Catch up

So Friday was my last day of work at my sales job and now I am full time at the care facility. I have already been training this past week so now this weekend I have been trying to play catch up with housework etc. I have not really wanted to do much since I worked Saturday all day, but my house is in dire need of a cleaning and major organizing. I hate to admit it, but I have gotten behind and now I need some time unwind, relax, take a deep breath and then really dig in and overhaul this place. I guess you could say a real spring cleaning is in order! So, that is what is on my agenda.

New Beginnings

I have not posted for a very long time and much is changing or has changed. I am closing a chapter in my life and starting a new one. I have finally made the move to make a major life change and leave my "corporate" job to work in a job that helps people. I am feeling such a calling from the Lord to give back now. Today was my first day at that new job. I am working in personal care with Alzhemier's patients. It is hard work. I expected it to be and it was. I also found myself thinking that as humans I don't think we ever know what we are truly capable of doing until we are challenged to do it. When I talked to my mom after the work day was over, I told her, "I bet you never thought I would be cleaning bathrooms and changing people's Depends." "No, No, I did not." But we all grow and change and go where the Lord leads us.

Zha Zha Zoo

I want to clear up some confusion regarding the definition of chemistry from my Shallow Hal post. The guy I was referring to used that term in our brief online interlude so to maintain the integrity of it, I presented it back in my story. Unfortunately, I would not define what he was looking for as "chemistry." In his mind, maybe that is what it is, but for many chemistry involves more. But before I can define chemistry, I need to talk about physical attraction. Some people interchange these two concepts or believe they are the same.

Physical attraction is simply being drawn to someone because of their physical appearance. Looking at physical attraction on the most basic level means a person likes someone else solely based upon the shape of their body, the color of their skin, the length of their hair, the color of their eyes and so on. Whether we realize this or not, this attraction is sexual in nature. We are attracted to someone because of the hormonal response our bodies have to them.

Chemistry isn't quite so tangible. Chemistry is a combination of many things. Now let me explain it. What is chemistry? The way she touches your arm and you feel it everywhere. The way he kisses you and you go weak in the knees. The way he looks at you and you both are ready to leave the party without speaking a single word. The way you finish each other's sentences because you know what the other person is thinking.
Before someone accuses me of reading too many corny romance novels, sit down, shut up and listen. Chemistry is about passion. Chemistry is about connection. Chemistry is about lust. It is about all of those things and many more that I can't even put into words. For many, you know when you have it and you know when you don't. It is almost indefinable, but not quite.

Some say you can be physically attracted to someone and end up not having chemistry. Now before anyone jumps on me and says that is just utter BS, stop and think about this. You might find a person attractive but there just might not being any zha zha zoo. I have seen it happen. Everything is there. Two great people. The kissing has begun and one of them ends up not feeling it.

Here is my point on chemistry. Most people need physical attraction to have a relationship. I am not arguing that; attraction is key. But, chemistry, that is something that most can't figure out without some time, some interaction, a few dates, some coffee maybe a movie or two and maybe even that amazing first kiss to see if it's there. And if you are simplifying physical attraction as chemistry, this might be your problem as these concepts are not one in the same.

Shallow Hal?

I met this guy last week in what is now a conventional way (the Internet) to meet people. We emailed back and forth a few times and then proceed to the high speed form of interaction, Instant Messenger. He had a picture posted on his MySpace so I knew what he looked like. During the course of our emailing and finally our IM'ing no less then three times he requested pics of me claiming he was a "visual" person. Do understand we met with premise of dating online. I don't begrudge him wanting to see who he is talking to, but let me tell you the rest of the story. . .

This particular guy and I exchanged TWO emails and Instant messaged ONE time. More content could have been written on a beverage napkin. I sent him a picture during our IM conversation. Right before I did, we had started a discussion where I had asked him what he was looking for in a relationship. He would not answer that question until he saw my picture! OK. Again, I understand wanting to see who you are talking to, but don't you think that this is a little over the top here? I mean really, withholding the answer to a question that you basically answered on your MySpace because you don't know what the woman on the other side of your IM looks like?

