling over America for the next 11 months. In such a crucial election year, I do want to know my candidates and the issues, but I don't want to eat, sleep and breathe every move each of them make just so one of them can get an edge over the other (compliments of our media.) I feel myself using my NetFlix account a lot in the next 11 months. . .

2007 - A year of big changes

Wow! Where did 2007 go? This year flew by in a whirlwind of big changes for me. My family experience graduations, new arrivals, and early exits.

I started off the year with my annual Market America business trip to Miami. Miami in February is always nice and this past year was no exception. The sun was shining and the trip was very educational. At the end of March, I was able to attend our regional convention in Portland, Oregon. The highlight of this trip for me was my visit with my Uncle Don and Aunt Cindy in Vancouver. I don’t get to see them very often and I was able to combine this business trip with some special family time. It was such a treat for Mom and me!

In late February/early March, my life began a series of big changes. My job was in a state of flux and had been for several months. I had been promoted to Sales Manager in March of 2006 and had two different sales reps work for me- neither of which ended up being a good fit for the company. In March, I was told by the Operations Manager that my compensation package was changing (again) and given a new contract to review and sign prior to the annual stockholder’s meeting. I prayed about what to do. I liked the company. I liked my job, but I felt like I was not growing anymore the way I needed to and I was not happy overall.

In April of 2007, I left the company after 4 years and started working for an Alzheimer’s only care facility. I decided I wanted to work there full time being a care-giver. After being trained, I worked 32 hours per week on the 3-11pm shift. I really liked the work and became very attached to the residents. Unfortunately, my knees did not like the demands of the 8-straight hours of physical labor. I cut back to part-time and worked 4-hour shifts on the weekends all summer and intermittently throughout the fall. They have changed the schedule now so there are no more 4-hour shifts and unfortunately, my orthopedic doctor does not recommend I continue this type of work with the condition of my knees.

I am working with management to find some type of work and schedule that works for both of us so I can still help out. This work is very rewarding and the families really appreciate the caregivers. These residents really need people who truly love and care about them. It is like having 12 grandparents that I don’t want to give up caring for. This job has changed me and I now know that I need this in my life. I never knew what I was willing or able to do until I worked at this facility. The Lord truly challenges us so we can learn more about ourselves every day! It is truly amazing.

In May, I interviewed with a well-established computer consulting company in Montana. The president of the company interviewed me one day and offered me the job the same week. I have been with them since the end of May as an account manager. This week, I was promoted to the Branch Manager of the Bozeman office. I cannot express to you how exciting this is or how much this means to me. I have been wanting to manage an office for years and they feel I have the skills to manage and grow the Bozeman branch. It will be a challenge, but I have two great men to work with me (my technicians) and the management staff who support us are really committed to our success. I am looking forward to what lies ahead in 2008.

Shortly after I took this new job, I received some shocking news. One of my dearest friend's husbands (a friend of mine, too) had been tragically killed in a motorcycle accident. I was a bridesmaid in their wedding. I was there the day they met. I could not believe it! I was devastated. He was taken from us all too soon. I have been supporting my friend these past six months. I have been working through my own grief also. We talk about him often, because she needs to and because we need to. He was the love of her life. I don't think you ever "get over" the loss of someone like this. I don't know, but I do know that it changes you.

In June, I decided to take matters into my own hands and I hired a personal trainer. Shauna has been an amazing support to me and taught me to be accountable and helped me become so much healthier, despite on-going health issues. I have learned to make exercise a part of my life and daily schedule, just like any meeting and put myself and my health first and I am reaping the benefits of my persistence and new habits. I feel so much better. I highly recommend using a personal trainer. This approach has really changed my attitude and my level of motivation, especially when I am being challenged by a flare-up or my body is retaliating. Shauna is my cheerleader and coach in the gym. I let the Lord take care of the rest.

I still have some serious issues with my knees, but I have had problems for years and I have learned to work within my limitations to be as healthy as I can be. My migraines are less and I am pushing myself to become consistent with the exercise that best suits my body. I know that I am not the one in control- the Lord is and He will not give me more that I can handle.

For Labor Day this year, I had some friends come up from Texas for a fun-filled weekend of adventures. I hiked for the first time since my two knee surgeries- YAY! We spent a day at our friend, Mike’s place, and played horseshoes, ate BBQ’d food off the grill and just relaxed. Mike owns a beautiful cabin on a few acres in the heart of the woods outside of Bozeman. His neighbor is a children’s author with an amazing home with spectacular views. Mike and Ben built horseshoe pits on top of the mountain in the forest between their two places. It was a great place to throw shoes. The highlight to that day, though, was Ben’s unique pet, a 650+ pound Minnesota black bear named Buffy. Ben has had Buffy since he was a cub. Ben was called and asked if he would take Buffy and raise him when he was little. Ben has an amazing home for Buffy and is the only “parent” Buffy has ever known. Ben would let Buffy out in the evenings to roam the mountain side like any other domesticated animal. Buffy is an old bear with a cataract and he is minus his front canines. He also has an affinity for animal crackers, which we all found out when we fed him. This bear was amazing! He played with Ben- put his head on Ben’s lap like he was a dog, even ate peanuts out of his hand. I have never seen such a sight! And we quietly watched in awe. I will never forget that day.

On Monday, we went up to Big Sky and rode the ski lift up the mountain. I don’t ski, so I wanted to see what it was like and take some pictures of the area from the top. It was a gorgeous day so the photos were awesome. Then, on the way back down the lift, I decided to take a photo of my friend and this crazy underwear tree near the lift and watched my purse go sliding off the ski lift and land on the ground below us. Fortunately, because we were near this icon, they knew where to look for my purse. We ended up having them send personnel on four wheelers to retrieve it. They said they had never had that happen before. Go figure.

In September, my Grandma and Uncle David made a stop in Montana on their trip to Washington for my uncle’s 60th Birthday. I treasure every minute I get to spend with family, but especially my Grandma because she has been my hero and mentor for years. She is wealth of knowledge and I love to listen to her share stories and tell jokes. My time with them was short, but so special!

I have been blessed this year with my personal successes and big changes and my family has had several also. Jeff took a new (awesome) job as a Vice President of Facilities for Four Winds Resort and moved his family to Michigan. This was a big move for Jeff, as he manages 250+ people. This resort truly values his expertise int the field and both Jeff and Mel love the new little town they live in. Karen sold the farm (literally) and moved her and Danny, who is now a senior in high school, in with her boyfriend, Tom and his family. Tom has kids that are close to Danny’s age also, so now they are one big, happy family. I am so happy for them. Becky, my niece, graduated valedictorian of her class and went off to college this fall. I am so proud! And, I can’t believe I have a niece in college! Sue, although retired from the military still contracts back to them but now gets to enjoy more time pursuing her prowess as an amateur caterer for friends’ parties and office gatherings. Dave was supposed to be deployed to Iraq, but luckily was not. We have been blessed by his reprieve. Steve had a big year. Steve officially adopted Connor in April. Steve and Angie were then blessed with the birth of Arilyn Olivia Clay on November 29th. She was 7lbs. and 19.5 inches. She is beautiful. Mom, Dad and the Macy dog are all still living in Helena. Mom and Dad are enjoying the birth of their latest grandchild (you know how Mom loves babies). Dad is still hunting and he now has the help of Macy. Macy has Mom and Dad trained just the way she likes them.

In October, we as a family, were rocked to the core with the tragic death of our cousins at a world wide horse show in Madison, Wisconsin. A faulty heater malfunctioned in the middle of the night and put out too much carbon monoxide. It was so sad. This was my father's cousin, his wife and their two granddaughters. Devere was a renowned horseman in the world of Clydesdale breeders. Such an unnecessary loss.

On a good note, November was filled with a nice Thanksgiving with family, the birth of my niece and some time off from work. And then December. We were joined by some friends from Texas again, had some good times and them Christmas was upon us. It was Arilyn's first Christmas. She did the same thing as the rest of us. Ate, slept etc.

Today is December 31. I feel like I have had an amazing 2007. There have been some sad times. There were some tough times, but this year has been a year of incredible growth and change for me. I am happier and healthier. 2008 here I come!

Christmas

Christmas was really nice this year. This is the first Christmas in a very long time that I can remember where I have not been sick or suffered from a migraine. I am not really sure why, but I can guess that it is because I am so much happier with my life these days and am healthier. The Lord has been good to me this past year!

Christmas eve I spent making the circuit. First I went over to my friend's parents house and then I went to my brother's. Both were nice. I attended church and sang with the choir at the candlelight service. After church, I went back to my friend's to play some game's. We had a blast. We laughed until I had tears running down my face.

