I am never wrong!

Brad was wrong about the turtles. . .

Famous Quotes and Favorite Sayings

"Find out who you are and do it on purpose." Dolly Parton

Fun with Friends

One of my friends flew back into town last night from Texas and we decided to surprise him by meeting him at the airport with a sign, his blow-up love ewe, and a giant sippy cup full of his favorite adult beverage. He had no idea we were all going to be there so it was quite entertaining and the fact the posterboard sign had pictures of a midget, a ferret and other obscure items on it really brought some funny looks from the passengers as they exited. We have pictures of us before he arrived and a group photo too, so I will try to post one later.

The weather decided not to cooperate, though, and the roads were extra nice and slippery after the snowfall yesterday. Needless to say we had a nice time gathering for drinks and dinner at the Mint with some good conversation followed by hysterical fits of laughter for dessert.

A good time was had by all.

Housekeeping

Most people who know me well know that I hate house work and that as far as priorities go, I rank it as 4567 on my list of things to do. Now don't get me wrong, I don't live in a pigpen, but I just don't list that as one of the top items on my "to do" list. Lately though, things have been changing for me and by that I mean my priorities. I have my own place now and I really am more conscientious about cleanliness. (Isn't there some irony in that one?) I am so busy that I don't have a lot of time to clean and I am finding that it absolutely drives me nuts when the house starts to get messy. And what ends up happening is I try to clean as I am getting ready to go places because I notice something needs to be done. This is a bad idea. One- I don't have the time to be doing it then and two I am really not going to do the job they way I want to at that time. What usually ends up happening is I end up late where I am going and I only get part of the way through the task I started-not so effective. This whole cycle is really starting to make me crazy. Hence, my post today. You can really tell that someone has changed when something that used to be so insignificant to them will make them late for a business meeting or a date. I have become obsessive about my living space. I don't think it is a bad thing, but I know I need to rearrange my schedule so I can be more effective with my time so the cleaning can be done when I have time, not when I am flying out the door for an important event. I have to laugh at myself now about it. It is really scary how OC I have become, but it really is not a bad thing. Two years ago, I was hardly leaving my house accept for work events and the occasional social event and my room was something that could be declared a national disaster area. Now, I could realistically have people over with 20 minutes notice. And, the only reason I would want that is to do some spot checking because I am so often not here these days that I basically leave the "big" cleaning to once per week. The rest of my house is tidy the majority of the time. You can walk through my living room and hallways etc. Because I have a bedroom and an office now, instead of being crammed in like a sardine I am staying more organized. I just have to chuckle how long it has taken for me to become this way. I really do get bothered if the dishes aren't done, if the bathroom sink is not wiped off and the floors in my house need to be vacuumed. Anyone who has known me for an extended period of time would ask me if I have a fever or if I am terminally ill. No, I just think I have come around to the dark side and am really wanting to have a nice place of my own that is reasonable clean the majority of the time. Who would of thought a tiger could change her stripes?

Sleeping Beauty Part II

So, first night in the bed was exactly as I expected. What I did not anticipated is this bed is a lot taller than my previous bed and I am really short. . .Needless to say, I had a little trouble getting into the bed. I am sure if you are reading this, you are probably thinking, how hard can it be to get in a freakin' bed? Well, mine sits on a set of drawers that are about 12 inches tall. Add to them the height of the box spring and the mattress which is a pillowtop and now I am sleeping with my nose about 2 inches from my ceiling. Ok, it is not quite that tall, but I cannot sit on it and have my feet touch the floor. (My feet dangle about 12 inches from the floor.) I actually had to get a step stool to get into my bed. I could not crawl into it or scoot my ass up on to it- nothing, nada, no way no how was this happening without some sort of extension to my height. I really do find this amusing. I could not help but get the giggles when I realized that I was either sleeping in my Lazy Boy recliner last night or I was going to have to use my kitchen step stool just to get into bed and by the looks of this, it was going to become a permanent fixture in my bedroom if I wanted to be able to get into bed without learning some sort of gymnastics. I am going to have to think about ditching the drawers and buying a bed frame and a new dresser so I am not sleeping 4 feet off the ground.

Sleeping Beauty

Well, I finally did it. I bought a new mattress set. After talking about it for almost a year, I threw in the towel and spent the money on a really good bed so I can sleep well. It was delivered today so I am really excited! No more sloping, soft, too little support leading to a night of tossing and turning only to wake up with a headache, neckache and backache. Yeah! I am sure my first few nights will be like sleeping at a hotel while I am getting used to it, but I am ready. Sleepy time.

We are there!

So, yesterday was Election Day and thank heavens! The airwaves are clear again. Montana was one of the most important states in deciding which party controlled the Senate. So many states had elections that ousted incumbents and shifted control to the Democrats. I am not sure what the future holds, but I do know that now that the election is over, everyone needs to dig in and get to work on everything they promised they would do in their campaigns. Our nation is still at war. We still have soldiers dying. We still have a national debt that is spiraling out of control. We have plenty of work to do.

Are we there yet?

With election day approaching, I find myself asking the question "Are we there yet?" more often each day. Many states are facing important races for congressional districts and state offices. Unfortunately, the mudslinging is out of control. I am hearing ads on the radio and seeing ads on TV that are so negative I am appalled. Once credible upstanding politicians are resorting to the lowest of tactics to persuade voters on this upcoming election day. What I see happening is these people taking steps down on the ladder of integrity, one rung at a time with each new negative political ad. Regardless of what these pompous advertising executives and political advisors are telling their clients, the campaigns are NOT affective now, but rather distasteful and downright irritating to voters. I would not be surprised if voter turnout is less than anticipated because of the negativity. I am struggling now to want to support any candidate regardless of my political beliefs because of the way this election has been handled. So, I am counting the days until I can check the boxes, fill in the dots etc and the airwaves will return to normal again.

Attraction

It has been awhile since I have posted anything controversial, so I thought I would throw something up here with a little food for thought. Over the past couple of weeks, several of us have been "discussing" a variety of topics relating to men and women and relationships. The battle of the sexes rages on. What is on my mind is the subject of attraction. Attraction means different things to different people, but we all seem to agree that is plays a major role in relationships. However, how major and to what degree is where the divisions start.

Attraction is defined as an, "attractive quality, magnetic charm, fascination, allurement, enticement." As individuals we are attracted to someone for different reasons. What attracts one person to someone may not attract the next person to that same individual. Attraction is completely subjective because we all have our own desires, likes and dislikes that have been shaped by our own individual experiences and perspectives. In general, men tend to be more visual then women; therefore physical attraction to a person tends to rate higher on the list of qualities for a man when searching for his ideal mate. Now, before I get blasted by everyone for that statement, please read on.

Physical attraction is important for woman also and if you ask women they will not lie and say it is not, but many woman as they get older will tell you that, yes I have to be attracted to someone in order for that relationship to work, but it is not my number ONE priority. Women are looking for caretakers and caregivers in relationships and in doing so will balance their needs to achieve their goals. Let me demonstrate my point. Take a look around you and see the couples of today. You will observe many beautiful women with men that you would not expect to see them with (I am not trying to sound like a judgmental, superficial person) but by society's standards these men should not be with these women, BUT THEY ARE! How do you think they ended up here? By luck? By chance? By the grace of God? (ok- maybe this one) NO! Because the woman chose that man for some other quality that he had that she needed and wanted even though he was not a George (Clooney) or a Brad (Pit)or a Vin Diesel in the looks department. We see this ALL the time.

