Nudge Nudge, Wink Wink

I am not sure how many of you pay attention to non-verbal communication, but a person actually communicates more non-verbally than verbally. Because of this, I struggle with how digital we have become in the nature of our communication. It is so difficult to be flirtatious without being blatantly suggestive or downright obvious. In person, a woman and a man can be more subtle with body movements, tone of voice, eyes- everything. I would hate to rely on our new friend, the emoticon, to portray a feeling in the new stages of an early developing relationship. What if their version of messaging program is not the same as yours? What if they are using an all-in-one? The emoticons are not always the same and then what you were trying to communicate ends up all wrong due to a misplaced little yellow redecorated smiley face! What has this world come to?

"It's Not Me, It's You"

This is the title of a fabulous book that I have to share some excerpts from for you. I can't help myself. Here are some interesting things to note. A woman should not ask a man out on a date.

"Asking a guy out is like acting every part in a play. Great for putting on a one-woman show. Not so great for much else. As much as men say they'd love a woman to ask them out, the truth is they don't understand the question. Guys would love a woman to ask them out in their fantasies, but in reality, they 'go nervous' feel unmanly, and wonder what other roles this date-askin', Xena-warrior woman is going to take over next."

Addendum

I want to add something to my previous post. If you are reading that post, and you think it is about you, it probably is not. LOL. If you are reading it and you don't know, it probably is. . .
And, I don't need to take any medication, lay off any medication or hear any advice. I have tried to give everyone the benefit of the doubt on so many things and all I see is people continuing to prove me right. How very disappointing!

Busy, busy

Life has been a little busy, so I thought I would write a little tonight while I have a free minute. I have several major topics that I would love to rant about, but due to recent events, don't feel like I can on this venue any more. Is that not the saddest thing you have ever heard? This is what it has come to. I can't even write on my own blog about the things I want to because people feel the need to assume that everything I write about is about them.

Point of clarification: if you are having issues and I happen to write something that relates to your life, think of it like TV. The characters are not related to any real life events or people or places unless I am talking specifics, using names and dates etc. I like to generalize and for some reason, people tend to read my entries and jump to conclusions. Quit and get a life. If I wanted to make an issue about you, I would use your frickin' name because I am at the point where I am so tired of the bullshit I would not protect you or myself for that matter. As you can see, I am over the crap. . .Have a nice evening!

Salad Anyone?

Don't forget this brand of fresh lettuce, folks! What probably happened is, the water the lettuce was washed in contained polliwogs and these became fresh new frogs, right in the packages. So if you're looking for salad fixins with a little more body, then be sure and try this brand. Don't forget, it's the extra care that Mexican companies take that makes the difference.

I think that at this point, we could just eat directly from a swamp and be safer. . .

A New Method of Birth Control

For any of you who have read my previous posts, you know that I am not a huge fan of kids. For those of my friends who have children, I tend to like them because they are not monsters, but other peoples' kids, this is another whole story. Yesterday evening, I was at the chiropractor (that would be my other home after my multiple car accidents) waiting to go into the room for my treatment and there was a family there, a mom and several of her children. I had seen them there before. The mother was very nice to me and wanted to help me out because I am on crutches. This I appreciated very much. I ended up making it in the office and into a chair without assistance. I was very tired and really just wanted to "rest in peace" while waiting for my appointment. This was really not possible with her children. Her daughter was taking up residence in one of the massage chairs while proceeding to eat candy out of the office candy bowl and her son was climbing all over that same massage chair like it was a jungle gym. These chairs are $1500-$2000 per chair. I sat and watched the mother patiently tell this child not to climb on the chair several times and then finally get up and retrieve him and pick him up and place him on her lap. By the time her sons came out of the treatment room and it was time to go and she was gathering up her stuff, she asked her youngest to put his shoes on. He refused. He is not a baby, even though he still talks like one and acts like one. She asked him why they brought the shoes inside in the first place. I would not have asked anything. The shoes would have gone back on his feet- end of story. Now don't get me wrong, I will not tell you how to raise your children, but when in a public place, please have some respect for yourself and others. At least he was not screaming and yelling when he refused. In any case, this child clearly has the run of that household. I felt sorry for this mother and at the same time was amazed at how this child was so disrespectful at such a young age and she enabled it.