On Christmas Day, Mom and Dad came down and we opened presents, relaxed and had Christmas dinner. Macy was all sorts of curious about Arilyn (my new baby niece.) Basically, she wanted to know who was getting all of her attention. I spent time running around chasing my nephew and shooting him with his new nerf tommy dart gun and then he proceeded to beat us all at the game of LIFE. He always wins! It was an awesome day. I had a wonderful holiday.

Dear Santa (revised)

Dear Santa,

All I want for Christmas is:

World Peace
A on-going RX of Percocet and valium
A new body
A man (preferably alive - baggage is negotiable)

Love,
Julie

Dear Santa

Dear Santa,

All I want for Christmas is:
World Peace
2 new knees
An arm that works
Laser eye surgery
60 pounds of fat loss
A man without baggage

Love,
Julie

Fruitcakelady

This lady really does take the cake. . .

Happy Holidays or Merry Christmas?

If I am not mistaken, the reason for the season is the birth of Jesus Christ, hence Christmas. For some reason, we have a faction of people in this country who are screaming loud enough now that they have pushed to make this just another "holiday". A what? I don't care if you are not Christian or don't believe in God, that is your business. Then don't celebrate Christmas, but do understand that the United States of America was founded upon RELIGIOUS principles. Yes, folks, that is right. Check the history books. So, if you don't like Christmas, fine, but 90% of the US population does, so deal with it because you are in the minority and you came to a country that was built upon a religious foundation. You can have your Holiday, too. What I have a problem with is dumbing down Christmas because a few people have screamed, "This religious holiday offends me." Then go back to where you came from because it has been this way in this country for over 200 years and the rest of us like our Christmas with Christ in it!

Quote for the Day

"Never apologize for showing feeling. When you do so, you apologize for truth."
– Benjamin Disraeli

Off the Grid

I have been out of town this past week working in Helena and had very limited access to email so I have not been posting. It was a great week! I enjoyed making some good contacts and meeting some new friends. Now I need to catch up on reading my personal email and read the news online. I have really been out of touch.

Strollin' Strollin' Strollin'

Last night was the annual Christmas Stroll in Bozeman so we bundled ourselves up in our cold weather gear and headed downtown for the festivities with the rest of Bozeman. It was a nice evening, but as predicted, COLD! It was only 10 degrees above zero and we were outside walking up and down 4 blocks voluntarily for 3 hours. I know, I think we are crazy, too.

I am a Rock Star!

Ok, so maybe not, but I learned to play Guitar Hero III this past week and it was so freakin' hysterical! My nine-year-old nephew was assisting me with the tutorials and he was obviously frustrated with my lack of ability to catch on as quickly as he did. I was challenged by the entire concept at first, but I gave it my all. I chose Poison's "Talk Dirty To Me" for my first rock anthem and I was determined to strum my way to victory. Unfortunately, I was having difficulty with the timing of the strumming and remembering where my fingers were placed and adding the whammy bar- ok one thing at a time- folks. I am a beginner. As I said, my nephew was impatient with me not being able to just play and do it all right away, like I should be a rock star without practice. Lucky for me, after I massacred my first song, I decided to turn the guitar back over to him so he could show me how it was done. After he played for me and showed me up, I decided I can do this. I was better than that crazy video game and I chose Kiss's, "I Wanna Rock and Roll All Night." I doubled my percentage! WHEWHOOO!!!! I am a rock star now! Ok. like I said, maybe not, but I can see how this game is addicting. BTW- This photo is from something else, but I could not resist!

HO HO HO

As I was driving to work this morning I heard a radio broadcast regarding Santa Claus and his use of "HO HO HO" and how it scares children. The only thing scary about "HO HO HO" is that we are so caught up in a machine that we are now going to pick at everything in society we can until there is no joy left. I can't tell you how idiotic this sounded when the broadcaster said it because it was beyond my ability to articulate, but I can tell you this. As intelligent people, we better start thinking about what we aren't doing and who is fueling these stupid studies and yelling enough to be heard by the general population. A study can be so easily misrepresented by the media and we typically just listen to what we hear on the radio or see on the news because no one refutes this crap. This "HO HO HO" scenario is just another example of some psychologist or sociologist trying to make a name for himself and using the mass media to prey upon a generation of people who are bullied by scare tactics.

The long awaited arrival

Welcome to the world, my dear child. You are precious and beautiful, innocent and new. With loving arms we hold you. Our eyes glisten with tears of joy and excitement. We are truly blessed by your arrival.

Baby, baby oh where is the Baby?

Well, still no baby yet. We are hoping any praying that little Miss Arilyn will join us sometime today. Labor is progressing slowly, but it is progressing. . .

She makes us wait

Well, my niece is already being stubborn by staying inside until she is darn good and ready to make her final exit. My poor sister-in-law started having contractions yesterday evening and is still having them. She is not in false labor, but she is progressing very slow. Miss Arilyn has decided to arrive on her schedule at her own pace regardless of how tired Mom and everyone else are now. We all had minimal sleep last night and Angie can't sleep while she is having contractions so she is really tired. Come on little girl- get a move on and come one out. We are waiting to greet you with open arms!

I don't understand

It is really late and I am really tired, but I still wanted to get something out for the day. I am having a difficult time understanding a few situations in my life right now. I am thoroughly confused. I continue to pray every night about them and hope that the Lord will guide me to an answer.

Monday, Monday Reflections

Here we are, the Monday after a big holiday weekend. It was a good weekend and I posted several times. I find myself now as we head into the last month of 2007 starting to reflect on the year and events past. This was a big year for me. I have made many changes in my life and I am moving in a different direction now. I made new friends, strengthened old friendships, and even had some people leave. But I am happier, healthier and stronger now. Life is good!

Perspectives and Perception

I think what makes us interesting and different people is that we all possess our own unique perspective on life. We see everything through our lens. At the same time, it is what can cause conflict among even good friends if we don't see situations the same or don't agree. I believe that many people possess the ability to be rational and reasonable about seeing other people's perspectives, but there are some who refuse to see both sides because they operate under the principle that everything is either black or white - period. Unfortunately, I see this number growing in this country today. These people are more difficult to debate points of politics, discuss different religions, or even seek advice from simply because of the fact that no middle ground exists for them in the way they view a situation.

I understand this person well, as I used to be like this. I really did not see any gray area in many things around me and to this day, I still don't when it comes to certain business situations or when it comes to morality. I do understand that my perspective is mine and may not be shared, though and that is something that I have learned to consider and really tried to incorporate in my life. For me, I have grown to the point in my life where being right isn't as important as understanding the situation and realizing the implications of all that is involved. Granted, it is important to understand that in the heat of the moment of any passionate discussion or debate, being full of clarity is not always a person's strongest characteristic, including my own, but I am someone who can and will concede to an opponent's better points in a discussion, or if needs be, apologize if a discussion rises to the level of an argument and it becomes necessary, due to my actions, extend an olive branch. I know that I have a tendency to overreact in some cases, especially those where my character is being personally attacked instead of the focus being on the situation. Human nature would dictate this to be true of a decent number of people. No one enjoys hearing about what is wrong with them versus what they are doing and that is a fine line that many of us walk during heated discussions. Keeping a discussion focused and not letting it become an all out assault on each other when emotions are involved is up to the individuals in the discussion. It takes people with strong character and good judgment to not derail a discussion. This is harder spoken than executed. I know that it is very difficult for me if someone says something to me and I hear it differently than they meant it, then the fine line he or she might have been walking will have been crossed whether they meant to or not. Intent and perception are two very different things. For me, crossing that line is not acceptable and depending on how far over they went or what was said, I will react and my perception of that situation will change.
Reacting is not the best way to handle anything. Of course, I know this; you know this; most people realize this in their minds. Realizing it and being able to stop it from happening when you are in the middle of a situation are not the same. Any time you are heavily emotionally involved in a situation, you are more likely to over-react and maybe unfavorably if your feelings have been hurt. I can't tell you how many times I have done this. I can tell you that now that I am older and wiser, I am getting better at not over-reacting, better, but still not perfect and unfortunately still doing it from time-to-time. That doesn't mean I am still not reacting. I know for me, this is going to be a life-long challenge to keep my emotions in check when I am discussing subjects that I am extensively emotionally invested in and have strong opinions about. I know that I am going to have to work at it all the time and count to ten more often.

I know who I am emotionally. My perspective is not easily changed and perception is very dangerous, especially if I don't read a situation correctly. It happens. And for me, I find it happens more frequently during electronic correspondence where there is no eye contact or chance to read body language and hear tone of voice. There is so much chance for misinterpretation in email, IM and text messaging. I know I have to be very careful and not try to assume anything. Again, another concept that is easier said than done. On the other hand, the more I am challenged with situations, the more I find myself knowing the work I need to do to continue to grow and to gain a greater, more universal perspective. It is a good thing to learn from past mistakes.