Men, on the other hand, will tell you that they HAVE to be physically attracted to a woman or they can't be involved with her in a relationship. One night stands - that might be another story. For one night you can probably put up with no attraction just for sex, but why would you? What would the point be? (Oh- yes I know, TO GET LAID.) I don't disagree with the need for chemistry or physical attraction. This is understandable, but forty years from now that attraction is not what is going to be holding your relationship together anymore. Granted, it will still play a part; the other important elements in building a solid foundation in a relationship are what keep that relationship going, not just the attraction. It only takes a spark to get the fire going, but not to keep it burning. (Please don't misinterpret this as me saying you don't need to be attracted to someone to keep a relationship intact.)

I am not trying to draw a battle line between men and woman here and say that men have it all wrong and women have it all right in this department. I have yet to find anyone one who has any of this figured out. What I am saying is physical attraction is only the beginning and if we base everything on a single element, we may miss out on the right person because we cannot moved past the first step. People change, grow and evolve and someone you were not attracted to before you may end up attracted to later if your eyes are open to it. I know that is something that we only think happens on TV and in the movies, but in real life, if we don't believe in second chances than what do any of us have to look forward to? In converse, you can fall out of lust with someone also; attraction can work in the reverse. If you used to be attracted to someone in the past and you may not be anymore as time and circumstances have changed.

Attraction is not a finite concept. I would hate to see any person miss out on an opportunity because he or she was bound by the laws of attraction. You might be confused by this statement, but take a few minutes and think about it. The right person might be right in front of you and you've never considered it or vice versa. Then again, that may not be what is supposed to happen for either of you. I will leave you with this parting thought. For all of you who are friends with members of the opposite sex, if you think that you are "just friends", you probably are, but it was not always that way. At some point in your relationship someone was attracted to the other person as more than a friend even if no one is now. Or, if you have just met someone and both of you insist that neither is interested in the other, this may be true at this point in time, but the scales will tip at some point. Men and women are not built to be just friends. That is biology. Plain and simple. And, people change. Feelings change. Attraction is not a finite concept. . .

Weekend Update

It was a busy weekend. Friday night I had a few friends over for what was supposed to be a game night. Turns out the only game that was played was who could irritate someone more with battle of the sexes Part 22 continuing from the email conversations that a portion of the group of us had been having throughout the day. The rest of us just visited and consumed adult beverages. The evening culminated with a round robin group shoulder and foot massages. Now who would not want to kick back, relax with a few of your good friends with your favorite adult beverage and end your evening with a massage? I forgot to mention there were chips, pizza and chocolate. Need I say more?

Saturday night a group of us went out downtown to a few of the bars. We found ourselves in the middle of a "Heaven and Hell" party at 317. At first, the bar seemed like it would be a good place to hang out and the music was good. Then, the place filled up and the "thumpa thumpa" became a little more than we could all tolerate for an extended period of time. We decided to head down the street to another the Rockin R where the music was a little more listener friendly and we could chill out for a while. We met another friend and added on to the group. One of the girls had her digital camera with her so she took a bunch of wacky pics. I conveniently received them in my Inbox Monday morning. There were some good photos, too.

Sunday, I met a friend at the Cat's Paw for breakfast and ended up staying most of the day to watch football with another group of friends who are in a fantasy football league. We just hung out, chatted and had a drink or two. Sunday evening, I was invited over to a friends for an amazing home-cooked meal and good conversation. It was the perfect finish to good weekend.

And there was Monday. . .

Can I still Have the t-shirt?

Saturday night was all about the music. A few friends and purchased tickets for a fundraiser concert for Media Arts in the Public Schools (MAPS) that was put on by the Clintons. The opening band WangDangDoodle was rockin'. They played a few cover songs and some originals. They lead singer of the band is a retired movie director who helps with the MAPS program. He played a mean guitar. They did an excellent job of warming up the crowd for the Clintons. The Clintons were awesome! They played for 2 hours and were better than ever. They have a new bass player from Billings. He was a cutie! John (the lead singer) was wearing a very fashionable Michael Bolton t-shirt from the Time, Love and Tenderness Tour. We talked to John about the shirt before the band went on. He proudly told us where he had scored such a treasure. We were all very impressed with his find. LOL.

I did have a fun time throwing down the gauntlet for my friend about a guy that we saw that was hot. We decided whomever "won" the bet would be presented with a t-shirt eblazoned in glitter with something about him. LOL. By the end of the evening, we both had given up the chase (we were more interested in the music) and decided we just wanted the cool t-shirt. . .

Talking Vaginas

This past weekend, a few friends and I went to a local play that was hysterical. I was not prepared for the show, but nonetheless, had a great time and laughed until there were tears in my eyes. At one point in the play, there were women dressed as talking vaginas on the stage. There was an adolescent one, a middle-aged one and one that was supposed to be "older." LOL. You can only imagine the content of the vagina conversation.

The show was incredibly politically slanted, but still funny and a great way to spend an evening. I was so glad that I laughed so much for a night!

DVD for TV

I spent part of my weekend watching some great 80's TV shows on dvd and it was really therapeutic. I used to watch some of these shows when I was in junior high and now they have reproduced them on DVD. Some of them have a whole new meaning 15 years later. LOL. I lived for these shows when they were prime time before. The actors were HOT! They were babes. That has not really changed. But, now I realize how terrible the acting was. What can I say? Who was watching the show for acting skills? Not me. But, the escape into the past was what I needed.

Go, Cats, Go!!!

Well the Bobcats finally won a game yesterday!! It was MSU Homecoming. I guess I should not say finally, but they won a home game and it was a game that counts. My friends and I went to Old Chicago to watch the game on TV in the comfort of climate control. We munched on appetizer, drank adult beverages and finished the game off with a fresh-baked cookie topped with ice cream. Now that is the right way to watch football. . .

Nudge Nudge, Wink Wink

I am not sure how many of you pay attention to non-verbal communication, but a person actually communicates more non-verbally than verbally. Because of this, I struggle with how digital we have become in the nature of our communication. It is so difficult to be flirtatious without being blatantly suggestive or downright obvious. In person, a woman and a man can be more subtle with body movements, tone of voice, eyes- everything. I would hate to rely on our new friend, the emoticon, to portray a feeling in the new stages of an early developing relationship. What if their version of messaging program is not the same as yours? What if they are using an all-in-one? The emoticons are not always the same and then what you were trying to communicate ends up all wrong due to a misplaced little yellow redecorated smiley face! What has this world come to?

"It's Not Me, It's You"

This is the title of a fabulous book that I have to share some excerpts from for you. I can't help myself. Here are some interesting things to note. A woman should not ask a man out on a date.

"Asking a guy out is like acting every part in a play. Great for putting on a one-woman show. Not so great for much else. As much as men say they'd love a woman to ask them out, the truth is they don't understand the question. Guys would love a woman to ask them out in their fantasies, but in reality, they 'go nervous' feel unmanly, and wonder what other roles this date-askin', Xena-warrior woman is going to take over next."