In one way, I admire this man's tenacity. He insisted on a picture early- no time wasting here. He is searching for perfection and he has to feel chemistry. For him, looking at someone is enough to produce whatever feelings he needs to have for what he describes as chemistry.

If every man can look at a photo and say, "I know I want that woman" or "She just does not do it for me", I should start batting for the other team today. Might be time for spring training now. Granted, I am no Ugly Betty, but I am not a Marilyn either.

I understand chemistry quite well; I received stellar marks in all my chemistry courses. Chemistry between humans is built upon these basic principles. I just don't believe that you can base it on a picture and a picture alone and I never will no matter how many men act this way. (Notice the aforementioned man is still single!) If this was truly how the world worked, wouldn't more people be together or are we all just being shallow?

Tyra Banks is Not Fat!

Let's define fat, shall we? Five feet, ten inches weighing one hundred sixty three pounds is not fat! Kickin' curves that won't quit- yeah. Bootylicious - you bet. But, fat. Oh hell no! The media has made an art form out of making women think they need to be 10 feet tall and 110 pounds and that this is normal. WTF? There is a happy medium that is normal and healthy. Not everyone is tall. Not everyone is waif thin. To portray these ideals to women and not push the message that healthy is what is most important is pure ill intent. Women need to focus on having the correct BMI (body mass index) for their height, eat well and exercise regularly.

Are we ever going to see this in magazines, on tv and in the movies? Who knows? As you can see, the minute a superstar's weight creeps up beyond what society has deemed appropriate, the media watchdogs are all over it proclaiming that so-and-so is "packing on the pounds" and "blah blah blah blah." Basically, they are sending the message that you better watch you weight or we are going to blast you publicly and humiliate you if you are not perfect. I encourage women everywhere to say a big F!@# you to the media and take control their lives. Tell society that we are not willing to be driven by unrealistic standards and pressure to be model thin, that we want our young women and children to have good role models that are healthy looking and focused on fitness and wellness, not obsessed with weight!

Real people know what fat looks and feels like and we don't want our children tossing up their lunchables because some stupid bimbo on the CW who is a Size 2 is on some TV show that they watch and they think they need to look just like her to be popular. It is up to us to educate our kids to let them know what is realistic and healthy and that exercise is an important part of wellness.

I am back!

I am sorry I have not posted for a very long time, but don't despair! I am back and I have plenty to say. Stay tuned for vast amounts of fine family fun. (Ok somethings may not be appropriate for the young, but it will all be an enjoyable highly opinionated read as most blogs are.) Hold onto your hats, find a comfortable chair and get buckled in for your reading pleasure. . .

I am never wrong!

Brad was wrong about the turtles. . .

Famous Quotes and Favorite Sayings

"Find out who you are and do it on purpose." Dolly Parton

Fun with Friends

One of my friends flew back into town last night from Texas and we decided to surprise him by meeting him at the airport with a sign, his blow-up love ewe, and a giant sippy cup full of his favorite adult beverage. He had no idea we were all going to be there so it was quite entertaining and the fact the posterboard sign had pictures of a midget, a ferret and other obscure items on it really brought some funny looks from the passengers as they exited. We have pictures of us before he arrived and a group photo too, so I will try to post one later.

The weather decided not to cooperate, though, and the roads were extra nice and slippery after the snowfall yesterday. Needless to say we had a nice time gathering for drinks and dinner at the Mint with some good conversation followed by hysterical fits of laughter for dessert.

A good time was had by all.

