What constitutes "looking?"

I was discussing the subject of relationships with a married friend and she told me that I need to stop looking and just let "love" happen. God bless my married friends as I love them all dearly, but what kind of B.S. is that? I am in my mid-thirties and the "wait and see" approach has not really worked for me thus far. I can't help but sound a little jaded with that statement, but waiting around for Prince Charming to come and sweep me into his arms so we can ride off into the sunset in his pick-up truck is a little too fairytale even for me. I love a good romance as much as the next woman, but I am not living in a romance novel and so far, this story is not a perfect love affair with 12 chapters and a happy ending with turtle doves, a white dress and wedding cake. I guess I no longer believe that love appears to a person out of nowhere one day, at least, not for me.

I have reached that point in my life where I think that person that I plan to spend my days and nights with will be someone who I already know or have met in passing and then get to know on a much deeper level, leading to the relationship that I have been looking for. That sounds strange to many, because so many bank on spontaneity and attraction for a good relationship. I don't discount these things. I need to be attracted to someone, but I want a solid foundation for my romantic relationships, one built on friendship, loyalty, trust, humor and respect. So, I figure I am going to have to put the work in to find someone and be proactive. Sitting around doing nothing and hoping he will find me is a surefire way to remain a lonely heart.