Addendum

I want to add something to my previous post. If you are reading that post, and you think it is about you, it probably is not. LOL. If you are reading it and you don't know, it probably is. . .
And, I don't need to take any medication, lay off any medication or hear any advice. I have tried to give everyone the benefit of the doubt on so many things and all I see is people continuing to prove me right. How very disappointing!

Busy, busy

Life has been a little busy, so I thought I would write a little tonight while I have a free minute. I have several major topics that I would love to rant about, but due to recent events, don't feel like I can on this venue any more. Is that not the saddest thing you have ever heard? This is what it has come to. I can't even write on my own blog about the things I want to because people feel the need to assume that everything I write about is about them.

Point of clarification: if you are having issues and I happen to write something that relates to your life, think of it like TV. The characters are not related to any real life events or people or places unless I am talking specifics, using names and dates etc. I like to generalize and for some reason, people tend to read my entries and jump to conclusions. Quit and get a life. If I wanted to make an issue about you, I would use your frickin' name because I am at the point where I am so tired of the bullshit I would not protect you or myself for that matter. As you can see, I am over the crap. . .Have a nice evening!

Salad Anyone?

Don't forget this brand of fresh lettuce, folks! What probably happened is, the water the lettuce was washed in contained polliwogs and these became fresh new frogs, right in the packages. So if you're looking for salad fixins with a little more body, then be sure and try this brand. Don't forget, it's the extra care that Mexican companies take that makes the difference.

I think that at this point, we could just eat directly from a swamp and be safer. . .

A New Method of Birth Control

For any of you who have read my previous posts, you know that I am not a huge fan of kids. For those of my friends who have children, I tend to like them because they are not monsters, but other peoples' kids, this is another whole story. Yesterday evening, I was at the chiropractor (that would be my other home after my multiple car accidents) waiting to go into the room for my treatment and there was a family there, a mom and several of her children. I had seen them there before. The mother was very nice to me and wanted to help me out because I am on crutches. This I appreciated very much. I ended up making it in the office and into a chair without assistance. I was very tired and really just wanted to "rest in peace" while waiting for my appointment. This was really not possible with her children. Her daughter was taking up residence in one of the massage chairs while proceeding to eat candy out of the office candy bowl and her son was climbing all over that same massage chair like it was a jungle gym. These chairs are $1500-$2000 per chair. I sat and watched the mother patiently tell this child not to climb on the chair several times and then finally get up and retrieve him and pick him up and place him on her lap. By the time her sons came out of the treatment room and it was time to go and she was gathering up her stuff, she asked her youngest to put his shoes on. He refused. He is not a baby, even though he still talks like one and acts like one. She asked him why they brought the shoes inside in the first place. I would not have asked anything. The shoes would have gone back on his feet- end of story. Now don't get me wrong, I will not tell you how to raise your children, but when in a public place, please have some respect for yourself and others. At least he was not screaming and yelling when he refused. In any case, this child clearly has the run of that household. I felt sorry for this mother and at the same time was amazed at how this child was so disrespectful at such a young age and she enabled it.

It is great how I can just go to the chiropractor, where I have to go anyway, as my method of birth control now. The above situation just reinforced why I should not have children. . .

The beast is back

So, my car, the one that has the invisible sign attached to the trunk that says, "HIT ME, I HAVE A GOOD ATTORNEY" is finally back from the dealership looking especially shiny and new. I just had it repaired from my last accident, the one where I was rear-ended. AGAIN. For the 4th time in a year. I think it is jinxed. The car needs an exorcism and I am not really ready to drive yet after my knee surgery. And, I have to ask myself this, how many times can you replace a bumper? Evidently, that number is at least four. I am not willing to keep testing this theory for the car's sake and for my body's. I can't handle another whiplash/back injury. Point being, I have my car back.

Back in the Swing

After my major knee surgery, getting back in the swing of things has been difficult. Everyone at the office has been awesome, helping me out since I am on crutches. I HATE crutches!!!!! My mom has been here helping me at home and without her, I would not have been able to get through this. I have had some great friends to support me, bring over movies and keep me feeling like a real human.

Back at the office, things are normal- CRAZY!!!!!! I can't complain. I like my job and even when things are looney, the customers tend to not take it out me, so that is what makes the job worth doing and why I choose to stay. I have great clients and work for a good company.

I work with good people who care. What more can you ask for?

"I am always right"

Do you know someone who is never wrong? I used to be this person. Some would say I still am this person. Touche. I was not the easiest person to be around or have a discussion with. I understand this now that I am more mature. It is definitely a maturity issue, not an age issue. I still have friends now that are like this, and even a sibling who cannot get over being wrong, admitting being wrong or really listening to someone else's opinion on a situation. The problem with this type of person is not that they always are right or have to be right, it is that when they say they are listening to you, they are not. Their mind is completely closed to what you are saying because the only thing they can think about is their side of the issue. With these people, it is always about them. Don't be fooled. They don't care at all about what you have to say. The discussion they are having with you is only to humor you.

It is truly pathetic how uncompromising someone like this can be. The world is black and white. There is only right and wrong; the lines for them never blur. This is not about their strong values; however they will claim it to be or you can't sway them or change them. This is about pure pig-headed stubbornness. Take it from the queen of being not giving an inch when I don't want to. But, after years of losing and looking like an idiot, I realized nobody wins this way.

All good and healthy relationships are not without some discord and disagreement, but anyone who is in a great relationship of any kind (friendship or romantic in nature) knows that relationships are based on compromise. A person has to be malleable or life is going to be a long road of surface relationships . Rigidity is not a good standard for longevity in any relationship. After several recent personal experiences dealing with some very important people in my life who are not quite the extreme in the "I am always right" category but still don't quite understand the meaning of "bend", I have had to really reach deep in inside myself to decide how much I am willing to give to people who continuously refuse to bend at all. It is never healthy in any relationship to always be the one who is the person compromising or feeling like you are.

Here is where I landed. I thought for awhile and decided that no relationship was worth losing over anything so trivial as some of the issues I had faced recently, but that I was hard-pressed to turn the other cheek again. Then, I realized that God has really tasked all of us with being Christians (Christ-like) and that means forgiving even when it hurts me and I really feel I was wronged. It is most like an unconditional love, if you will. Some days it is so hard for me to do this. Most days it is hard for me to forgive someone who has treated me like those in the non-bending situations above. But experience has taught me that not forgiving only hurts me more and then no one wins.

I ask you this, do you understand the meaning of compromise, what it means to "bend", and what happens when you give a little instead of standing firm? Was it all really worth "being right"?

Percocet Girl

I waited as long as I could to have my second knee surgery because of the number of issues I experienced with my left knee, but after months of planning and multiple shots to decrease pain to prolong the time before I would have to go under the knife again, I finally had to give in. I had my right knee scope on August 25, 2006. This surgery was for mechanical purposes. I was born with knees that were not aligned properly. Unfortunately, there was internal damage under my knee cap and my ligaments were so stretched out that this was quite the interesting surgery. My orthopedic surgeon commented that my knee was one of the worst he has seen in several thousand surgeries. Today is the one week anniversary of my surgery. I am doing well. I am walking on crutches without a brace. I am managing my pain with a level 3 narcotic- percocet. Thank goodness for good drugs!!!! This was a painful surgery. I am glad I had the surgery and am on the road to having two knees that are aligned and that I will be able to use again in an active, normal lifestyle of someone in their 30's. Prior to these surgeries, my knees had deteriorated to the point of not allowing me any physical activity at all because of the amount of pain that created. SKI SEASON 2007 here I come. . .