Housekeeping

Most people who know me well know that I hate house work and that as far as priorities go, I rank it as 4567 on my list of things to do. Now don't get me wrong, I don't live in a pigpen, but I just don't list that as one of the top items on my "to do" list. Lately though, things have been changing for me and by that I mean my priorities. I have my own place now and I really am more conscientious about cleanliness. (Isn't there some irony in that one?) I am so busy that I don't have a lot of time to clean and I am finding that it absolutely drives me nuts when the house starts to get messy. And what ends up happening is I try to clean as I am getting ready to go places because I notice something needs to be done. This is a bad idea. One- I don't have the time to be doing it then and two I am really not going to do the job they way I want to at that time. What usually ends up happening is I end up late where I am going and I only get part of the way through the task I started-not so effective. This whole cycle is really starting to make me crazy. Hence, my post today. You can really tell that someone has changed when something that used to be so insignificant to them will make them late for a business meeting or a date. I have become obsessive about my living space. I don't think it is a bad thing, but I know I need to rearrange my schedule so I can be more effective with my time so the cleaning can be done when I have time, not when I am flying out the door for an important event. I have to laugh at myself now about it. It is really scary how OC I have become, but it really is not a bad thing. Two years ago, I was hardly leaving my house accept for work events and the occasional social event and my room was something that could be declared a national disaster area. Now, I could realistically have people over with 20 minutes notice. And, the only reason I would want that is to do some spot checking because I am so often not here these days that I basically leave the "big" cleaning to once per week. The rest of my house is tidy the majority of the time. You can walk through my living room and hallways etc. Because I have a bedroom and an office now, instead of being crammed in like a sardine I am staying more organized. I just have to chuckle how long it has taken for me to become this way. I really do get bothered if the dishes aren't done, if the bathroom sink is not wiped off and the floors in my house need to be vacuumed. Anyone who has known me for an extended period of time would ask me if I have a fever or if I am terminally ill. No, I just think I have come around to the dark side and am really wanting to have a nice place of my own that is reasonable clean the majority of the time. Who would of thought a tiger could change her stripes?

Sleeping Beauty Part II

So, first night in the bed was exactly as I expected. What I did not anticipated is this bed is a lot taller than my previous bed and I am really short. . .Needless to say, I had a little trouble getting into the bed. I am sure if you are reading this, you are probably thinking, how hard can it be to get in a freakin' bed? Well, mine sits on a set of drawers that are about 12 inches tall. Add to them the height of the box spring and the mattress which is a pillowtop and now I am sleeping with my nose about 2 inches from my ceiling. Ok, it is not quite that tall, but I cannot sit on it and have my feet touch the floor. (My feet dangle about 12 inches from the floor.) I actually had to get a step stool to get into my bed. I could not crawl into it or scoot my ass up on to it- nothing, nada, no way no how was this happening without some sort of extension to my height. I really do find this amusing. I could not help but get the giggles when I realized that I was either sleeping in my Lazy Boy recliner last night or I was going to have to use my kitchen step stool just to get into bed and by the looks of this, it was going to become a permanent fixture in my bedroom if I wanted to be able to get into bed without learning some sort of gymnastics. I am going to have to think about ditching the drawers and buying a bed frame and a new dresser so I am not sleeping 4 feet off the ground.

Sleeping Beauty

Well, I finally did it. I bought a new mattress set. After talking about it for almost a year, I threw in the towel and spent the money on a really good bed so I can sleep well. It was delivered today so I am really excited! No more sloping, soft, too little support leading to a night of tossing and turning only to wake up with a headache, neckache and backache. Yeah! I am sure my first few nights will be like sleeping at a hotel while I am getting used to it, but I am ready. Sleepy time.

We are there!

So, yesterday was Election Day and thank heavens! The airwaves are clear again. Montana was one of the most important states in deciding which party controlled the Senate. So many states had elections that ousted incumbents and shifted control to the Democrats. I am not sure what the future holds, but I do know that now that the election is over, everyone needs to dig in and get to work on everything they promised they would do in their campaigns. Our nation is still at war. We still have soldiers dying. We still have a national debt that is spiraling out of control. We have plenty of work to do.

Are we there yet?