It is great how I can just go to the chiropractor, where I have to go anyway, as my method of birth control now. The above situation just reinforced why I should not have children. . .

The beast is back

So, my car, the one that has the invisible sign attached to the trunk that says, "HIT ME, I HAVE A GOOD ATTORNEY" is finally back from the dealership looking especially shiny and new. I just had it repaired from my last accident, the one where I was rear-ended. AGAIN. For the 4th time in a year. I think it is jinxed. The car needs an exorcism and I am not really ready to drive yet after my knee surgery. And, I have to ask myself this, how many times can you replace a bumper? Evidently, that number is at least four. I am not willing to keep testing this theory for the car's sake and for my body's. I can't handle another whiplash/back injury. Point being, I have my car back.

Back in the Swing

After my major knee surgery, getting back in the swing of things has been difficult. Everyone at the office has been awesome, helping me out since I am on crutches. I HATE crutches!!!!! My mom has been here helping me at home and without her, I would not have been able to get through this. I have had some great friends to support me, bring over movies and keep me feeling like a real human.

Back at the office, things are normal- CRAZY!!!!!! I can't complain. I like my job and even when things are looney, the customers tend to not take it out me, so that is what makes the job worth doing and why I choose to stay. I have great clients and work for a good company.

I work with good people who care. What more can you ask for?

"I am always right"

Do you know someone who is never wrong? I used to be this person. Some would say I still am this person. Touche. I was not the easiest person to be around or have a discussion with. I understand this now that I am more mature. It is definitely a maturity issue, not an age issue. I still have friends now that are like this, and even a sibling who cannot get over being wrong, admitting being wrong or really listening to someone else's opinion on a situation. The problem with this type of person is not that they always are right or have to be right, it is that when they say they are listening to you, they are not. Their mind is completely closed to what you are saying because the only thing they can think about is their side of the issue. With these people, it is always about them. Don't be fooled. They don't care at all about what you have to say. The discussion they are having with you is only to humor you.

It is truly pathetic how uncompromising someone like this can be. The world is black and white. There is only right and wrong; the lines for them never blur. This is not about their strong values; however they will claim it to be or you can't sway them or change them. This is about pure pig-headed stubbornness. Take it from the queen of being not giving an inch when I don't want to. But, after years of losing and looking like an idiot, I realized nobody wins this way.

All good and healthy relationships are not without some discord and disagreement, but anyone who is in a great relationship of any kind (friendship or romantic in nature) knows that relationships are based on compromise. A person has to be malleable or life is going to be a long road of surface relationships . Rigidity is not a good standard for longevity in any relationship. After several recent personal experiences dealing with some very important people in my life who are not quite the extreme in the "I am always right" category but still don't quite understand the meaning of "bend", I have had to really reach deep in inside myself to decide how much I am willing to give to people who continuously refuse to bend at all. It is never healthy in any relationship to always be the one who is the person compromising or feeling like you are.

Here is where I landed. I thought for awhile and decided that no relationship was worth losing over anything so trivial as some of the issues I had faced recently, but that I was hard-pressed to turn the other cheek again. Then, I realized that God has really tasked all of us with being Christians (Christ-like) and that means forgiving even when it hurts me and I really feel I was wronged. It is most like an unconditional love, if you will. Some days it is so hard for me to do this. Most days it is hard for me to forgive someone who has treated me like those in the non-bending situations above. But experience has taught me that not forgiving only hurts me more and then no one wins.

I ask you this, do you understand the meaning of compromise, what it means to "bend", and what happens when you give a little instead of standing firm? Was it all really worth "being right"?