World Trade Center

Anyone who reads my blog knows that I don't tend to post anything political. That is not my area, but I just saw the movie World Trade Center this afternoon and it prompted me to write a little something. I think America has forgotten that we are at war and we are at risk now more than ever. September 11, 2001 was not the first time we have been attacked, it was just the largest on American soil in a very long time. The World Trade Center was attacked in 1993. America has a short-term memory problem and a tendency to think we are invincible. Not only are we not invincible, we are vulnerable, arrogant and down stupid at times when it comes to our homeland security. We are a nation of politically uninformed bleeding heart peace lovers who think that we should stay out of war and stay home. Stay out of the war on terrorism? How? They came looking for us. They came to our country, on our soil and attacked innocent people. Not people with guns pointed at them in a combat zone, people sitting at their desks, starting a normal day at the office. You are asking us to not engage in the defense of our country, in defense of all the lives that were lost that day, of all the men and women who went back in try to save all those they could find? And I am just talking about one single event. How can we not fight this War on Terror? What would you have us do? Stay vulnerable to another day like September 11, 2001? Wait for men like these to plan more attacks, kill more people in our own country on American soil?

We are a country that does not tolerate Terrorism. We have now felt firsthand the consequences of what can happen if we do not engage and eradicating the world of these people. I pray every day for the safety of the men and women who protect our country in the armed forces and are fighting this War on Terror. We can't afford to not have them in Iraq and the surrounding areas promoting democracy and stabilizing their governments. America's homeland security depends on the efforts of our military in these areas. So many Americans don't grasp the gravity of what is happening in the middle east today and protest our involvement in this War. I would hope that before any American does this, he or she would remember that without these soldiers and their efforts, our safety would be in even more jeopardy than it is now. This War is a necessity; it is not an option.

Mi Vida Loca

Wow. I have not posted in what seems like forever. I am moved in to my new place now. If you can call it moved in. I am still living out of boxes for the most part because my life has been whirlwind since the u-haul left the drive 3 weeks ago. And things don't really seem to be slowing down much. By the time I am home in the evenings, the last thing I want to do is open a box and find a place for the items inside in my new space. I will say I am really enjoying living alone. I like having the extra space and the privacy. One of my long-time friends asked me if I was in my "happy-naked space." I laughed, and replied, "How did you know?" He said that is how he was when he lived alone. Running around naked all the time. LOL. What can I say? It is so convenient to be able to dart around half-dressed when you are in a hurry and not have to worry about who is in the house. Just love it. So, as far as creating a home. . .Well, I am working on it. I figure I will make the time or be forced to after my knee surgery next week and then I will have things more organized and my life won't quite be so crazy because I will be force to slow down. Besides, the cardboard will start to drive me crazy eventually and I will want it out of sight.

This may get me sent straight to hell on judgment day, but tonight I wanted to strangle some small children that live near my apartment! As I was updating posts etc, all I could hear out my window was SCREAMING from these children. Not playful laughing and having fun, but screaming. Apparently, the parents don't really care what noises are coming out their children because they are playing. I was furious. It is one thing for kids to run around and have fun; it is completely another for them to unload blood curdling screams that would make glass break repeatedly for 30 straight minutes past 9PM on a weeknight for no reason. Some people have no consideration for others. I almost walked out my door and went to the back yard so I could yell to wherever these people were that if they did not shut their kids up, I was calling the police and filing a noise complaint. I told my friend online that I probably should not have any kids of my own. He thinks I should have at least one.

Prince Charming is Riding on the Information Superhighway in a Lexus

To be in the 2000's means that you now are on the Internet, own a cell phone, Instant message, email, text message and quite possibly have tried Internet dating. It is not bad enough that we are almost completely digital in our communication now, but we have moved the fine art of human interaction and dumbed it down to online dating. You can now dehumanize yourself to only your first name and an online profile of personality traits that are matched for you by, what? That's right folks, a computer supposedly taking into account 29 different facets of you. Online dating is supposed to be better, at least on this one particular site because it matches a person from the inside out. Ok. Sure. Right. I have no problem with giving anything the old college try, but I have studied ecology and evolution and you can't get past human nature. Men will always be men and women will always be women no matter how compatible the computer says they are. There is a reason you have to provide a picture at some point in the matching and communication process. We are all visual creatures and chemistry plays a factor for both sexes and whether anyone wants to dispute this or not, men tend to be more visual than women.

So, here is my online dating complaint. You can spin this however you want to spin this, but someone has to tell the truth. There is no such thing as falling in love mechanically from the inside out. I hate to be the killer of romance here, but humans are just plain shallow creatures by nature. ALL OF US!!! This crap about communicating or not communicating for logical reasons is just plain nonsense. Real love is not logical. It is downright messy and passionate and full of surprises. It hits you out of nowhere one day like a speeding train with no brakes and you have no idea what just happened. The person who you never thought of as Ms. Wonderful or Mr Right is standing in front of you in a whole new light. Love is unpredictable and spontaneous. It is anything, but planned and guided and mechanical.

Online dating? Relationships started with no human contact? As a society, I think we have so masterfully found a way to remove emotion from the most emotional part of our lives and at the same time convince ourselves that this is better, more efficient and less threatening. How sad is it that we are moving more towards the digital and less towards the emotional and personal?

The Shower After

So after yesterday's fun float, I was fortunate enough that my friend let me grab a shower at his place before the BBQ. At that time, I was still sunburn free. Normally, my burns, if any will show up in the shower that night or the morning after I have spent any length of time in the sun. Since I showered right away yesterday afternoon, I thought I was in the clear. Well, of course, this morning was no exception. I woke up with a sunburn in the most unusual places and of course, my shower was most unpleasant. I have patches on the tops of my feet and stripes right on the front areas of my arms/shoulders right on the swimsuit line. It is not like I did not bathe in sunscreen. I sprayed it all over and reapplied while on the river. But, I must not have used enough or applied the waterproof one in those areas. Is this not the way this always works? Gotta love it.