I know I may not always agree with people and they may not agree with me, but I hope that our opinions whether they are different or not, can be shared constructively and that we each can grow from our experiences when dealing with changing perception and gaining new perspectives.

Playing Catch up

After spending a day in what could be defined as a completely vegetative state, I now need to actually be productive for the weekend and get my house in order. I am enjoying my four day weekend very much. When I get real down time that is not because I have a migraine or am ill, I really like to just relax and sometimes to the extreme. LOL. But, I do have laundry to do, dishes to wash and bed linen to change. And I don't want to head into these next few weeks before the holidays with my house in disarray. So, that is my challenge today - motivation to get the needed chores done.

The Friday After

Today is the largest shopping day of the year (supposedly). I find it the perfect day to stay inside and recover from Turkeyfest 2007. I am have become less of a fan of shopping especially during the holidays when the stores are overcrowded and people seem to forget their manners. I find myself online shopping more and more and giving my favorite, the gift card -easy to purchase and leaving the gift choice to the recipient. YAY!.

So, today is a day for arm chair resting, feet up, hot baths and take out food delivered to my door - true indulgence. Hope yours is too.

Happy Thanksgiving!

On today, the day we set aside to give thanks, I would like to say thank you to all of our troops. These men and women are to be commended for the sacrifice they make every day so that we as Americans can enjoy our freedom.

Another note of thanks to our teachers, those who care-give, nurses, etc. Your job is more a giving of yourself and touches lives daily.

I want to say thank you for all of the blessings in my life - my incredible friends and family and all that I have. My cup runneth over. . .

Parlez-vous Francais?

Okay, I should have typed something in Spanish or Arabic or even Japanese, but it just so happens that I took 6 years of French. What was I thinking? Oh yeah. I remember. I live near Canada. I was not at all thinking when I was 12 years old that at 33 years old I would need to be bilingual in my own country of origin in order to function if I visit states that border Mexico. I am really at a loss that I did not have the forethought to think I would need to enroll in Spanish class over French class for those reasons. I just liked French better, despite the fact the majority of my good friends were in Spanish. Even then, I was a rebel. Now, I am just a patriot.
Is it just me or did someone forget what country this is? Am I not in the United States of America? Were we not founded by settlers who came over from England (native language English)? My point is when did America stop being about Americans? I can't even tell you how pissed off I am these days about all of the people that are fighting for the rights of illegal aliens and the oppressed and telling the rest of Americans that we are evil and unpatriotic because we want to keep our rights OURS! When did it become bad to be protective of the civil liberties that were ours to begin with? I know how wonderful it is to live here in the US- I live here! And if someone wants to live here that was not born here, then he or she needs to do it the old fashioned way. Cheating and coming into this country illegally is WRONG and is not fair to those who did it the right way. And the more people who support this, the more this country is going to suffer- financially and socially! We are in trouble. We are perpetuating a problem that we are not going to be able to fix if we don't stop and face the reality of the situation. We have been too nice for too long and our government isn't getting the job done! Wake up America before America is no longer yours!

What constitutes "looking?"

I was discussing the subject of relationships with a married friend and she told me that I need to stop looking and just let "love" happen. God bless my married friends as I love them all dearly, but what kind of B.S. is that? I am in my mid-thirties and the "wait and see" approach has not really worked for me thus far. I can't help but sound a little jaded with that statement, but waiting around for Prince Charming to come and sweep me into his arms so we can ride off into the sunset in his pick-up truck is a little too fairytale even for me. I love a good romance as much as the next woman, but I am not living in a romance novel and so far, this story is not a perfect love affair with 12 chapters and a happy ending with turtle doves, a white dress and wedding cake. I guess I no longer believe that love appears to a person out of nowhere one day, at least, not for me.

I have reached that point in my life where I think that person that I plan to spend my days and nights with will be someone who I already know or have met in passing and then get to know on a much deeper level, leading to the relationship that I have been looking for. That sounds strange to many, because so many bank on spontaneity and attraction for a good relationship. I don't discount these things. I need to be attracted to someone, but I want a solid foundation for my romantic relationships, one built on friendship, loyalty, trust, humor and respect. So, I figure I am going to have to put the work in to find someone and be proactive. Sitting around doing nothing and hoping he will find me is a surefire way to remain a lonely heart.

Education Lottery

I was having lunch with a colleague recently and we were catching up on each other's personal lives when he told me that he was commuting between here and Bend, Oregon because that is where his wife and daughter now live so she can attend a good school. He then proceeded to explain that due to the way Bozeman handles enrollment, they had ended up with their 6th choice for a school for their daughter. I listened intently about this entire situation as I have pretty passionate views regarding our entire education system in the United States today. Needless to say, I was amazed that Bozeman had progressed or rather regressed to this system of lottery for choice of schools. In case you don't understand the lottery concept, instead of traditional districting where you attend the school according where you live according to geographical boundary lines, Bozeman public schools, after several other systems have gone to a lottery where each parent submits six choices of schools for his/her student and then they will end up where the chips fall. There are exceptions for several items: if you live within 1 mile of the school; if you have a sibling attending the school of choice already and special needs (something like this.) I may not have my facts completely accurate here regarding the exceptions, but you understand the concept.

I can't believe that a town that claims to be as progressive as Bozeman would run their educational system in a lottery. As you can see, money talks and it speaks pretty loudly in this area. It is really sad that children are being carted around for miles and miles because no one seems to understand the concept of attending schools built near their homes. As it was explained to me, there are schools that are much better than others in regards to standardized test scores and teacher reputation (obviously). Then would it not make sense to concentrate on making the sub-standard schools better? And where do the parents take responsibility for their children's education- not by pushing it on the teachers only, but by being and active parent in the process?

My brother and sister-in-law told me that my nephew's class had a homework assignment that involved a book reading that the parents needed to sign off each night for a month. Only TWO parents out of 28 bothered to participate and sign their children's homework for the teacher. If parents are so concerned, maybe they should be involved and stop manipulating the education system for their convenience and start being a part of the solution, not creating more problems.

And regarding my colleague, before you misread my post, I don't begrudge him for taking his family to where he feels he can get a better education for his child. He does not want to be a part of what I feel is an education machine so he removed them from the situation. This was his way of dealing with this problem. I just used what happened to him as a springboard for discussion of this topic. Bozeman's education system is in dire need of some intervention for everyone's sake, but especially the student's because ultimately, they pay the price.

What is your number?

Don't you think there should be a ranking system where are all given a number between 1 and 10 that tells us what dating level we are so we know who we can date? A friend of mine was telling me a comedian did a whole bit on this very subject and he (the comedian) even went so far as to say that after we are assigned our appropriate rankings, then we should carry an ID card with that number. If you were ranked a "7", then you can date either a "6" or an "8" and so on. Truth be told, I don't think this comedian is too far off base. I think he may have this whole dating thing right on the money.

I am so tired of listening to men bitch about not being able to find a woman to date. Women are not the problem. I have seen many a man try to date outside of his "number" range. If you are wondering why the hell you are single and can't get laid by anything other than your own hand, try asking yourself if you are a "6" and going after "9's". If you know you are not a "9" and keep pursuing them, then quit your bitching unless of course your are a "6" with a 10 inch dick and make $500,000 per year.

Yes, men, unfortunately, it is true. 90% of women are money grubbing whores. At the same time, if you don't have the big dick and bank account to match, then go to K-mart and buy yourself a frickin' clue! If you are not dating the women you want to be then look in the mirror and see what the #$%@ the problem is. And, if you are sure that there is nothing wrong with you, McLovin, then SHUT UP because you are obviously not willing to change anything so don't expect different results. Oh and if you are so wonderful, then the ladies should be a-flocking.

Why so harsh, you might ask? Because I have NO patience for men or women who blame everyone but themselves for their lives, for men who think that women are the only reason they don't have a decent relationship or women who think that all men are assholes. It works both ways. No single sex is responsible for their problems. We both contribute. I just see women willing to accept men's imperfections (regardless of the reasons why) more often than men. Men generally hold women to a higher standard of physical appearance. Women tend to be more forgiving about men's physical imperfections.

Either way, if we held to a ranking system, we might save ourselves a little disappointment. It sounds idealistic and maybe even cruel, but at least all of the cards would be on the table.

Out or in?

So, the porn legend Ron Jeremy is in town to perform his comedy show. He is appearing at our local strip joint. I am quite amused by the whole thing. I thought about attending, but my social calendar is quite full this weekend, strangely enough. I have multiple invitations for Friday evening and am scheduled to work Saturday evening until 9pm. Sunday I am volunteering to be a "victim" for an EMT class. Before anyone decides to comment on that, don't. I thought I would be nice and help out a friend with her final exam. The irony is hysterical considering my past history of maladies. I should make a good test subject.

