Are we there yet?

With election day approaching, I find myself asking the question "Are we there yet?" more often each day. Many states are facing important races for congressional districts and state offices. Unfortunately, the mudslinging is out of control. I am hearing ads on the radio and seeing ads on TV that are so negative I am appalled. Once credible upstanding politicians are resorting to the lowest of tactics to persuade voters on this upcoming election day. What I see happening is these people taking steps down on the ladder of integrity, one rung at a time with each new negative political ad. Regardless of what these pompous advertising executives and political advisors are telling their clients, the campaigns are NOT affective now, but rather distasteful and downright irritating to voters. I would not be surprised if voter turnout is less than anticipated because of the negativity. I am struggling now to want to support any candidate regardless of my political beliefs because of the way this election has been handled. So, I am counting the days until I can check the boxes, fill in the dots etc and the airwaves will return to normal again.

Attraction

It has been awhile since I have posted anything controversial, so I thought I would throw something up here with a little food for thought. Over the past couple of weeks, several of us have been "discussing" a variety of topics relating to men and women and relationships. The battle of the sexes rages on. What is on my mind is the subject of attraction. Attraction means different things to different people, but we all seem to agree that is plays a major role in relationships. However, how major and to what degree is where the divisions start.

Attraction is defined as an, "attractive quality, magnetic charm, fascination, allurement, enticement." As individuals we are attracted to someone for different reasons. What attracts one person to someone may not attract the next person to that same individual. Attraction is completely subjective because we all have our own desires, likes and dislikes that have been shaped by our own individual experiences and perspectives. In general, men tend to be more visual then women; therefore physical attraction to a person tends to rate higher on the list of qualities for a man when searching for his ideal mate. Now, before I get blasted by everyone for that statement, please read on.

Physical attraction is important for woman also and if you ask women they will not lie and say it is not, but many woman as they get older will tell you that, yes I have to be attracted to someone in order for that relationship to work, but it is not my number ONE priority. Women are looking for caretakers and caregivers in relationships and in doing so will balance their needs to achieve their goals. Let me demonstrate my point. Take a look around you and see the couples of today. You will observe many beautiful women with men that you would not expect to see them with (I am not trying to sound like a judgmental, superficial person) but by society's standards these men should not be with these women, BUT THEY ARE! How do you think they ended up here? By luck? By chance? By the grace of God? (ok- maybe this one) NO! Because the woman chose that man for some other quality that he had that she needed and wanted even though he was not a George (Clooney) or a Brad (Pit)or a Vin Diesel in the looks department. We see this ALL the time.

Men, on the other hand, will tell you that they HAVE to be physically attracted to a woman or they can't be involved with her in a relationship. One night stands - that might be another story. For one night you can probably put up with no attraction just for sex, but why would you? What would the point be? (Oh- yes I know, TO GET LAID.) I don't disagree with the need for chemistry or physical attraction. This is understandable, but forty years from now that attraction is not what is going to be holding your relationship together anymore. Granted, it will still play a part; the other important elements in building a solid foundation in a relationship are what keep that relationship going, not just the attraction. It only takes a spark to get the fire going, but not to keep it burning. (Please don't misinterpret this as me saying you don't need to be attracted to someone to keep a relationship intact.)

I am not trying to draw a battle line between men and woman here and say that men have it all wrong and women have it all right in this department. I have yet to find anyone one who has any of this figured out. What I am saying is physical attraction is only the beginning and if we base everything on a single element, we may miss out on the right person because we cannot moved past the first step. People change, grow and evolve and someone you were not attracted to before you may end up attracted to later if your eyes are open to it. I know that is something that we only think happens on TV and in the movies, but in real life, if we don't believe in second chances than what do any of us have to look forward to? In converse, you can fall out of lust with someone also; attraction can work in the reverse. If you used to be attracted to someone in the past and you may not be anymore as time and circumstances have changed.