8 second Ride

Before you think rodeo and get all excited, let me reassure you that it was not a bull that I was on. Yesterday, I elected to relax and float the river with some friends. Last summer I purchased brand new tubes from one of the tire dealers here in town and never got to use them, so this was their first time being blown up and baptized. After our individual treks to our meeting place, a pow-wow to get everything situated in two vehicles, a proper packing of the beverage receptacle and a Baldwin sighting, we finally headed out to the water. Dropping of my car at the end point normally would have been easy if our other vehicle was not overloaded with tubes and people, so we had to make a run with cars before we actually got started. By the time we had everything actually in the water, it was extremely HOT outside and I was ready to be on the river. It was a good thing, too because after about 15 minutes of roping all of our tubes together and the cooler so it would be within a good tug of rope from any one of us, we were ready to go. Sounds relatively easy, right? Sure. Except my tube decided it was a bucking bronco. I sat on it and quickly landed upside down, feet in the air, under the tube in the river. Thanks for the refreshing dip! I tried it again. No go. This tube would not have me or my ass in it for any period longer than about 5 seconds. Fortunately, I traded my friend for her larger tube and this one was a steady ride. My tube did not cooperate with her, either in the beginning. It just did not want to let anyone on stay on it. I guess she is a better rider than me and finally lasted more than the 8 seconds, tamed the beast and held on for the duration.
So, after the inner tube rodeo, we finally started our float down the Madison. We had a great time. It was quite enjoyable just to relax, trade insults with each other and just enjoy the scenery. Of course, the boys were manning the cooler. Now how would you know that at some point, this was going to lead to trouble? Maybe because there were adult beverages involved? Each man had his own 32 oz sippy cup with Wild Turkey? Not sure, but a deviation from attention to cooler detail did lead us to two men flipped upside down, broken glass, a cooler wide open and half of what was in it happily floating down the Madison. A litter bug I am not. Things happened so fast I could not tell you what led to the demise of the cooler and the men. We all ended up bumped, bruised, wounded and scraped after that incident.
I will say, regardless of a snafu or two, we all had a great day, laughed a lot and enjoyed the fun. Ended the day with a BBQ at a friend's place. Women shopped. Men cooked. Everyone spiraled down pretty fast after all the sun and fun.

Moving Part 60

I am ready to move now. This is process is becoming annoying. (As if it was not in the first place.) I am still packing. Today, a friend said to me, "How much shit do you have? You live in a freakin' apartment!" I laughed. I have been packing for days. But, I do have a lot of stuff and I am trying to be organized and get rid of things as I go. I also can't really take too many trips up and down my stairs at one time to move boxes out to my garage. That is why I am moving. The stairs and my knees don't really get along anymore. It will all be over in 2 weeks and I will get to unpack it all in the new place. GREAT! That is another fun process, but I am actually looking forward to settling into a place of my own. Now, what did I do with that tape gun. . .

Rumors

Do you remember playing the telephone game as a kid? Someone would tell someone a sentence or a phrase and then you would try to maintain the integrity of that sentence while it worked its way through everyone playing the game. Now, if rumors only worked that way. Fundamentally, a rumor is the exact opposite. The integrity of what is said is so distorted that by the time it reaches who it was said about, there is barely any truth to the story (as if there was any to begin with).

I am so amazed and all at the same time not even phased by this entire process I can't even begin to tell you. I was just scooped up, chewed on, and spit out of the rumor mill today and I work in a "professional" office. What is even more disheartening is the people who are involved in the process as it seems this usually goes, are not dealing with firsthand information, are listening to some who are, and listening to others with hearsay only and then perpetuating the rumor down the line to the ones who are supposedly involved in this "so-called incident" that started the actual juicy little tidbit that led to a select group of people's gum's a flappin'. WHEW!!!!! Did you feel that spiral?

And I have to ask this. Why are we so quick to believe the worst about people? (Rhetorical question) Is it because we are still acting like adolescents in high school? Not only that, but I am so glad that people have so much time to devote to things like these and not to what they are supposed to be doing like working! Rumors aside, as there is rarely truth to most of them or such a twisted version of it that you cannot get a clear picture of what is really going on, I will say this. If you are someone with so little respect for a person as to believe a rumor without getting your facts clarified, then you might want to consider how much respect someone is going to have for you if the tables are turned and you are in his or her shoes.

Moving

Well, at the end of the month I will be moving and as it turns out, the place will be mine from the beginning. I am excited about that part, but I HATE moving. I spent the majority of my holiday weekend packing. My mom was here the latter part to help. My parents, after all these years still believe in helping my brother and I take care of these kinds of things. He recently bought a house and they both drove down here to help with everything; mom help with the packing and dad lent his truck for the moving. Steve and I feel we are very fortunate to have parents that are so generous with their time. Even with Mom and Dad's help, moving me will be no small feat. I have accumulated a lot of stuff over the years and I just donated a bunch to charity. Downsizing is such a challenge for me as I am a self-admitted pack rat. Herein lies the argument for owning my own home, but not the price tag/debt that accompanies it.
We did pack a lot last weekend, but I still need to live here for 3 weeks, so we had to leave the essentials out and what did not get done, I am focusing on doing over the course of the next several weekends and in the evenings. I also hate to pack. I don't think anyone likes to move. You have to figure out where to put things, what you can live with while you are in transition, and what you can live without. Great! My life is in turmoil and now you want me to make decisions too. LOL. That is ok, though, because I am ready for the adventure. As mentioned previously, it is time for a change.

New Chapter

Well, it is time. I am moving to a new place. I am not a huge fan of moving because it involves packing and cleaning and I feel about those they way I feel about laundry, but it must be done to get to the next chapter. This will be good. For the moment, I will still have a roommate, but she is not staying long. She is moving on. In the next several months, the place will become my very own. I have not lived alone since I moved out of my parents' house. I have always had roommates. I am looking forward to having a space that is just mine. Should be an interesting time. . .

Flowers that Frighten

I have the best record for not catching the bouquet at every wedding I have every been to over the last 15 years. I have managed to either miss the catching the bouquet with a graceful smile or just miss that entire event at the reception altogether by conveniently making myself scarce at that time if I could. My wonderful friends, though usually do not let me miss the bouquet toss. For some reason, they have made sure as we singletons dwindle that my derriere is out on that floor and readily available for flower catching as if that my insurance policy for marriage. I think my record was a whopping 15 out of 15 misses until my brother's wedding this past weekend.
And then I was flanked by my 11 year old niece (who should not have been out there to catch the bouquet in the first place) and low and behold, she reached up and snatched that bugger. Good for her!! I was ecstatic. My older brother, on the other hand, was not. LOL. He was the one who said she should have never have been out there in the first place. The bouquet toss is supposed to be for eligible women (I would assume that would mean 18 years of age and older?) only. This would not include my niece. At this point, I am laughing at him. I told him it was no big deal. She should keep it and at the rate I was going she was going to get married first anyway. He proceeded to tell me that I should have caught it and if I did not have "alligator arms" I would have. "Alligator arms?" At this point, I was about to bust a gut, but I could not dissuade him. He insisted that by proxy, this bouquet belonged to me because we had to keep it in the family. Huh? Where did he come up with this twisted reality?
It turns out I have to start over now, as I ended up with the tosser and evidently will be the next to get married if you believe the tradition. I have a lot of work to do if that is the case. . .

Went to the Chapel

The wedding is done. The bride and groom are happily married and now, and one week later are off on their honeymoon. The wedding was beautiful. Everything went well. Everyone had a great time. I even managed singing with a wretched cold and not sounding like I had one. I thank the Lord for giving me the 3 and a half minutes I needed to honor my brother and his new wife with that special gift. What a wonderful weekend of family, friends and fun times. Weddings make me sentimental.

Laundry

What can I say? Besides cleaning, I hate to do laundry. I wait until the last possible minute to wash my clothes and because I have as many as a small department store this is entirely possible. I just don't like to have to sit around and wait for the washer to finish and then move them to the dryer only to have to remove them and then fold them to move on to the challenge of finding a place to put them away in the tiny space of my bedroom. If I ever get to own my own home, I will build a closet with a house around it (that and the kitchen). I must have space to put away clothes and in my current situation, I don't have much. We are crammed in here like sardines in a can. I know it could be worse, but I am in my 30's now. It is time to get into an adult living situation where I don't feel like I am living like a college student any more. But, the price of property in this area is beyond outrageous. That is another post. Back to laundry, I can accumulate up to 10 loads before I am desperate. Ten loads will take me a weekend to accomplish. And I don't have time to waste on that. There is an overwhelming sense of dread that washes over me when I have to wash my clothes. Ok. It may not be that bad, but it really just annoys me. LOL.