I have been going out every weekend for the past several weeks and as much as I typically like to be out and be a social butterfly, I like to hibernate at home also. The older I become, the more I enjoy the cozy, curl-up at home time. It goes in cycles for me. And if I have had a long week, sometimes I will want to blow off steam, and others I will want to do nothing more than go home, get into some sweats and watch six episodes of 24. What can I say? I am not 21 anymore. And that is a good thing for me.

I am alive

It has been so long since I posted so I thought I would just write a quick one saying I am still alive and kicking! I have had a great summer and am really trying to get back into posting on here regularly. I have some great stories to tell and funny pics to post, but I have run out of time to get to it all. Anyway, stay tuned. . .

Life Lesson

As we grow older in life, we find out who our friends really are and who is going to be around for the duration. Sometimes, this is not a fun lesson to learn, but a much needed one for us to be able to truly grow as a person. I have discovered that just because you know someone for a long time does not mean that they will be your friend forever. Our ideals and morals can change and as we mature and become who we really are, some people in our lives don't really understand our nature or character, especially if they knew us as children or have known us for many years. Sometimes, these friends are the ones who have a hard time accepting when we change or don't recognize changes because they only see who they knew, not who we have become.
It can be sad to lose a friend to diverging paths in life, but I think it is far worse to be friends with someone who does not understand you as a person and criticizes your life in hopes of your changing it for the better. It is one thing to talk to a friend whose life choices are detrimental to his or her well-being; it is another to tell him or her that he or she is has no regard for others and basically runs over the people around them in the whirlwind they call an existence.
Take it from me, I live a semi-charged, dramatic life that is touched by the occasional crisis with some craziness for flavor, but it works. That is my normal. I am fine. It has taken me years to get here and I am happier than I have been in a long time. My life has less stress, more fun, and my friends and family are not being swept up in the Julie-cyclone daily. This was not an easy task. But, NO ONE could have led me here. I had to figure out that I had the issues I did and work them out myself. I had to decide I needed to make some major changes in my life to be happier including changing careers (sort of), adding a regular exercise regimen, eating healthy 98% of the time, and surrounding myself with the right people. I did not have a friend criticize me and tell me I needed to change to initiate the process. I am not in rehab.
I know there have been some casualties of mi vida loca over the years and for that, I am sorry, but I can't say that I can change the past. None of us can. I can only move forward knowing I have created some incredible positive changes and that I have kept the friends that wanted to be here because they were accepting of me through my growth process and I thank the Lord every day for their forgiveness and His Grace!

What do Women Want?

Well if that is not a loaded question, I don't know what is. Today, I was talking with a friend of mine and he asked me that question. He also qualified it by stating "not only what 'you' want, but women." So, I took that he wanted a "generally speaking" answer. I threw him back a "Women want the fricken fairy tale." He laughed and asked me if I could be more specific.
Ok. How about this? Women want to be swept off their feet (even though half the population won't admit it.) They really do want a man who is like Prince Charming in most senses of the definition. And, I am not talking about the Shrek definition of Prince Charming either. I am talking about the real deal. Women really do want a man who is polite, respectful, romantic and manly all at the same time. He also has to be dashing, confident and bold. (Are you getting the picture of a man that does not exist?) Sometimes I think women to want this entire package. The truth is most women would be happy with even half that if the right combination was there. And then again, maybe not. There are really picky women and then there are women who only play by some stupid set of rules and then there are women who are trying to figure out what they want out of life and relationships are a sidebar. Men, if you are trying to figure out what a woman is looking for in you, there isn't a straight-forward simple answer.

If there was, don't you think we would all be in happy, functional relationships by now?

ARRRGGGHHHHHHH!

I had a subscription to one of those online dating sites for about a year. I cancelled it because it proved to be worthless to me. I was matched with a decent number of men, but they were so far away that the majority of them closed them before we ever started any communication. Many of them felt the physical distance was too great to even start something. OK. Fine. I can see the challenges in long distance; I have been down that road before and it was not fun. But, I have many more complaints about this online dating site. For something that touts compatibility as its factor, this is no different than any of the other dating sites. It is just an online meat market. And falling in love? Puh-lease!! I may eat my words about this some day, but not likely. I just think that there are too many people who misrepresent themselves on these things and too many people who are unrealistic (I started this way) when it comes to online dating.

My beef with this site is that it markets itself as being different when really it is not. My experience was the men were still the same because MEN ARE MEN! And, to be honest, I am not begrudging the men for it. I blame this site for even marketing the idea that as humans we are different than we fundamentally are. And to be fair, WOMEN ARE WOMEN, so to claim that we are not and that you can match someone based on a list of factors is hogwash. I would love to think that we as humans have evolved to intellectual relationship building, but we are not there yet. We are first and foremost creatures of biology and that starts with pheromones and basic human attraction. Everyone has different levels to which they function - meaning attraction may be instant or for some build over time. And then you have chemistry. Chemistry is a combination of many factors including physical attraction.

So, there you have it. The problem with online dating using only compatibility matching. Unfortunately, the concept is too evolved and Utopian for creatures like us. And I am not saying it does not work for some either. There have been success stories, but those people are not the majority and they have moved beyond traditional thinking. Kudos. They also must have really found a person that sparked their interest on a fundamental level or they would not have even continued the process.

You Irritate Me!

Everyone has at least one. Some people refer to them as their arch nemesis. I would say it is that person in your life who just pushes your buttons. You hear that new age BS about no one can do anything to you that you don't let them and I believe that to an extent, but sometimes people just plain piss you off. There is no getting around it and there are certain people who have a knack for it. They are just better at hitting your "PRESS HERE TO SEND ME INTO MEGA-IRRITATED MODE" button. In our group, there are four of us that have this nuance - two guys and two girls. It is ironic, too. The guys tend to irritate the women more often than the other way around. (Isn't that funny?) And to be even more entertaining, when one of the guys is irritating one of us gals, he won't be on the other gals nerves, too (at least in most situations.) We just pass the who is annoyed at who button around so there is harmony in the group the majority of the time. We are not as dysfunctional as we sound. (OK, we are, but it is normal.) We are human. For the most part, we all just get along. It is the times when we are poking fun at each other and someone decides to tow the line or one of us has decided to blame the other's gender for one individual's sins that things can get a little ugly for that moment. I think it is called being good friends. . .

More Changes

I have written several posts on here about making some major life changes over the past couple of months. It was time for me to take stock in my life and write a few new chapters. This past month I ended up writing a shorter one. This was not anticipated. After deciding to work in Alzheimer's patient care, I have had to make another change. Unfortunately, after two major knee surgeries and several car accidents, my body decided to not cooperate with my choice in careers. I ended with a trip to the orthopedic doctor praying I did not injure my knee again only to find out that thankfully I did not, but he strongly recommended that I discontinue my work in this field. I was very upset. This job means a lot to me. I am hoping to still work a few hours per month every once and awhile because that amount I can handle.

So, I am back to work in sales again. I am fine with that. I am still planning to devote time to volunteer work through the church and am going to get involved with the Chamber of Commerce. I want to give as much time as I can to non-work related activities. Another journey begins. . .

Off Limits for Life?

I have been mulling this subject over recently more and more and my opinion on it seems to be evolving. I used to think that if I was good friends with a married couple and they split up that dating these people was off-limits to our group of friends. It is just too messy and too hard for all involved. I have discussed this with several of my friends and we have varying opinions. I also said that dating within one's circle is a bad idea, but that is an idealistic view. I will admit that, especially if you have a group of friends like we do that is like the tv show, "Friends." Most of us are in are in our 30's, fun-loving, some singles, some married, and we have some common hobbies that tie us all together.

So, with a group of friends like this, I really have in the past felt very strongly about dating each other and the said consequences and dating people after someone splits up, be that a long-term relationship or a marriage. I think that my opinions on these two subjects have come from watching peoples lives turned upside down just with their break-ups and divorces and the impact it has on the relationships of everyone in their lives. Out of respect for all involved I have always felt it was better to keep the lines of friendship clearly drawn even after a split.

Regardless, we as humans don't live in a vacuum when it comes to attraction and feelings. In simpler terms, or a cliche, you can't help who you fall for. I think this is the bigger issue. Just because you have good intentions and don't want to like someone doesn't mean that will always be the case. I appreciate my friends who have shared their opinions on this subject because it really helped me take a deeper look and realize that I could say anything I wanted about these friends being "off limits" but in reality it was probably just too unrealistic of a idea.

I don't know if this situation will ever arise, but at least I have a better idea now that I need to examine it differently if it does. I have re-examined my thoughts on dating within the circle also, but that is another post. . .

