Perspectives and Perception

I think what makes us interesting and different people is that we all possess our own unique perspective on life. We see everything through our lens. At the same time, it is what can cause conflict among even good friends if we don't see situations the same or don't agree. I believe that many people possess the ability to be rational and reasonable about seeing other people's perspectives, but there are some who refuse to see both sides because they operate under the principle that everything is either black or white - period. Unfortunately, I see this number growing in this country today. These people are more difficult to debate points of politics, discuss different religions, or even seek advice from simply because of the fact that no middle ground exists for them in the way they view a situation.

I understand this person well, as I used to be like this. I really did not see any gray area in many things around me and to this day, I still don't when it comes to certain business situations or when it comes to morality. I do understand that my perspective is mine and may not be shared, though and that is something that I have learned to consider and really tried to incorporate in my life. For me, I have grown to the point in my life where being right isn't as important as understanding the situation and realizing the implications of all that is involved. Granted, it is important to understand that in the heat of the moment of any passionate discussion or debate, being full of clarity is not always a person's strongest characteristic, including my own, but I am someone who can and will concede to an opponent's better points in a discussion, or if needs be, apologize if a discussion rises to the level of an argument and it becomes necessary, due to my actions, extend an olive branch. I know that I have a tendency to overreact in some cases, especially those where my character is being personally attacked instead of the focus being on the situation. Human nature would dictate this to be true of a decent number of people. No one enjoys hearing about what is wrong with them versus what they are doing and that is a fine line that many of us walk during heated discussions. Keeping a discussion focused and not letting it become an all out assault on each other when emotions are involved is up to the individuals in the discussion. It takes people with strong character and good judgment to not derail a discussion. This is harder spoken than executed. I know that it is very difficult for me if someone says something to me and I hear it differently than they meant it, then the fine line he or she might have been walking will have been crossed whether they meant to or not. Intent and perception are two very different things. For me, crossing that line is not acceptable and depending on how far over they went or what was said, I will react and my perception of that situation will change.
Reacting is not the best way to handle anything. Of course, I know this; you know this; most people realize this in their minds. Realizing it and being able to stop it from happening when you are in the middle of a situation are not the same. Any time you are heavily emotionally involved in a situation, you are more likely to over-react and maybe unfavorably if your feelings have been hurt. I can't tell you how many times I have done this. I can tell you that now that I am older and wiser, I am getting better at not over-reacting, better, but still not perfect and unfortunately still doing it from time-to-time. That doesn't mean I am still not reacting. I know for me, this is going to be a life-long challenge to keep my emotions in check when I am discussing subjects that I am extensively emotionally invested in and have strong opinions about. I know that I am going to have to work at it all the time and count to ten more often.

I know who I am emotionally. My perspective is not easily changed and perception is very dangerous, especially if I don't read a situation correctly. It happens. And for me, I find it happens more frequently during electronic correspondence where there is no eye contact or chance to read body language and hear tone of voice. There is so much chance for misinterpretation in email, IM and text messaging. I know I have to be very careful and not try to assume anything. Again, another concept that is easier said than done. On the other hand, the more I am challenged with situations, the more I find myself knowing the work I need to do to continue to grow and to gain a greater, more universal perspective. It is a good thing to learn from past mistakes.

I know I may not always agree with people and they may not agree with me, but I hope that our opinions whether they are different or not, can be shared constructively and that we each can grow from our experiences when dealing with changing perception and gaining new perspectives.