Going to the chapel

I have been a little out of touch lately. A busy life dictates little time to post on the blog. I have been running around getting ready for my brother's wedding. I cannot believe it is already here. I think I remember when I got the call that he was engaged. Wow, how time flies! I am really excited to see all of our family and the friends that are making the trek here for this special event. I am thankful for any time with my family as so many of us live so far apart. The wedding is Saturday in Helena at the church we grew up in. It will be standing room only. I am not a bridesmaid- whew! I avoided this one, but I am singing. The only two things I do for weddings are be a bridesmaid and sing. I am professional bridesmaid and wedding singer. If you need either, let me know. Sometimes, I get to do both at the same time. Those weddings are my favorite. Killing two birds with one stone. I figure by the time I get married I will have some sort of record for both. At one point, my brother and I were in a little unspoken contest of who had been an attendant more times. He won. HA!! I think he has actually been a best man as many times as I have been a bridesmaid. To me, all that means is we both have a lot of friends that we mean a lot to. I have to thank my brother for this wedding in advance. It is going to be short and sweet with just the right amount of spirituality and tradition. I am so glad he is getting married in the church. A marriage started in the eyes of thed Lord is a blessed union. Until Saturday. . .

The Primary

Tomorrow is the primary election in Montana and I hate this day. I love the freedom we have to vote, but I hate party voting. The lines of political parties have changed so much in the last 100 years that I don't know what to call myself anymore. I know where I stand on the issues, but calling myself a democrat or a republican is not a completely true statement. I disagree with both schools of thought on major issues that cross over. Here in lies my dilemma.

The Windy Intruder

Holy shit! I leave the house for a meeting and come home to find my roommate coming out to the driveway cell phone and keys in hand about 5 minutes after I pulled in looking a little shaken. I thought she just wanted to rotate cars (I was now parked behind her) because she usually leaves before I do in the morning, and then she tells me, "I think someone was in our house." huh? WTF? She then proceeds to tell me that she was in our upstairs bathroom and looked up to see that the attic door is ajar. Neither one of us had touched it nor had her boyfriend. The only thing I could think of was that when they came to fix my Internet they re-wired through that space so I called my tech to see if he had done any re-wiring. I did reach him and he said no go on the disturbing of the attic. That did not help us. We decided to call the non-emergency number for the police. They sent over two officers who checked out the house for us and explained how our attic had a certain type of insulation that was like fluffy white snow and it had not been disturbed, but when it is really windy outside can create a suction effect and pull doors like ours ajar because there was a crack in the corner of the outside panel. My lord! All this mess because of the wind. . .

Why There Are Rules

I was asked the other night why I have rules about my male friends dating in the circle of my female friends. I already know that this is not everyone's favorite topic and people think everyone should be allowed to date who they want to, but please consider this before you judge me. The rules come from past experience and I don't mean just one. The messes I have ended up in have cost me friendships and looking back, this is the only way I know to prevent this. Granted, we are all older and maturity is the gift we have been given (in most cases), but you cannot change the fact the we are human and emotions run deep and a romantic relationship can shift the balance of any group's dynamics.

Don't get me wrong. I want people to be happy, especially my friends. I want them in stable, permanent, monogamous, kissy-face, make-me-sick relationships, and sometimes I think the best way to get there is for everyone to know everyone else (meaning date within your circle) since the concept of actual dating has gone completely by the wayside in today's society, but what happens when they break up?

Let's start with the circle of friends where couples begin to form. Everyone is hanging out having a good time and then a boy likes a girl or a girl likes a boy. It is as simple as a little biology and chemistry. So, they hook-up. In the beginning, things are just the same, only what was two is now one. Then, this couple ends up not staying together. They are friends with all of you. Everyone in the group likes both of you and the break-up is not really going all that well. Even as adults, break-ups result in hurt feelings, bad behavior and some "he said, she said." This stuff is not reserved for teenagers and as much as we would never want to admit it, the drama we see in movies and on TV that we laugh at does really happen in real life. Face it. We are human and we can't help ourselves. And often, you will see a division of men and women over the demise of a relationship. Why? Because society has dictated that women side with women and men side with men. If you believe that crap, great. Whatever. The point is, when a relationship ends, no one wins and everyone around you is affected. It is a like a nuclear bomb. There is no containment. The groups ends up with a shift in what once was a very delicate balance in male-female non-sexual relationships. If you know the movie, "When Harry Met Sally," Harry insists that women and men cannot be friends. That there is always one person who is romantically interested in the other person at any given time in the relationship. I am not sure I agree totally with that statement, but I think that Harry is definitely correct in his concept. It is all about timing. Men and women think so differently about sex and about relationships this concept warrants an entirely different discussion. How this relates to the rules is why it is so difficult to date within a group of friends. Timing can be a problem. You met him/her at the wrong time. Someone else saw him or her first.

So, back to this question. Why are there rules about dating each other's friends? Let me connect the dots so we have a clear picture. I have asked several men if they would date an ex girlfriend of one of their friends. The answers vary, but for the most part, men don't have rules. Men don't care if the woman they are with was their brother's former wife. Ok. Maybe not that drastic, but I think you might be getting my point. Women, on the other hand, in general, if they are good friends, do not date each other's men. Ever! At least not the women who want to stay friends. You just don't go there. And to take it one step further, you don't date men that your friend's have expressed a serious interest in, dated for any decent length of time, or have any on-going relationship with (even if the relationship is only friends) without that woman giving her blessing and even then you should probably say no. Please be aware, that there are always exceptions to the rules and women know when they are okay with their friends dating someone and when they are not. This is entirely situational. Many women don't have a problem with their friends dating a guy that they liked or dated 10 years ago, but they do liked to be asked before a friend goes out with him. Nothing bothers women more than seeing "a friend" with someone she used to like or dated. Honesty is always the best policy. We don't "own" these men; we just like to be informed so there aren't any surprises later. It is just courtesy.

Any man reading this is probably going to flip out, say this is bullshit and think he does not have much of a chance if there is a gatekeeper out there not letting her friends date each other, but guys, get a clue. This is not only about you. This is about maintaining the integrity of all of the relationships involved and believe me, I have been down this road a few too many times to not have these rules. This is about looking out for everyone's interests, yours included, even though you probably don't think do. Past experience has brought me here and I am through with learning my life lessons multiple times. Do remember this, a woman always makes up her own mind in the end so you still have a chance.