With election day approaching, I find myself asking the question "Are we there yet?" more often each day. Many states are facing important races for congressional districts and state offices. Unfortunately, the mudslinging is out of control. I am hearing ads on the radio and seeing ads on TV that are so negative I am appalled. Once credible upstanding politicians are resorting to the lowest of tactics to persuade voters on this upcoming election day. What I see happening is these people taking steps down on the ladder of integrity, one rung at a time with each new negative political ad. Regardless of what these pompous advertising executives and political advisors are telling their clients, the campaigns are NOT affective now, but rather distasteful and downright irritating to voters. I would not be surprised if voter turnout is less than anticipated because of the negativity. I am struggling now to want to support any candidate regardless of my political beliefs because of the way this election has been handled. So, I am counting the days until I can check the boxes, fill in the dots etc and the airwaves will return to normal again.

Attraction

It has been awhile since I have posted anything controversial, so I thought I would throw something up here with a little food for thought. Over the past couple of weeks, several of us have been "discussing" a variety of topics relating to men and women and relationships. The battle of the sexes rages on. What is on my mind is the subject of attraction. Attraction means different things to different people, but we all seem to agree that is plays a major role in relationships. However, how major and to what degree is where the divisions start.

Attraction is defined as an, "attractive quality, magnetic charm, fascination, allurement, enticement." As individuals we are attracted to someone for different reasons. What attracts one person to someone may not attract the next person to that same individual. Attraction is completely subjective because we all have our own desires, likes and dislikes that have been shaped by our own individual experiences and perspectives. In general, men tend to be more visual then women; therefore physical attraction to a person tends to rate higher on the list of qualities for a man when searching for his ideal mate. Now, before I get blasted by everyone for that statement, please read on.

Physical attraction is important for woman also and if you ask women they will not lie and say it is not, but many woman as they get older will tell you that, yes I have to be attracted to someone in order for that relationship to work, but it is not my number ONE priority. Women are looking for caretakers and caregivers in relationships and in doing so will balance their needs to achieve their goals. Let me demonstrate my point. Take a look around you and see the couples of today. You will observe many beautiful women with men that you would not expect to see them with (I am not trying to sound like a judgmental, superficial person) but by society's standards these men should not be with these women, BUT THEY ARE! How do you think they ended up here? By luck? By chance? By the grace of God? (ok- maybe this one) NO! Because the woman chose that man for some other quality that he had that she needed and wanted even though he was not a George (Clooney) or a Brad (Pit)or a Vin Diesel in the looks department. We see this ALL the time.

Men, on the other hand, will tell you that they HAVE to be physically attracted to a woman or they can't be involved with her in a relationship. One night stands - that might be another story. For one night you can probably put up with no attraction just for sex, but why would you? What would the point be? (Oh- yes I know, TO GET LAID.) I don't disagree with the need for chemistry or physical attraction. This is understandable, but forty years from now that attraction is not what is going to be holding your relationship together anymore. Granted, it will still play a part; the other important elements in building a solid foundation in a relationship are what keep that relationship going, not just the attraction. It only takes a spark to get the fire going, but not to keep it burning. (Please don't misinterpret this as me saying you don't need to be attracted to someone to keep a relationship intact.)

I am not trying to draw a battle line between men and woman here and say that men have it all wrong and women have it all right in this department. I have yet to find anyone one who has any of this figured out. What I am saying is physical attraction is only the beginning and if we base everything on a single element, we may miss out on the right person because we cannot moved past the first step. People change, grow and evolve and someone you were not attracted to before you may end up attracted to later if your eyes are open to it. I know that is something that we only think happens on TV and in the movies, but in real life, if we don't believe in second chances than what do any of us have to look forward to? In converse, you can fall out of lust with someone also; attraction can work in the reverse. If you used to be attracted to someone in the past and you may not be anymore as time and circumstances have changed.

Attraction is not a finite concept. I would hate to see any person miss out on an opportunity because he or she was bound by the laws of attraction. You might be confused by this statement, but take a few minutes and think about it. The right person might be right in front of you and you've never considered it or vice versa. Then again, that may not be what is supposed to happen for either of you. I will leave you with this parting thought. For all of you who are friends with members of the opposite sex, if you think that you are "just friends", you probably are, but it was not always that way. At some point in your relationship someone was attracted to the other person as more than a friend even if no one is now. Or, if you have just met someone and both of you insist that neither is interested in the other, this may be true at this point in time, but the scales will tip at some point. Men and women are not built to be just friends. That is biology. Plain and simple. And, people change. Feelings change. Attraction is not a finite concept. . .