Attraction is not a finite concept. I would hate to see any person miss out on an opportunity because he or she was bound by the laws of attraction. You might be confused by this statement, but take a few minutes and think about it. The right person might be right in front of you and you've never considered it or vice versa. Then again, that may not be what is supposed to happen for either of you. I will leave you with this parting thought. For all of you who are friends with members of the opposite sex, if you think that you are "just friends", you probably are, but it was not always that way. At some point in your relationship someone was attracted to the other person as more than a friend even if no one is now. Or, if you have just met someone and both of you insist that neither is interested in the other, this may be true at this point in time, but the scales will tip at some point. Men and women are not built to be just friends. That is biology. Plain and simple. And, people change. Feelings change. Attraction is not a finite concept. . .

Weekend Update

It was a busy weekend. Friday night I had a few friends over for what was supposed to be a game night. Turns out the only game that was played was who could irritate someone more with battle of the sexes Part 22 continuing from the email conversations that a portion of the group of us had been having throughout the day. The rest of us just visited and consumed adult beverages. The evening culminated with a round robin group shoulder and foot massages. Now who would not want to kick back, relax with a few of your good friends with your favorite adult beverage and end your evening with a massage? I forgot to mention there were chips, pizza and chocolate. Need I say more?

Saturday night a group of us went out downtown to a few of the bars. We found ourselves in the middle of a "Heaven and Hell" party at 317. At first, the bar seemed like it would be a good place to hang out and the music was good. Then, the place filled up and the "thumpa thumpa" became a little more than we could all tolerate for an extended period of time. We decided to head down the street to another the Rockin R where the music was a little more listener friendly and we could chill out for a while. We met another friend and added on to the group. One of the girls had her digital camera with her so she took a bunch of wacky pics. I conveniently received them in my Inbox Monday morning. There were some good photos, too.

Sunday, I met a friend at the Cat's Paw for breakfast and ended up staying most of the day to watch football with another group of friends who are in a fantasy football league. We just hung out, chatted and had a drink or two. Sunday evening, I was invited over to a friends for an amazing home-cooked meal and good conversation. It was the perfect finish to good weekend.

And there was Monday. . .

Can I still Have the t-shirt?

Saturday night was all about the music. A few friends and purchased tickets for a fundraiser concert for Media Arts in the Public Schools (MAPS) that was put on by the Clintons. The opening band WangDangDoodle was rockin'. They played a few cover songs and some originals. They lead singer of the band is a retired movie director who helps with the MAPS program. He played a mean guitar. They did an excellent job of warming up the crowd for the Clintons. The Clintons were awesome! They played for 2 hours and were better than ever. They have a new bass player from Billings. He was a cutie! John (the lead singer) was wearing a very fashionable Michael Bolton t-shirt from the Time, Love and Tenderness Tour. We talked to John about the shirt before the band went on. He proudly told us where he had scored such a treasure. We were all very impressed with his find. LOL.

I did have a fun time throwing down the gauntlet for my friend about a guy that we saw that was hot. We decided whomever "won" the bet would be presented with a t-shirt eblazoned in glitter with something about him. LOL. By the end of the evening, we both had given up the chase (we were more interested in the music) and decided we just wanted the cool t-shirt. . .

Talking Vaginas

This past weekend, a few friends and I went to a local play that was hysterical. I was not prepared for the show, but nonetheless, had a great time and laughed until there were tears in my eyes. At one point in the play, there were women dressed as talking vaginas on the stage. There was an adolescent one, a middle-aged one and one that was supposed to be "older." LOL. You can only imagine the content of the vagina conversation.

The show was incredibly politically slanted, but still funny and a great way to spend an evening. I was so glad that I laughed so much for a night!

DVD for TV

I spent part of my weekend watching some great 80's TV shows on dvd and it was really therapeutic. I used to watch some of these shows when I was in junior high and now they have reproduced them on DVD. Some of them have a whole new meaning 15 years later. LOL. I lived for these shows when they were prime time before. The actors were HOT! They were babes. That has not really changed. But, now I realize how terrible the acting was. What can I say? Who was watching the show for acting skills? Not me. But, the escape into the past was what I needed.

Go, Cats, Go!!!

Well the Bobcats finally won a game yesterday!! It was MSU Homecoming. I guess I should not say finally, but they won a home game and it was a game that counts. My friends and I went to Old Chicago to watch the game on TV in the comfort of climate control. We munched on appetizer, drank adult beverages and finished the game off with a fresh-baked cookie topped with ice cream. Now that is the right way to watch football. . .