Eating Healthy Costs $$$$

I don't know about you, but I have been trying to eat well or better for awhile now and it is rather irritating that the cost of doing so is significantly more than bingeing on twinkies and Dr. Pepper. I prefer to each fresh foods like fruits, vegetables, whole grains and lean meats. I keep the processed and pre-packaged foods to a minimum. In doing so, I end up having to shop more frequently and end up spending more money. For some reason, foods that are packed with high fructose corn syrup, white flour and sugar are cheaper. It is just so frustrating!!! And, as a friend and I were discussing earlier this evening, it seems like fruits and veggies are getting more expensive. . .Not good. I don't plan on changing my eating habits and heading back to eating poorly so I can die sooner full of clogged arteries and cancer, but I marvel at how as Americans we promote so many things that are bad for us and make them not only readily available, but less expensive than what is good and healthy. Welcome to the American Dream (capitalism).

Holding Out for a Hero

Where are they, I ask you? "Where have all the good men gone and where are all the Gods?" to quote the Bonnie Tyler hit. Over the past year, I would have said, they are gone. Gone forever, that there was not a good man left out there because they are all already taken or the rest have some unique social deformity that makes them undesirable like immature behavior or unrealistic expectations. Please realize I am half speaking tongue and cheek here, but really, it is so discouraging to see good men and women stay single because they can't seem to make a love connection. And for what reason?

I am not sure these days. I guess I think it is because we as humans are so ridiculously picky about our romantic relationships. I know I am. And you want to know the funny thing? I will accept the most annoying characteristics and flaws in my friends that they can possibly exhibit, but when it comes to the man of my dreams, FORGET IT! He has to be damn near perfect.

Ok, not really, but it seems that way for many of us. Why is that? Why will we let so many things slide with our friends but not with that one person, the one that means everything? Is it because they mean everything? Is it because that level of trust is supposed to be higher than that of any other with our sig figs? Is it the intimacy that dictates the need for perfection?

I don't know any of the answers. I just know that there are decent single men and women who can't seem to find their way to each other. Take for example my group of friends- there are a number of us who are single and we are all great people, but not right for each other for a number of reasons. You could ask each of us to make a list (of excuses/reasons) why each one of us is not dating each other. (We put the "dys" in dysfunctional.) I think each of us knows what our individual issues are. Whether we are willing to admit them or not, is another whole story and hence, we stay single . . .

Reflection

I have been doing a lot of thinking lately about a variety of things. I guess you could say I have been taking stock of everything in my life. At first, this was very subconscious, and then this process became mandatory and conscious. Now, I am happy to go through and make the necessary changes that have recently come about in my life. The journey to this place was interesting and at times even painful, but I am now in a happier place overall.

It is funny in a way because this weekend marks my ten year anniversary of my college graduation. Thinking back, I remember having a ten-year plan for my life and although I have created a nice life for myself and had a successful career in sales up to this point, my ten-year plan went out the window many years ago. It is good that it was only a plan, sketched in pencil and not carved in stone. Nothing is written in stone these days and I am thankful for that. Change can be good, even if there are aspects of the change that are difficult because most often growth comes out of the change.

So, from this reminiscing I found myself thinking about what my life would be like if I had taken a different path. I have spent ten years focusing on my career, putting my professional life before my personal life. I have developed a great resume, but this has left my social life lacking. I can't say I regret any of it, either. I have learned so much in the past ten years from my experiences and the people who mentored me. I also learned about myself. It is amazing what life will teach us if we are open to learning.

My reflection has brought me to a calm place, to one of new beginnings and chapters unwritten, to a new ten year plan. I am thankful for the opportunity to look forward to the next ten years to choose to prioritize my life differently.

Catch up

So Friday was my last day of work at my sales job and now I am full time at the care facility. I have already been training this past week so now this weekend I have been trying to play catch up with housework etc. I have not really wanted to do much since I worked Saturday all day, but my house is in dire need of a cleaning and major organizing. I hate to admit it, but I have gotten behind and now I need some time unwind, relax, take a deep breath and then really dig in and overhaul this place. I guess you could say a real spring cleaning is in order! So, that is what is on my agenda.

New Beginnings

I have not posted for a very long time and much is changing or has changed. I am closing a chapter in my life and starting a new one. I have finally made the move to make a major life change and leave my "corporate" job to work in a job that helps people. I am feeling such a calling from the Lord to give back now. Today was my first day at that new job. I am working in personal care with Alzhemier's patients. It is hard work. I expected it to be and it was. I also found myself thinking that as humans I don't think we ever know what we are truly capable of doing until we are challenged to do it. When I talked to my mom after the work day was over, I told her, "I bet you never thought I would be cleaning bathrooms and changing people's Depends." "No, No, I did not." But we all grow and change and go where the Lord leads us.

Zha Zha Zoo

I want to clear up some confusion regarding the definition of chemistry from my Shallow Hal post. The guy I was referring to used that term in our brief online interlude so to maintain the integrity of it, I presented it back in my story. Unfortunately, I would not define what he was looking for as "chemistry." In his mind, maybe that is what it is, but for many chemistry involves more. But before I can define chemistry, I need to talk about physical attraction. Some people interchange these two concepts or believe they are the same.

Physical attraction is simply being drawn to someone because of their physical appearance. Looking at physical attraction on the most basic level means a person likes someone else solely based upon the shape of their body, the color of their skin, the length of their hair, the color of their eyes and so on. Whether we realize this or not, this attraction is sexual in nature. We are attracted to someone because of the hormonal response our bodies have to them.

Chemistry isn't quite so tangible. Chemistry is a combination of many things. Now let me explain it. What is chemistry? The way she touches your arm and you feel it everywhere. The way he kisses you and you go weak in the knees. The way he looks at you and you both are ready to leave the party without speaking a single word. The way you finish each other's sentences because you know what the other person is thinking.
Before someone accuses me of reading too many corny romance novels, sit down, shut up and listen. Chemistry is about passion. Chemistry is about connection. Chemistry is about lust. It is about all of those things and many more that I can't even put into words. For many, you know when you have it and you know when you don't. It is almost indefinable, but not quite.

Some say you can be physically attracted to someone and end up not having chemistry. Now before anyone jumps on me and says that is just utter BS, stop and think about this. You might find a person attractive but there just might not being any zha zha zoo. I have seen it happen. Everything is there. Two great people. The kissing has begun and one of them ends up not feeling it.

Here is my point on chemistry. Most people need physical attraction to have a relationship. I am not arguing that; attraction is key. But, chemistry, that is something that most can't figure out without some time, some interaction, a few dates, some coffee maybe a movie or two and maybe even that amazing first kiss to see if it's there. And if you are simplifying physical attraction as chemistry, this might be your problem as these concepts are not one in the same.

Shallow Hal?

I met this guy last week in what is now a conventional way (the Internet) to meet people. We emailed back and forth a few times and then proceed to the high speed form of interaction, Instant Messenger. He had a picture posted on his MySpace so I knew what he looked like. During the course of our emailing and finally our IM'ing no less then three times he requested pics of me claiming he was a "visual" person. Do understand we met with premise of dating online. I don't begrudge him wanting to see who he is talking to, but let me tell you the rest of the story. . .

This particular guy and I exchanged TWO emails and Instant messaged ONE time. More content could have been written on a beverage napkin. I sent him a picture during our IM conversation. Right before I did, we had started a discussion where I had asked him what he was looking for in a relationship. He would not answer that question until he saw my picture! OK. Again, I understand wanting to see who you are talking to, but don't you think that this is a little over the top here? I mean really, withholding the answer to a question that you basically answered on your MySpace because you don't know what the woman on the other side of your IM looks like?

In one way, I admire this man's tenacity. He insisted on a picture early- no time wasting here. He is searching for perfection and he has to feel chemistry. For him, looking at someone is enough to produce whatever feelings he needs to have for what he describes as chemistry.

If every man can look at a photo and say, "I know I want that woman" or "She just does not do it for me", I should start batting for the other team today. Might be time for spring training now. Granted, I am no Ugly Betty, but I am not a Marilyn either.

I understand chemistry quite well; I received stellar marks in all my chemistry courses. Chemistry between humans is built upon these basic principles. I just don't believe that you can base it on a picture and a picture alone and I never will no matter how many men act this way. (Notice the aforementioned man is still single!) If this was truly how the world worked, wouldn't more people be together or are we all just being shallow?

Tyra Banks is Not Fat!

Let's define fat, shall we? Five feet, ten inches weighing one hundred sixty three pounds is not fat! Kickin' curves that won't quit- yeah. Bootylicious - you bet. But, fat. Oh hell no! The media has made an art form out of making women think they need to be 10 feet tall and 110 pounds and that this is normal. WTF? There is a happy medium that is normal and healthy. Not everyone is tall. Not everyone is waif thin. To portray these ideals to women and not push the message that healthy is what is most important is pure ill intent. Women need to focus on having the correct BMI (body mass index) for their height, eat well and exercise regularly.