Weekend Update

It was a busy weekend. Friday night I had a few friends over for what was supposed to be a game night. Turns out the only game that was played was who could irritate someone more with battle of the sexes Part 22 continuing from the email conversations that a portion of the group of us had been having throughout the day. The rest of us just visited and consumed adult beverages. The evening culminated with a round robin group shoulder and foot massages. Now who would not want to kick back, relax with a few of your good friends with your favorite adult beverage and end your evening with a massage? I forgot to mention there were chips, pizza and chocolate. Need I say more?

Saturday night a group of us went out downtown to a few of the bars. We found ourselves in the middle of a "Heaven and Hell" party at 317. At first, the bar seemed like it would be a good place to hang out and the music was good. Then, the place filled up and the "thumpa thumpa" became a little more than we could all tolerate for an extended period of time. We decided to head down the street to another the Rockin R where the music was a little more listener friendly and we could chill out for a while. We met another friend and added on to the group. One of the girls had her digital camera with her so she took a bunch of wacky pics. I conveniently received them in my Inbox Monday morning. There were some good photos, too.

Sunday, I met a friend at the Cat's Paw for breakfast and ended up staying most of the day to watch football with another group of friends who are in a fantasy football league. We just hung out, chatted and had a drink or two. Sunday evening, I was invited over to a friends for an amazing home-cooked meal and good conversation. It was the perfect finish to good weekend.

And there was Monday. . .

Can I still Have the t-shirt?

Saturday night was all about the music. A few friends and purchased tickets for a fundraiser concert for Media Arts in the Public Schools (MAPS) that was put on by the Clintons. The opening band WangDangDoodle was rockin'. They played a few cover songs and some originals. They lead singer of the band is a retired movie director who helps with the MAPS program. He played a mean guitar. They did an excellent job of warming up the crowd for the Clintons. The Clintons were awesome! They played for 2 hours and were better than ever. They have a new bass player from Billings. He was a cutie! John (the lead singer) was wearing a very fashionable Michael Bolton t-shirt from the Time, Love and Tenderness Tour. We talked to John about the shirt before the band went on. He proudly told us where he had scored such a treasure. We were all very impressed with his find. LOL.

I did have a fun time throwing down the gauntlet for my friend about a guy that we saw that was hot. We decided whomever "won" the bet would be presented with a t-shirt eblazoned in glitter with something about him. LOL. By the end of the evening, we both had given up the chase (we were more interested in the music) and decided we just wanted the cool t-shirt. . .

Talking Vaginas

This past weekend, a few friends and I went to a local play that was hysterical. I was not prepared for the show, but nonetheless, had a great time and laughed until there were tears in my eyes. At one point in the play, there were women dressed as talking vaginas on the stage. There was an adolescent one, a middle-aged one and one that was supposed to be "older." LOL. You can only imagine the content of the vagina conversation.

The show was incredibly politically slanted, but still funny and a great way to spend an evening. I was so glad that I laughed so much for a night!

DVD for TV

I spent part of my weekend watching some great 80's TV shows on dvd and it was really therapeutic. I used to watch some of these shows when I was in junior high and now they have reproduced them on DVD. Some of them have a whole new meaning 15 years later. LOL. I lived for these shows when they were prime time before. The actors were HOT! They were babes. That has not really changed. But, now I realize how terrible the acting was. What can I say? Who was watching the show for acting skills? Not me. But, the escape into the past was what I needed.

Go, Cats, Go!!!

Well the Bobcats finally won a game yesterday!! It was MSU Homecoming. I guess I should not say finally, but they won a home game and it was a game that counts. My friends and I went to Old Chicago to watch the game on TV in the comfort of climate control. We munched on appetizer, drank adult beverages and finished the game off with a fresh-baked cookie topped with ice cream. Now that is the right way to watch football. . .