Nudge Nudge, Wink Wink

I am not sure how many of you pay attention to non-verbal communication, but a person actually communicates more non-verbally than verbally. Because of this, I struggle with how digital we have become in the nature of our communication. It is so difficult to be flirtatious without being blatantly suggestive or downright obvious. In person, a woman and a man can be more subtle with body movements, tone of voice, eyes- everything. I would hate to rely on our new friend, the emoticon, to portray a feeling in the new stages of an early developing relationship. What if their version of messaging program is not the same as yours? What if they are using an all-in-one? The emoticons are not always the same and then what you were trying to communicate ends up all wrong due to a misplaced little yellow redecorated smiley face! What has this world come to?

"It's Not Me, It's You"

This is the title of a fabulous book that I have to share some excerpts from for you. I can't help myself. Here are some interesting things to note. A woman should not ask a man out on a date.

"Asking a guy out is like acting every part in a play. Great for putting on a one-woman show. Not so great for much else. As much as men say they'd love a woman to ask them out, the truth is they don't understand the question. Guys would love a woman to ask them out in their fantasies, but in reality, they 'go nervous' feel unmanly, and wonder what other roles this date-askin', Xena-warrior woman is going to take over next."

Addendum

I want to add something to my previous post. If you are reading that post, and you think it is about you, it probably is not. LOL. If you are reading it and you don't know, it probably is. . .
And, I don't need to take any medication, lay off any medication or hear any advice. I have tried to give everyone the benefit of the doubt on so many things and all I see is people continuing to prove me right. How very disappointing!

Busy, busy

Life has been a little busy, so I thought I would write a little tonight while I have a free minute. I have several major topics that I would love to rant about, but due to recent events, don't feel like I can on this venue any more. Is that not the saddest thing you have ever heard? This is what it has come to. I can't even write on my own blog about the things I want to because people feel the need to assume that everything I write about is about them.

Point of clarification: if you are having issues and I happen to write something that relates to your life, think of it like TV. The characters are not related to any real life events or people or places unless I am talking specifics, using names and dates etc. I like to generalize and for some reason, people tend to read my entries and jump to conclusions. Quit and get a life. If I wanted to make an issue about you, I would use your frickin' name because I am at the point where I am so tired of the bullshit I would not protect you or myself for that matter. As you can see, I am over the crap. . .Have a nice evening!

Salad Anyone?

Don't forget this brand of fresh lettuce, folks! What probably happened is, the water the lettuce was washed in contained polliwogs and these became fresh new frogs, right in the packages. So if you're looking for salad fixins with a little more body, then be sure and try this brand. Don't forget, it's the extra care that Mexican companies take that makes the difference.

I think that at this point, we could just eat directly from a swamp and be safer. . .

A New Method of Birth Control

For any of you who have read my previous posts, you know that I am not a huge fan of kids. For those of my friends who have children, I tend to like them because they are not monsters, but other peoples' kids, this is another whole story. Yesterday evening, I was at the chiropractor (that would be my other home after my multiple car accidents) waiting to go into the room for my treatment and there was a family there, a mom and several of her children. I had seen them there before. The mother was very nice to me and wanted to help me out because I am on crutches. This I appreciated very much. I ended up making it in the office and into a chair without assistance. I was very tired and really just wanted to "rest in peace" while waiting for my appointment. This was really not possible with her children. Her daughter was taking up residence in one of the massage chairs while proceeding to eat candy out of the office candy bowl and her son was climbing all over that same massage chair like it was a jungle gym. These chairs are $1500-$2000 per chair. I sat and watched the mother patiently tell this child not to climb on the chair several times and then finally get up and retrieve him and pick him up and place him on her lap. By the time her sons came out of the treatment room and it was time to go and she was gathering up her stuff, she asked her youngest to put his shoes on. He refused. He is not a baby, even though he still talks like one and acts like one. She asked him why they brought the shoes inside in the first place. I would not have asked anything. The shoes would have gone back on his feet- end of story. Now don't get me wrong, I will not tell you how to raise your children, but when in a public place, please have some respect for yourself and others. At least he was not screaming and yelling when he refused. In any case, this child clearly has the run of that household. I felt sorry for this mother and at the same time was amazed at how this child was so disrespectful at such a young age and she enabled it.