The Saturday Aftermath

Last night was a great night with friends. We did a little pre-funking at a friend's house and then headed out on the town. I had stocked his place with a bottle of alcohol for each of us. I figured if we were going to do this right, we might as well plan on being fully loaded. That, and I wanted everyone to have his/her choice of drinks. We just hung out and shot the breeze for several hours, laughing, joking etc, all of us drinks in hand until we decided we needed a change of scenery (more men) so we headed downtown. By the time we headed downtown, we were all feeling pretty good. At this point, we all could still feel our teeth. We did look for a bar so we could try to embarrass ourselves at karoake, but thankfully enough the one we went to that normally has it, did not last night. My ears are very happy. We ended up going in there to have a drink anyway. Interesting crowd there. We found some dartboards and made a sorry attempt to play darts. I am a terrible dart thrower. I did at least hit the corner of the piece of wood that the actual board was mounted on in the first round. . .
Next, we headed across the street to one of the only bars in this town that you can dance. The place is usually crowded, smoky, hot and the average age of the individual is 19. Last night was no exception. We did not care. We found our way to the bar, ordered drinks, and proceeded to the dance floor to shake our assets. Of course, my best friend was hit on by a 19 year old who wanted to take her home. It was a, "matter of life and death." The lines kids have these days. We finished our night downtown in this bar.
Our night did not end here. We headed outside after last call to find our way back to the car and gather up our crew when I was approached by an man who had paid me a compliment at the first bar. I must say that this is a brave man to come up to a group of mostly women to talk to a woman you don't know takes courage. He wanted to take me home. My friends were delighted. I was not in the mood, nor was I going to leave with a man and ditch them. I took his number. Cell phones are so handy.
We went back to my friend's house and decided to find the leftover pizza that we had from dinner and devour that and bullshit some more. We dwindled in numbers until it was just three of us and the clock read 4:50 freakin' am. We headed to separate sleeping venues and all tried to grab some shuteye. At around 8AM, my friend and I were both awake so we came home to get ourselves cleaned up and feeling human again. She and I decided to go to breakfast. By the time we got showered and ready to go it turned out to be lunch. Yes, I was moving slow today. I can admit I was not feeling like my normal bright-eyed and bushy-tailed self this morning. Can't say it was just the alcohol either. Like who has not been a little dehydrated? Besides, I was drinking water for awhile before trying to sleep. I have the wonderful pleasure of the post-car accident back problems and the knees of a 60 year-old at 30. So, needless to say, when I go out and dance (which I love to do), I expect to pay for it the next day and I do it with a smile on my face!!
Went to lunch and hung out some more before my best friend had to head home. After that, it was bed time for bongo. I had to get some ZZZZZZ's and I slept most of the day and into the evening today. I had not planned to do that, but I am so glad I did.

T.G.I.F.

Friday has finally arrived. Hallelujah!!! I have been looking forward to this day all week and if you read my previous post, a "Big Fun Night" is what is on the agenda tonight. Probably not as crazy as those excursions in college, but who knows where it will lead or what will happen? But I love hanging out with my good friends after a long day and seeing where the evening takes us. Cocktails, good company, good conversation. . .ahhhhhhhh. This is the good life.

Big fun night- part 25

"Big fun night." This is what my best friend and I used to title our pre-planned party girl nights out on the town in college. We would gear up about Wednesday for a Friday night that would result in us not being able to feel our teeth, laughing until our sides hurt, talking to people we did not know by the paper towel dispenser in a bathroom that no self-respecting woman in the daylight hours would even set foot in, shamelessly flirting with the bouncers, bartenders and DJ's to win free drinks, dancing for 3 hours breaking only for water to re-hydrate to go back and shake our tail feathers some more, with a 2AM stop at Perkins for mozzarella sticks and cheese fries. I think I might be paying for those late night fat fests now. We were crazy and we did not care. We would ignore everyone around us and just have fun without wondering what people were thinking. It did not even occur to us to care. I think the 12 shots of vodka might have helped. . .
I look back at those nights now and laugh. My best friend and I talk about some of those times and wonder how we survived the binges, the sugar in the foo-foo drinks, some of the men we chose back then and ask ourselves what were we thinking? And at the same time, I look at those carefree college times and wonder when life became less like the hallmark card and more like a bad sitcom. Don't get me wrong. I have a good life. I have a wonderful family, amazing friends, (yes-even the ones who irritate me from time to time). And yet, I am wondering what would life be like behind door number 3? I am not talking about regretting any of the choices I have made. Just a change of venue. Some days I just have to wonder what life would be like if I had done just one thing differently. . .

For better or for worse

There are some days when I question the buoyancy of friendships. Today was one of those days. I had two interactions with two different people that irritated me to the point of wondering how much acceptance is really there. For me and my friendships, we accept each other for better or for worse - in many cases unconditionally like family. I know I am not perfect. I have never claimed to be perfect. Ok- never is a strong word. I have jokingly claimed to be "perfect," but in all seriousness I am a work in progress. I have my foibles, faults and idiosyncrasies just like the next person, but what really bothers me is the fact that there people out there that seem to remind me of my foibles just often enough to question his/her unconditional acceptance.

Everyone has habits; some of us have some not so good ones. I fully admit to the fact that I have ones that I know I need to change. For example, I have a really bad habit of calling people "pet" names that they may not like, even though the names aren't supposed to be derogatory. I really did not know this was a "bad habit" until someone did not like his/her nickname. My intentions have always been in jest, but I have found out that the names were not always appreciated which is understandable to a point. A joke is a joke. Unfortunately, habits are hard to break. So, I am working on it, but in this process, I continue to offend people and in turn get irritated with the cycle. I can't change overnight and I am getting tired of apologizing for being who I am. If you are really friends with someone, don't they accept you for who you are even while you are trying to change for better or for worse? That would be my hope. Even moreso, I would hope that you could address something with a friend once and let them fix his or her problem in the time it takes to do it.

If we could all be so perfect as to fix everything we need to overnight, the world would not be as it is today. And oftentimes, I think in general, people just don't communicate well and that leads to even bigger issues that just mushroom. Misinterpretation is a key factor as to why so many people don't understand each other and clearly communicate today. Because we have gone digital, so much is left to assumption and hence, misinterpretation ensues. A friendly conversation with jokes and laughter can turn ugly so quickly nowadays because email and messenger lacks tone and facial expressions. Emoticons cannot replace human gestures and voices. We are dehumanizing communication and changing relationships by accepting this as the way we want to build and maintain a friendship. The question is, is this working effectively and do we want to continue. . .

Already awake

Good Morning!
I had to say this first thing today. I love a good night's sleep. I don't know how often most of the world gets one and I usually don't. But last night, I had a fantastic snooze. 7 full hours solid. I love it! So today, I am already hoppin'.
Sidebar on Alarm clocks. . .
There is one small thing. Does the guy next door really have to leave his alarm clock going off for 2 hours? It is called SNOOZE! Or how about using music mode? See, we have an adjoining wall- the one from my bathroom and his bedroom; so when I get up to get in the shower the first noise I hear is his alarm. That constant beep, beep beep beeping is so freaking annoying. I am up already! Obviously it does not work for him seeing as he leaves it going off forever. And he is there. When I go to leave for work, his truck is still in the driveway. . .

I hope everyone had a relaxing weekend before they were thrown into this whirlwind four day week. My weekend was spent relaxing, watching movies, cooking and cleaning. (Yes, it was time.) I still needed another day or seven, but I am thankful for the three I had to accomplish the things I wanted to. Long weekends due tend to give me some time to think. . .