Are we ever going to see this in magazines, on tv and in the movies? Who knows? As you can see, the minute a superstar's weight creeps up beyond what society has deemed appropriate, the media watchdogs are all over it proclaiming that so-and-so is "packing on the pounds" and "blah blah blah blah." Basically, they are sending the message that you better watch you weight or we are going to blast you publicly and humiliate you if you are not perfect. I encourage women everywhere to say a big F!@# you to the media and take control their lives. Tell society that we are not willing to be driven by unrealistic standards and pressure to be model thin, that we want our young women and children to have good role models that are healthy looking and focused on fitness and wellness, not obsessed with weight!

Real people know what fat looks and feels like and we don't want our children tossing up their lunchables because some stupid bimbo on the CW who is a Size 2 is on some TV show that they watch and they think they need to look just like her to be popular. It is up to us to educate our kids to let them know what is realistic and healthy and that exercise is an important part of wellness.

I am back!

I am sorry I have not posted for a very long time, but don't despair! I am back and I have plenty to say. Stay tuned for vast amounts of fine family fun. (Ok somethings may not be appropriate for the young, but it will all be an enjoyable highly opinionated read as most blogs are.) Hold onto your hats, find a comfortable chair and get buckled in for your reading pleasure. . .

I am never wrong!

Brad was wrong about the turtles. . .

Famous Quotes and Favorite Sayings

"Find out who you are and do it on purpose." Dolly Parton

Fun with Friends

One of my friends flew back into town last night from Texas and we decided to surprise him by meeting him at the airport with a sign, his blow-up love ewe, and a giant sippy cup full of his favorite adult beverage. He had no idea we were all going to be there so it was quite entertaining and the fact the posterboard sign had pictures of a midget, a ferret and other obscure items on it really brought some funny looks from the passengers as they exited. We have pictures of us before he arrived and a group photo too, so I will try to post one later.

The weather decided not to cooperate, though, and the roads were extra nice and slippery after the snowfall yesterday. Needless to say we had a nice time gathering for drinks and dinner at the Mint with some good conversation followed by hysterical fits of laughter for dessert.

A good time was had by all.

Housekeeping

Most people who know me well know that I hate house work and that as far as priorities go, I rank it as 4567 on my list of things to do. Now don't get me wrong, I don't live in a pigpen, but I just don't list that as one of the top items on my "to do" list. Lately though, things have been changing for me and by that I mean my priorities. I have my own place now and I really am more conscientious about cleanliness. (Isn't there some irony in that one?) I am so busy that I don't have a lot of time to clean and I am finding that it absolutely drives me nuts when the house starts to get messy. And what ends up happening is I try to clean as I am getting ready to go places because I notice something needs to be done. This is a bad idea. One- I don't have the time to be doing it then and two I am really not going to do the job they way I want to at that time. What usually ends up happening is I end up late where I am going and I only get part of the way through the task I started-not so effective. This whole cycle is really starting to make me crazy. Hence, my post today. You can really tell that someone has changed when something that used to be so insignificant to them will make them late for a business meeting or a date. I have become obsessive about my living space. I don't think it is a bad thing, but I know I need to rearrange my schedule so I can be more effective with my time so the cleaning can be done when I have time, not when I am flying out the door for an important event. I have to laugh at myself now about it. It is really scary how OC I have become, but it really is not a bad thing. Two years ago, I was hardly leaving my house accept for work events and the occasional social event and my room was something that could be declared a national disaster area. Now, I could realistically have people over with 20 minutes notice. And, the only reason I would want that is to do some spot checking because I am so often not here these days that I basically leave the "big" cleaning to once per week. The rest of my house is tidy the majority of the time. You can walk through my living room and hallways etc. Because I have a bedroom and an office now, instead of being crammed in like a sardine I am staying more organized. I just have to chuckle how long it has taken for me to become this way. I really do get bothered if the dishes aren't done, if the bathroom sink is not wiped off and the floors in my house need to be vacuumed. Anyone who has known me for an extended period of time would ask me if I have a fever or if I am terminally ill. No, I just think I have come around to the dark side and am really wanting to have a nice place of my own that is reasonable clean the majority of the time. Who would of thought a tiger could change her stripes?

Sleeping Beauty Part II

So, first night in the bed was exactly as I expected. What I did not anticipated is this bed is a lot taller than my previous bed and I am really short. . .Needless to say, I had a little trouble getting into the bed. I am sure if you are reading this, you are probably thinking, how hard can it be to get in a freakin' bed? Well, mine sits on a set of drawers that are about 12 inches tall. Add to them the height of the box spring and the mattress which is a pillowtop and now I am sleeping with my nose about 2 inches from my ceiling. Ok, it is not quite that tall, but I cannot sit on it and have my feet touch the floor. (My feet dangle about 12 inches from the floor.) I actually had to get a step stool to get into my bed. I could not crawl into it or scoot my ass up on to it- nothing, nada, no way no how was this happening without some sort of extension to my height. I really do find this amusing. I could not help but get the giggles when I realized that I was either sleeping in my Lazy Boy recliner last night or I was going to have to use my kitchen step stool just to get into bed and by the looks of this, it was going to become a permanent fixture in my bedroom if I wanted to be able to get into bed without learning some sort of gymnastics. I am going to have to think about ditching the drawers and buying a bed frame and a new dresser so I am not sleeping 4 feet off the ground.

Sleeping Beauty

Well, I finally did it. I bought a new mattress set. After talking about it for almost a year, I threw in the towel and spent the money on a really good bed so I can sleep well. It was delivered today so I am really excited! No more sloping, soft, too little support leading to a night of tossing and turning only to wake up with a headache, neckache and backache. Yeah! I am sure my first few nights will be like sleeping at a hotel while I am getting used to it, but I am ready. Sleepy time.

We are there!

So, yesterday was Election Day and thank heavens! The airwaves are clear again. Montana was one of the most important states in deciding which party controlled the Senate. So many states had elections that ousted incumbents and shifted control to the Democrats. I am not sure what the future holds, but I do know that now that the election is over, everyone needs to dig in and get to work on everything they promised they would do in their campaigns. Our nation is still at war. We still have soldiers dying. We still have a national debt that is spiraling out of control. We have plenty of work to do.

Are we there yet?

With election day approaching, I find myself asking the question "Are we there yet?" more often each day. Many states are facing important races for congressional districts and state offices. Unfortunately, the mudslinging is out of control. I am hearing ads on the radio and seeing ads on TV that are so negative I am appalled. Once credible upstanding politicians are resorting to the lowest of tactics to persuade voters on this upcoming election day. What I see happening is these people taking steps down on the ladder of integrity, one rung at a time with each new negative political ad. Regardless of what these pompous advertising executives and political advisors are telling their clients, the campaigns are NOT affective now, but rather distasteful and downright irritating to voters. I would not be surprised if voter turnout is less than anticipated because of the negativity. I am struggling now to want to support any candidate regardless of my political beliefs because of the way this election has been handled. So, I am counting the days until I can check the boxes, fill in the dots etc and the airwaves will return to normal again.

Attraction

It has been awhile since I have posted anything controversial, so I thought I would throw something up here with a little food for thought. Over the past couple of weeks, several of us have been "discussing" a variety of topics relating to men and women and relationships. The battle of the sexes rages on. What is on my mind is the subject of attraction. Attraction means different things to different people, but we all seem to agree that is plays a major role in relationships. However, how major and to what degree is where the divisions start.

Attraction is defined as an, "attractive quality, magnetic charm, fascination, allurement, enticement." As individuals we are attracted to someone for different reasons. What attracts one person to someone may not attract the next person to that same individual. Attraction is completely subjective because we all have our own desires, likes and dislikes that have been shaped by our own individual experiences and perspectives. In general, men tend to be more visual then women; therefore physical attraction to a person tends to rate higher on the list of qualities for a man when searching for his ideal mate. Now, before I get blasted by everyone for that statement, please read on.

Physical attraction is important for woman also and if you ask women they will not lie and say it is not, but many woman as they get older will tell you that, yes I have to be attracted to someone in order for that relationship to work, but it is not my number ONE priority. Women are looking for caretakers and caregivers in relationships and in doing so will balance their needs to achieve their goals. Let me demonstrate my point. Take a look around you and see the couples of today. You will observe many beautiful women with men that you would not expect to see them with (I am not trying to sound like a judgmental, superficial person) but by society's standards these men should not be with these women, BUT THEY ARE! How do you think they ended up here? By luck? By chance? By the grace of God? (ok- maybe this one) NO! Because the woman chose that man for some other quality that he had that she needed and wanted even though he was not a George (Clooney) or a Brad (Pit)or a Vin Diesel in the looks department. We see this ALL the time.