It is great how I can just go to the chiropractor, where I have to go anyway, as my method of birth control now. The above situation just reinforced why I should not have children. . .

The beast is back

So, my car, the one that has the invisible sign attached to the trunk that says, "HIT ME, I HAVE A GOOD ATTORNEY" is finally back from the dealership looking especially shiny and new. I just had it repaired from my last accident, the one where I was rear-ended. AGAIN. For the 4th time in a year. I think it is jinxed. The car needs an exorcism and I am not really ready to drive yet after my knee surgery. And, I have to ask myself this, how many times can you replace a bumper? Evidently, that number is at least four. I am not willing to keep testing this theory for the car's sake and for my body's. I can't handle another whiplash/back injury. Point being, I have my car back.

Back in the Swing

After my major knee surgery, getting back in the swing of things has been difficult. Everyone at the office has been awesome, helping me out since I am on crutches. I HATE crutches!!!!! My mom has been here helping me at home and without her, I would not have been able to get through this. I have had some great friends to support me, bring over movies and keep me feeling like a real human.

Back at the office, things are normal- CRAZY!!!!!! I can't complain. I like my job and even when things are looney, the customers tend to not take it out me, so that is what makes the job worth doing and why I choose to stay. I have great clients and work for a good company.

I work with good people who care. What more can you ask for?

"I am always right"

Do you know someone who is never wrong? I used to be this person. Some would say I still am this person. Touche. I was not the easiest person to be around or have a discussion with. I understand this now that I am more mature. It is definitely a maturity issue, not an age issue. I still have friends now that are like this, and even a sibling who cannot get over being wrong, admitting being wrong or really listening to someone else's opinion on a situation. The problem with this type of person is not that they always are right or have to be right, it is that when they say they are listening to you, they are not. Their mind is completely closed to what you are saying because the only thing they can think about is their side of the issue. With these people, it is always about them. Don't be fooled. They don't care at all about what you have to say. The discussion they are having with you is only to humor you.

It is truly pathetic how uncompromising someone like this can be. The world is black and white. There is only right and wrong; the lines for them never blur. This is not about their strong values; however they will claim it to be or you can't sway them or change them. This is about pure pig-headed stubbornness. Take it from the queen of being not giving an inch when I don't want to. But, after years of losing and looking like an idiot, I realized nobody wins this way.

All good and healthy relationships are not without some discord and disagreement, but anyone who is in a great relationship of any kind (friendship or romantic in nature) knows that relationships are based on compromise. A person has to be malleable or life is going to be a long road of surface relationships . Rigidity is not a good standard for longevity in any relationship. After several recent personal experiences dealing with some very important people in my life who are not quite the extreme in the "I am always right" category but still don't quite understand the meaning of "bend", I have had to really reach deep in inside myself to decide how much I am willing to give to people who continuously refuse to bend at all. It is never healthy in any relationship to always be the one who is the person compromising or feeling like you are.

Here is where I landed. I thought for awhile and decided that no relationship was worth losing over anything so trivial as some of the issues I had faced recently, but that I was hard-pressed to turn the other cheek again. Then, I realized that God has really tasked all of us with being Christians (Christ-like) and that means forgiving even when it hurts me and I really feel I was wronged. It is most like an unconditional love, if you will. Some days it is so hard for me to do this. Most days it is hard for me to forgive someone who has treated me like those in the non-bending situations above. But experience has taught me that not forgiving only hurts me more and then no one wins.

I ask you this, do you understand the meaning of compromise, what it means to "bend", and what happens when you give a little instead of standing firm? Was it all really worth "being right"?