Percocet Girl

I waited as long as I could to have my second knee surgery because of the number of issues I experienced with my left knee, but after months of planning and multiple shots to decrease pain to prolong the time before I would have to go under the knife again, I finally had to give in. I had my right knee scope on August 25, 2006. This surgery was for mechanical purposes. I was born with knees that were not aligned properly. Unfortunately, there was internal damage under my knee cap and my ligaments were so stretched out that this was quite the interesting surgery. My orthopedic surgeon commented that my knee was one of the worst he has seen in several thousand surgeries. Today is the one week anniversary of my surgery. I am doing well. I am walking on crutches without a brace. I am managing my pain with a level 3 narcotic- percocet. Thank goodness for good drugs!!!! This was a painful surgery. I am glad I had the surgery and am on the road to having two knees that are aligned and that I will be able to use again in an active, normal lifestyle of someone in their 30's. Prior to these surgeries, my knees had deteriorated to the point of not allowing me any physical activity at all because of the amount of pain that created. SKI SEASON 2007 here I come. . .

World Trade Center

Anyone who reads my blog knows that I don't tend to post anything political. That is not my area, but I just saw the movie World Trade Center this afternoon and it prompted me to write a little something. I think America has forgotten that we are at war and we are at risk now more than ever. September 11, 2001 was not the first time we have been attacked, it was just the largest on American soil in a very long time. The World Trade Center was attacked in 1993. America has a short-term memory problem and a tendency to think we are invincible. Not only are we not invincible, we are vulnerable, arrogant and down stupid at times when it comes to our homeland security. We are a nation of politically uninformed bleeding heart peace lovers who think that we should stay out of war and stay home. Stay out of the war on terrorism? How? They came looking for us. They came to our country, on our soil and attacked innocent people. Not people with guns pointed at them in a combat zone, people sitting at their desks, starting a normal day at the office. You are asking us to not engage in the defense of our country, in defense of all the lives that were lost that day, of all the men and women who went back in try to save all those they could find? And I am just talking about one single event. How can we not fight this War on Terror? What would you have us do? Stay vulnerable to another day like September 11, 2001? Wait for men like these to plan more attacks, kill more people in our own country on American soil?

We are a country that does not tolerate Terrorism. We have now felt firsthand the consequences of what can happen if we do not engage and eradicating the world of these people. I pray every day for the safety of the men and women who protect our country in the armed forces and are fighting this War on Terror. We can't afford to not have them in Iraq and the surrounding areas promoting democracy and stabilizing their governments. America's homeland security depends on the efforts of our military in these areas. So many Americans don't grasp the gravity of what is happening in the middle east today and protest our involvement in this War. I would hope that before any American does this, he or she would remember that without these soldiers and their efforts, our safety would be in even more jeopardy than it is now. This War is a necessity; it is not an option.

Mi Vida Loca

Wow. I have not posted in what seems like forever. I am moved in to my new place now. If you can call it moved in. I am still living out of boxes for the most part because my life has been whirlwind since the u-haul left the drive 3 weeks ago. And things don't really seem to be slowing down much. By the time I am home in the evenings, the last thing I want to do is open a box and find a place for the items inside in my new space. I will say I am really enjoying living alone. I like having the extra space and the privacy. One of my long-time friends asked me if I was in my "happy-naked space." I laughed, and replied, "How did you know?" He said that is how he was when he lived alone. Running around naked all the time. LOL. What can I say? It is so convenient to be able to dart around half-dressed when you are in a hurry and not have to worry about who is in the house. Just love it. So, as far as creating a home. . .Well, I am working on it. I figure I will make the time or be forced to after my knee surgery next week and then I will have things more organized and my life won't quite be so crazy because I will be force to slow down. Besides, the cardboard will start to drive me crazy eventually and I will want it out of sight.