Men, on the other hand, will tell you that they HAVE to be physically attracted to a woman or they can't be involved with her in a relationship. One night stands - that might be another story. For one night you can probably put up with no attraction just for sex, but why would you? What would the point be? (Oh- yes I know, TO GET LAID.) I don't disagree with the need for chemistry or physical attraction. This is understandable, but forty years from now that attraction is not what is going to be holding your relationship together anymore. Granted, it will still play a part; the other important elements in building a solid foundation in a relationship are what keep that relationship going, not just the attraction. It only takes a spark to get the fire going, but not to keep it burning. (Please don't misinterpret this as me saying you don't need to be attracted to someone to keep a relationship intact.)

I am not trying to draw a battle line between men and woman here and say that men have it all wrong and women have it all right in this department. I have yet to find anyone one who has any of this figured out. What I am saying is physical attraction is only the beginning and if we base everything on a single element, we may miss out on the right person because we cannot moved past the first step. People change, grow and evolve and someone you were not attracted to before you may end up attracted to later if your eyes are open to it. I know that is something that we only think happens on TV and in the movies, but in real life, if we don't believe in second chances than what do any of us have to look forward to? In converse, you can fall out of lust with someone also; attraction can work in the reverse. If you used to be attracted to someone in the past and you may not be anymore as time and circumstances have changed.

Attraction is not a finite concept. I would hate to see any person miss out on an opportunity because he or she was bound by the laws of attraction. You might be confused by this statement, but take a few minutes and think about it. The right person might be right in front of you and you've never considered it or vice versa. Then again, that may not be what is supposed to happen for either of you. I will leave you with this parting thought. For all of you who are friends with members of the opposite sex, if you think that you are "just friends", you probably are, but it was not always that way. At some point in your relationship someone was attracted to the other person as more than a friend even if no one is now. Or, if you have just met someone and both of you insist that neither is interested in the other, this may be true at this point in time, but the scales will tip at some point. Men and women are not built to be just friends. That is biology. Plain and simple. And, people change. Feelings change. Attraction is not a finite concept. . .

Weekend Update

It was a busy weekend. Friday night I had a few friends over for what was supposed to be a game night. Turns out the only game that was played was who could irritate someone more with battle of the sexes Part 22 continuing from the email conversations that a portion of the group of us had been having throughout the day. The rest of us just visited and consumed adult beverages. The evening culminated with a round robin group shoulder and foot massages. Now who would not want to kick back, relax with a few of your good friends with your favorite adult beverage and end your evening with a massage? I forgot to mention there were chips, pizza and chocolate. Need I say more?

Saturday night a group of us went out downtown to a few of the bars. We found ourselves in the middle of a "Heaven and Hell" party at 317. At first, the bar seemed like it would be a good place to hang out and the music was good. Then, the place filled up and the "thumpa thumpa" became a little more than we could all tolerate for an extended period of time. We decided to head down the street to another the Rockin R where the music was a little more listener friendly and we could chill out for a while. We met another friend and added on to the group. One of the girls had her digital camera with her so she took a bunch of wacky pics. I conveniently received them in my Inbox Monday morning. There were some good photos, too.

Sunday, I met a friend at the Cat's Paw for breakfast and ended up staying most of the day to watch football with another group of friends who are in a fantasy football league. We just hung out, chatted and had a drink or two. Sunday evening, I was invited over to a friends for an amazing home-cooked meal and good conversation. It was the perfect finish to good weekend.

And there was Monday. . .

Can I still Have the t-shirt?

Saturday night was all about the music. A few friends and purchased tickets for a fundraiser concert for Media Arts in the Public Schools (MAPS) that was put on by the Clintons. The opening band WangDangDoodle was rockin'. They played a few cover songs and some originals. They lead singer of the band is a retired movie director who helps with the MAPS program. He played a mean guitar. They did an excellent job of warming up the crowd for the Clintons. The Clintons were awesome! They played for 2 hours and were better than ever. They have a new bass player from Billings. He was a cutie! John (the lead singer) was wearing a very fashionable Michael Bolton t-shirt from the Time, Love and Tenderness Tour. We talked to John about the shirt before the band went on. He proudly told us where he had scored such a treasure. We were all very impressed with his find. LOL.

I did have a fun time throwing down the gauntlet for my friend about a guy that we saw that was hot. We decided whomever "won" the bet would be presented with a t-shirt eblazoned in glitter with something about him. LOL. By the end of the evening, we both had given up the chase (we were more interested in the music) and decided we just wanted the cool t-shirt. . .

Talking Vaginas

This past weekend, a few friends and I went to a local play that was hysterical. I was not prepared for the show, but nonetheless, had a great time and laughed until there were tears in my eyes. At one point in the play, there were women dressed as talking vaginas on the stage. There was an adolescent one, a middle-aged one and one that was supposed to be "older." LOL. You can only imagine the content of the vagina conversation.

The show was incredibly politically slanted, but still funny and a great way to spend an evening. I was so glad that I laughed so much for a night!

DVD for TV

I spent part of my weekend watching some great 80's TV shows on dvd and it was really therapeutic. I used to watch some of these shows when I was in junior high and now they have reproduced them on DVD. Some of them have a whole new meaning 15 years later. LOL. I lived for these shows when they were prime time before. The actors were HOT! They were babes. That has not really changed. But, now I realize how terrible the acting was. What can I say? Who was watching the show for acting skills? Not me. But, the escape into the past was what I needed.

Go, Cats, Go!!!

Well the Bobcats finally won a game yesterday!! It was MSU Homecoming. I guess I should not say finally, but they won a home game and it was a game that counts. My friends and I went to Old Chicago to watch the game on TV in the comfort of climate control. We munched on appetizer, drank adult beverages and finished the game off with a fresh-baked cookie topped with ice cream. Now that is the right way to watch football. . .

Nudge Nudge, Wink Wink

I am not sure how many of you pay attention to non-verbal communication, but a person actually communicates more non-verbally than verbally. Because of this, I struggle with how digital we have become in the nature of our communication. It is so difficult to be flirtatious without being blatantly suggestive or downright obvious. In person, a woman and a man can be more subtle with body movements, tone of voice, eyes- everything. I would hate to rely on our new friend, the emoticon, to portray a feeling in the new stages of an early developing relationship. What if their version of messaging program is not the same as yours? What if they are using an all-in-one? The emoticons are not always the same and then what you were trying to communicate ends up all wrong due to a misplaced little yellow redecorated smiley face! What has this world come to?

"It's Not Me, It's You"

This is the title of a fabulous book that I have to share some excerpts from for you. I can't help myself. Here are some interesting things to note. A woman should not ask a man out on a date.

"Asking a guy out is like acting every part in a play. Great for putting on a one-woman show. Not so great for much else. As much as men say they'd love a woman to ask them out, the truth is they don't understand the question. Guys would love a woman to ask them out in their fantasies, but in reality, they 'go nervous' feel unmanly, and wonder what other roles this date-askin', Xena-warrior woman is going to take over next."

Addendum

I want to add something to my previous post. If you are reading that post, and you think it is about you, it probably is not. LOL. If you are reading it and you don't know, it probably is. . .
And, I don't need to take any medication, lay off any medication or hear any advice. I have tried to give everyone the benefit of the doubt on so many things and all I see is people continuing to prove me right. How very disappointing!

Busy, busy

Life has been a little busy, so I thought I would write a little tonight while I have a free minute. I have several major topics that I would love to rant about, but due to recent events, don't feel like I can on this venue any more. Is that not the saddest thing you have ever heard? This is what it has come to. I can't even write on my own blog about the things I want to because people feel the need to assume that everything I write about is about them.

Point of clarification: if you are having issues and I happen to write something that relates to your life, think of it like TV. The characters are not related to any real life events or people or places unless I am talking specifics, using names and dates etc. I like to generalize and for some reason, people tend to read my entries and jump to conclusions. Quit and get a life. If I wanted to make an issue about you, I would use your frickin' name because I am at the point where I am so tired of the bullshit I would not protect you or myself for that matter. As you can see, I am over the crap. . .Have a nice evening!

Salad Anyone?

Don't forget this brand of fresh lettuce, folks! What probably happened is, the water the lettuce was washed in contained polliwogs and these became fresh new frogs, right in the packages. So if you're looking for salad fixins with a little more body, then be sure and try this brand. Don't forget, it's the extra care that Mexican companies take that makes the difference.

I think that at this point, we could just eat directly from a swamp and be safer. . .