What is attraction? What is chemistry? What makes a good relationship? How does a person know when someone is the right person for a romantic relationship versus a friendship? Everyone I know has a different answer for this series of questions. I know that I recently have been examining this aspect of my life in more depth due to two reasons. First, my brother is getting married in three weeks and second, one of my closest friends is going through the pain of a divorce. Watching this union and this disunion, I have come to realize some interesting things about myself and relationships.

Love is not just a feeling that comes along one day and you are simply "in it." Good relationships take work and yet, they seem easy because the two people involved are perfectly matched. And I don't mean perfect. I mean compatible in the ways that a couple need to be. I have watched so many friends over the years put so much emphasis on chemistry, physical attraction and sexual attraction and forget about the fundamentals and then wonder what happened to their relationships.
What I really wanted to ask them was, "Did you think about building a foundation under that house before putting up the walls and adding a roof?" Now don't get me wrong. I am a proponent of mutual attraction and chemistry, but after the initial burst of passion what you have is what you build in the beginning. And this is where I think we have a problem.
My grandparents were both married over 50 years. My parents have been married 35 years. Today, I sincerely wonder if the majority of marriages in today's society will make it to the 20 year mark and we are the problem. We don't spend enough time getting to know someone before we commit. I know that sounds strange, but if we did, the divorce rate would not be so high. People are marrying for what they think is love and finding out that they do not know themselves or the other person in the relationship five or even ten years into their marriages. I feel for these people. They don't even know what has happened to them until their lives are unraveling.

For me, I know who I am as a person and I know that this has helped me recently with my relationships. I know what I want; I know what I don't want. I know that attraction is important to me, but I am not willing to bank the rest of my life on the first five minutes that I have spent with someone. I want to get to know them. I want to spend some time with them, talking, laughing, listening. I want them to know me. I don't want to be a statistic.

Maid in Montana

I hate to clean! I have never liked it. I have two family members and very soon to be a third who own their own cleaning businesses. I don't know what happened to me. To be honest, there are about 4,356 other things in the world I could and would rather be doing. I will avoid it at all costs. Now, to be honest, I am not a pig. I live in a cardboard box (a.k.a very small apartment) and I have a lot of things stuffed into this small place. But, to be fair, I don't clean often enough and wait until I have to or until it is overwhelming (at least in my personal space.) I do have a roommate and often she cleans before I get to it or because it really needs to be done. We are also both very busy people, so cleaning is not a priority, but admittedly, she does the majority of the cleaning in this place. I am gone from the house at least eight hours per day for my job and then in the evenings for my other business. Cleaning would have to take place during my downtime or sleep time on many days and eat up half of my weekend by the time my schedule allowed for it. I have no idea how people balance their lives most days; I can barely balance mine on a regular day not to mention the ones where someone asks you to throw in an extra activity or three.

I will say this. Cleaning will never be a high priority item for me. I will do it. I will make sure that I do my share. I will rearrange my schedule to do so in my living situation to keep the peace if it ever becomes a problem, but I will not sacrifice people, relationships or time with my family and friends to kill dust bunnies. Life is too short to swing a broom, push a vacuum and yield a toilet brush at the cost of seeing or talking to a person for what could be one last time.

Spring time in Montana

I am as close to being a native Montanan as you can get without being born here. I went to elementary school, junior high and high school here and by the time I was done, I ended up with my bachelor's degree from good ol' MSU. GO BOBCATS!! You would think by now I would be used to the weather in this beautiful state. And for the most part, I would say I am used to it. That does not mean I have to like it. This is my first official three day weekend since Christmas that I am actually in Montana and the weather is looking like I should find some wood, nails, a large open field and start counting the animals two-by-two. Of course, we need the rain. We always need the rain. This is Montana. We don't want to be living in the middle of what appears to be Lucifer's backyard come July, but can't it rain Monday through Friday when I am chained to my desk permanently wired to my phone and attached to my computer at the office?

Perspectives

I learn something new everyday. Today, I learned that I am a sexist. I am not denying that I am opinionated, grounded in my beliefs and quite certain of my morals and values, but a sexist? Well, it turns out, probably. And, I am not sure that is a horrible thing. When most people think about the term sexist, they probably think about men talking about women in a derogatory manner, but it is the 2000's. We are an equal-opportunity society. I tend to generalize about men often. What was brought to my attention today, is that I make "sexist" comments about men "all the time." This is the first time I have been told that I was a sexist by anyone, so I found it quite interesting. I was a little resistant to the label, but after a 30 minute discussion found out that by definition, I am a sexist.

In my own defense (but I don't think I need one) I have had years of what I would term reverse conditioning and training to lead me to where I am today. I am not a hard-core male-bashing feminist, but I do have my moments where I generalize male behavior. Furthermore, I believe that men and women both have certain behaviors that are inherent to their sexes and those behaviors are typically more prominent in one than the other. If this makes me a sexist, so be it. But, I know that I am not alone in these beliefs. These are called gender roles. Gender roles today have blurred significantly with the changes in the definitions of marriage and family, but men are still men and women are still women by some societal standard and certain characteristics will always be defined as masculine or feminine.

With that being said, this is not what defines a person. A person is a unique individual with his /her own traits, foibles, and characteristics. A person is a product of his/her environment and choices combined with his/her personality. He or she is not defined by his/her sex, but by the entire mosaic.

Internet Service Will Make You Lose Your Keys

So, as it is, I work for an Internet Service provider. Now, that is fabulous as I am not paying for my service at my home. On the other hand, at this very moment, I have none and I am and Internet junkie. This has proved to be a very painful couple of weeks for me. I MUST HAVE INTERNET!!!! I use my high-speed Internet service every night. As you can imagine, I am going through heroine addict-like withdrawal symptoms as I type on this hi-jacked computer and am trying to stay away from the bright light at the end of the tunnel that is pulling me in to the promise land.

As it turns out, last night I had to go to a friend's place to use his computer and Internet service (end up driving 20 miles round trip with gas at $2.79 per gallon) to come home at 11:45PM to my house only to discover that I had no house key. It was conveniently locked in my house inside my pants pocket from the day before when I had given it to the technician from my office who had gone to my house to "fix" my Internet connection. I, of course, knew that if I did not take that key and immediately put it back on my key chain I would forget and something like the situation I was in last night would happen. But, did I find my keys and replace that key? NO!!!! I opted to drink a glass of red wine, put my feet up in my recliner and forget. I just left it in my pocket so I could stand on my sidewalk last night dumbfounded and be locked out of my house.
Now, I do live with my roommate Jen, but I could not under any circumstances wake her at that hour last night of all nights as today was THE big day for her. She has been studying for months to take this incredibly important exam and there was NO WAY I was going to disturb her.
So, I got back in my car, drove back to Bozeman and went back to my friend's house and stayed there until early this morning. What a cluster!
Needless to say, at 3:00PM this afternoon, I was headbobbing trying to stay awake on 5 hours of sleep. I am an eight hour a night gal - weekdays, weekends, no matter what. I have to have eight good hours of sleep to function. I can go with less, but I am not at my best.

Today, I am still without Internet service at my house, but I do have my house key. . .

As it was in the beginning. . .

Hello! I have finally decided that I can no longer stay away from telling the entire world my innermost thoughts and feelings daily. Right. Not really. But I plan to have fun. Stay tuned. . .