Percocet Girl

I waited as long as I could to have my second knee surgery because of the number of issues I experienced with my left knee, but after months of planning and multiple shots to decrease pain to prolong the time before I would have to go under the knife again, I finally had to give in. I had my right knee scope on August 25, 2006. This surgery was for mechanical purposes. I was born with knees that were not aligned properly. Unfortunately, there was internal damage under my knee cap and my ligaments were so stretched out that this was quite the interesting surgery. My orthopedic surgeon commented that my knee was one of the worst he has seen in several thousand surgeries. Today is the one week anniversary of my surgery. I am doing well. I am walking on crutches without a brace. I am managing my pain with a level 3 narcotic- percocet. Thank goodness for good drugs!!!! This was a painful surgery. I am glad I had the surgery and am on the road to having two knees that are aligned and that I will be able to use again in an active, normal lifestyle of someone in their 30's. Prior to these surgeries, my knees had deteriorated to the point of not allowing me any physical activity at all because of the amount of pain that created. SKI SEASON 2007 here I come. . .

World Trade Center

Anyone who reads my blog knows that I don't tend to post anything political. That is not my area, but I just saw the movie World Trade Center this afternoon and it prompted me to write a little something. I think America has forgotten that we are at war and we are at risk now more than ever. September 11, 2001 was not the first time we have been attacked, it was just the largest on American soil in a very long time. The World Trade Center was attacked in 1993. America has a short-term memory problem and a tendency to think we are invincible. Not only are we not invincible, we are vulnerable, arrogant and down stupid at times when it comes to our homeland security. We are a nation of politically uninformed bleeding heart peace lovers who think that we should stay out of war and stay home. Stay out of the war on terrorism? How? They came looking for us. They came to our country, on our soil and attacked innocent people. Not people with guns pointed at them in a combat zone, people sitting at their desks, starting a normal day at the office. You are asking us to not engage in the defense of our country, in defense of all the lives that were lost that day, of all the men and women who went back in try to save all those they could find? And I am just talking about one single event. How can we not fight this War on Terror? What would you have us do? Stay vulnerable to another day like September 11, 2001? Wait for men like these to plan more attacks, kill more people in our own country on American soil?

We are a country that does not tolerate Terrorism. We have now felt firsthand the consequences of what can happen if we do not engage and eradicating the world of these people. I pray every day for the safety of the men and women who protect our country in the armed forces and are fighting this War on Terror. We can't afford to not have them in Iraq and the surrounding areas promoting democracy and stabilizing their governments. America's homeland security depends on the efforts of our military in these areas. So many Americans don't grasp the gravity of what is happening in the middle east today and protest our involvement in this War. I would hope that before any American does this, he or she would remember that without these soldiers and their efforts, our safety would be in even more jeopardy than it is now. This War is a necessity; it is not an option.

Mi Vida Loca

Wow. I have not posted in what seems like forever. I am moved in to my new place now. If you can call it moved in. I am still living out of boxes for the most part because my life has been whirlwind since the u-haul left the drive 3 weeks ago. And things don't really seem to be slowing down much. By the time I am home in the evenings, the last thing I want to do is open a box and find a place for the items inside in my new space. I will say I am really enjoying living alone. I like having the extra space and the privacy. One of my long-time friends asked me if I was in my "happy-naked space." I laughed, and replied, "How did you know?" He said that is how he was when he lived alone. Running around naked all the time. LOL. What can I say? It is so convenient to be able to dart around half-dressed when you are in a hurry and not have to worry about who is in the house. Just love it. So, as far as creating a home. . .Well, I am working on it. I figure I will make the time or be forced to after my knee surgery next week and then I will have things more organized and my life won't quite be so crazy because I will be force to slow down. Besides, the cardboard will start to drive me crazy eventually and I will want it out of sight.

This may get me sent straight to hell on judgment day, but tonight I wanted to strangle some small children that live near my apartment! As I was updating posts etc, all I could hear out my window was SCREAMING from these children. Not playful laughing and having fun, but screaming. Apparently, the parents don't really care what noises are coming out their children because they are playing. I was furious. It is one thing for kids to run around and have fun; it is completely another for them to unload blood curdling screams that would make glass break repeatedly for 30 straight minutes past 9PM on a weeknight for no reason. Some people have no consideration for others. I almost walked out my door and went to the back yard so I could yell to wherever these people were that if they did not shut their kids up, I was calling the police and filing a noise complaint. I told my friend online that I probably should not have any kids of my own. He thinks I should have at least one.