A New Method of Birth Control

For any of you who have read my previous posts, you know that I am not a huge fan of kids. For those of my friends who have children, I tend to like them because they are not monsters, but other peoples' kids, this is another whole story. Yesterday evening, I was at the chiropractor (that would be my other home after my multiple car accidents) waiting to go into the room for my treatment and there was a family there, a mom and several of her children. I had seen them there before. The mother was very nice to me and wanted to help me out because I am on crutches. This I appreciated very much. I ended up making it in the office and into a chair without assistance. I was very tired and really just wanted to "rest in peace" while waiting for my appointment. This was really not possible with her children. Her daughter was taking up residence in one of the massage chairs while proceeding to eat candy out of the office candy bowl and her son was climbing all over that same massage chair like it was a jungle gym. These chairs are $1500-$2000 per chair. I sat and watched the mother patiently tell this child not to climb on the chair several times and then finally get up and retrieve him and pick him up and place him on her lap. By the time her sons came out of the treatment room and it was time to go and she was gathering up her stuff, she asked her youngest to put his shoes on. He refused. He is not a baby, even though he still talks like one and acts like one. She asked him why they brought the shoes inside in the first place. I would not have asked anything. The shoes would have gone back on his feet- end of story. Now don't get me wrong, I will not tell you how to raise your children, but when in a public place, please have some respect for yourself and others. At least he was not screaming and yelling when he refused. In any case, this child clearly has the run of that household. I felt sorry for this mother and at the same time was amazed at how this child was so disrespectful at such a young age and she enabled it.

It is great how I can just go to the chiropractor, where I have to go anyway, as my method of birth control now. The above situation just reinforced why I should not have children. . .

The beast is back

So, my car, the one that has the invisible sign attached to the trunk that says, "HIT ME, I HAVE A GOOD ATTORNEY" is finally back from the dealership looking especially shiny and new. I just had it repaired from my last accident, the one where I was rear-ended. AGAIN. For the 4th time in a year. I think it is jinxed. The car needs an exorcism and I am not really ready to drive yet after my knee surgery. And, I have to ask myself this, how many times can you replace a bumper? Evidently, that number is at least four. I am not willing to keep testing this theory for the car's sake and for my body's. I can't handle another whiplash/back injury. Point being, I have my car back.

Back in the Swing

After my major knee surgery, getting back in the swing of things has been difficult. Everyone at the office has been awesome, helping me out since I am on crutches. I HATE crutches!!!!! My mom has been here helping me at home and without her, I would not have been able to get through this. I have had some great friends to support me, bring over movies and keep me feeling like a real human.

Back at the office, things are normal- CRAZY!!!!!! I can't complain. I like my job and even when things are looney, the customers tend to not take it out me, so that is what makes the job worth doing and why I choose to stay. I have great clients and work for a good company.

I work with good people who care. What more can you ask for?

"I am always right"

Do you know someone who is never wrong? I used to be this person. Some would say I still am this person. Touche. I was not the easiest person to be around or have a discussion with. I understand this now that I am more mature. It is definitely a maturity issue, not an age issue. I still have friends now that are like this, and even a sibling who cannot get over being wrong, admitting being wrong or really listening to someone else's opinion on a situation. The problem with this type of person is not that they always are right or have to be right, it is that when they say they are listening to you, they are not. Their mind is completely closed to what you are saying because the only thing they can think about is their side of the issue. With these people, it is always about them. Don't be fooled. They don't care at all about what you have to say. The discussion they are having with you is only to humor you.

It is truly pathetic how uncompromising someone like this can be. The world is black and white. There is only right and wrong; the lines for them never blur. This is not about their strong values; however they will claim it to be or you can't sway them or change them. This is about pure pig-headed stubbornness. Take it from the queen of being not giving an inch when I don't want to. But, after years of losing and looking like an idiot, I realized nobody wins this way.

All good and healthy relationships are not without some discord and disagreement, but anyone who is in a great relationship of any kind (friendship or romantic in nature) knows that relationships are based on compromise. A person has to be malleable or life is going to be a long road of surface relationships . Rigidity is not a good standard for longevity in any relationship. After several recent personal experiences dealing with some very important people in my life who are not quite the extreme in the "I am always right" category but still don't quite understand the meaning of "bend", I have had to really reach deep in inside myself to decide how much I am willing to give to people who continuously refuse to bend at all. It is never healthy in any relationship to always be the one who is the person compromising or feeling like you are.

Here is where I landed. I thought for awhile and decided that no relationship was worth losing over anything so trivial as some of the issues I had faced recently, but that I was hard-pressed to turn the other cheek again. Then, I realized that God has really tasked all of us with being Christians (Christ-like) and that means forgiving even when it hurts me and I really feel I was wronged. It is most like an unconditional love, if you will. Some days it is so hard for me to do this. Most days it is hard for me to forgive someone who has treated me like those in the non-bending situations above. But experience has taught me that not forgiving only hurts me more and then no one wins.

I ask you this, do you understand the meaning of compromise, what it means to "bend", and what happens when you give a little instead of standing firm? Was it all really worth "being right"?

Percocet Girl

I waited as long as I could to have my second knee surgery because of the number of issues I experienced with my left knee, but after months of planning and multiple shots to decrease pain to prolong the time before I would have to go under the knife again, I finally had to give in. I had my right knee scope on August 25, 2006. This surgery was for mechanical purposes. I was born with knees that were not aligned properly. Unfortunately, there was internal damage under my knee cap and my ligaments were so stretched out that this was quite the interesting surgery. My orthopedic surgeon commented that my knee was one of the worst he has seen in several thousand surgeries. Today is the one week anniversary of my surgery. I am doing well. I am walking on crutches without a brace. I am managing my pain with a level 3 narcotic- percocet. Thank goodness for good drugs!!!! This was a painful surgery. I am glad I had the surgery and am on the road to having two knees that are aligned and that I will be able to use again in an active, normal lifestyle of someone in their 30's. Prior to these surgeries, my knees had deteriorated to the point of not allowing me any physical activity at all because of the amount of pain that created. SKI SEASON 2007 here I come. . .

World Trade Center

Anyone who reads my blog knows that I don't tend to post anything political. That is not my area, but I just saw the movie World Trade Center this afternoon and it prompted me to write a little something. I think America has forgotten that we are at war and we are at risk now more than ever. September 11, 2001 was not the first time we have been attacked, it was just the largest on American soil in a very long time. The World Trade Center was attacked in 1993. America has a short-term memory problem and a tendency to think we are invincible. Not only are we not invincible, we are vulnerable, arrogant and down stupid at times when it comes to our homeland security. We are a nation of politically uninformed bleeding heart peace lovers who think that we should stay out of war and stay home. Stay out of the war on terrorism? How? They came looking for us. They came to our country, on our soil and attacked innocent people. Not people with guns pointed at them in a combat zone, people sitting at their desks, starting a normal day at the office. You are asking us to not engage in the defense of our country, in defense of all the lives that were lost that day, of all the men and women who went back in try to save all those they could find? And I am just talking about one single event. How can we not fight this War on Terror? What would you have us do? Stay vulnerable to another day like September 11, 2001? Wait for men like these to plan more attacks, kill more people in our own country on American soil?

We are a country that does not tolerate Terrorism. We have now felt firsthand the consequences of what can happen if we do not engage and eradicating the world of these people. I pray every day for the safety of the men and women who protect our country in the armed forces and are fighting this War on Terror. We can't afford to not have them in Iraq and the surrounding areas promoting democracy and stabilizing their governments. America's homeland security depends on the efforts of our military in these areas. So many Americans don't grasp the gravity of what is happening in the middle east today and protest our involvement in this War. I would hope that before any American does this, he or she would remember that without these soldiers and their efforts, our safety would be in even more jeopardy than it is now. This War is a necessity; it is not an option.

Mi Vida Loca

Wow. I have not posted in what seems like forever. I am moved in to my new place now. If you can call it moved in. I am still living out of boxes for the most part because my life has been whirlwind since the u-haul left the drive 3 weeks ago. And things don't really seem to be slowing down much. By the time I am home in the evenings, the last thing I want to do is open a box and find a place for the items inside in my new space. I will say I am really enjoying living alone. I like having the extra space and the privacy. One of my long-time friends asked me if I was in my "happy-naked space." I laughed, and replied, "How did you know?" He said that is how he was when he lived alone. Running around naked all the time. LOL. What can I say? It is so convenient to be able to dart around half-dressed when you are in a hurry and not have to worry about who is in the house. Just love it. So, as far as creating a home. . .Well, I am working on it. I figure I will make the time or be forced to after my knee surgery next week and then I will have things more organized and my life won't quite be so crazy because I will be force to slow down. Besides, the cardboard will start to drive me crazy eventually and I will want it out of sight.