This may get me sent straight to hell on judgment day, but tonight I wanted to strangle some small children that live near my apartment! As I was updating posts etc, all I could hear out my window was SCREAMING from these children. Not playful laughing and having fun, but screaming. Apparently, the parents don't really care what noises are coming out their children because they are playing. I was furious. It is one thing for kids to run around and have fun; it is completely another for them to unload blood curdling screams that would make glass break repeatedly for 30 straight minutes past 9PM on a weeknight for no reason. Some people have no consideration for others. I almost walked out my door and went to the back yard so I could yell to wherever these people were that if they did not shut their kids up, I was calling the police and filing a noise complaint. I told my friend online that I probably should not have any kids of my own. He thinks I should have at least one.

Prince Charming is Riding on the Information Superhighway in a Lexus

To be in the 2000's means that you now are on the Internet, own a cell phone, Instant message, email, text message and quite possibly have tried Internet dating. It is not bad enough that we are almost completely digital in our communication now, but we have moved the fine art of human interaction and dumbed it down to online dating. You can now dehumanize yourself to only your first name and an online profile of personality traits that are matched for you by, what? That's right folks, a computer supposedly taking into account 29 different facets of you. Online dating is supposed to be better, at least on this one particular site because it matches a person from the inside out. Ok. Sure. Right. I have no problem with giving anything the old college try, but I have studied ecology and evolution and you can't get past human nature. Men will always be men and women will always be women no matter how compatible the computer says they are. There is a reason you have to provide a picture at some point in the matching and communication process. We are all visual creatures and chemistry plays a factor for both sexes and whether anyone wants to dispute this or not, men tend to be more visual than women.

So, here is my online dating complaint. You can spin this however you want to spin this, but someone has to tell the truth. There is no such thing as falling in love mechanically from the inside out. I hate to be the killer of romance here, but humans are just plain shallow creatures by nature. ALL OF US!!! This crap about communicating or not communicating for logical reasons is just plain nonsense. Real love is not logical. It is downright messy and passionate and full of surprises. It hits you out of nowhere one day like a speeding train with no brakes and you have no idea what just happened. The person who you never thought of as Ms. Wonderful or Mr Right is standing in front of you in a whole new light. Love is unpredictable and spontaneous. It is anything, but planned and guided and mechanical.

Online dating? Relationships started with no human contact? As a society, I think we have so masterfully found a way to remove emotion from the most emotional part of our lives and at the same time convince ourselves that this is better, more efficient and less threatening. How sad is it that we are moving more towards the digital and less towards the emotional and personal?

The Shower After

So after yesterday's fun float, I was fortunate enough that my friend let me grab a shower at his place before the BBQ. At that time, I was still sunburn free. Normally, my burns, if any will show up in the shower that night or the morning after I have spent any length of time in the sun. Since I showered right away yesterday afternoon, I thought I was in the clear. Well, of course, this morning was no exception. I woke up with a sunburn in the most unusual places and of course, my shower was most unpleasant. I have patches on the tops of my feet and stripes right on the front areas of my arms/shoulders right on the swimsuit line. It is not like I did not bathe in sunscreen. I sprayed it all over and reapplied while on the river. But, I must not have used enough or applied the waterproof one in those areas. Is this not the way this always works? Gotta love it.

8 second Ride

Before you think rodeo and get all excited, let me reassure you that it was not a bull that I was on. Yesterday, I elected to relax and float the river with some friends. Last summer I purchased brand new tubes from one of the tire dealers here in town and never got to use them, so this was their first time being blown up and baptized. After our individual treks to our meeting place, a pow-wow to get everything situated in two vehicles, a proper packing of the beverage receptacle and a Baldwin sighting, we finally headed out to the water. Dropping of my car at the end point normally would have been easy if our other vehicle was not overloaded with tubes and people, so we had to make a run with cars before we actually got started. By the time we had everything actually in the water, it was extremely HOT outside and I was ready to be on the river. It was a good thing, too because after about 15 minutes of roping all of our tubes together and the cooler so it would be within a good tug of rope from any one of us, we were ready to go. Sounds relatively easy, right? Sure. Except my tube decided it was a bucking bronco. I sat on it and quickly landed upside down, feet in the air, under the tube in the river. Thanks for the refreshing dip! I tried it again. No go. This tube would not have me or my ass in it for any period longer than about 5 seconds. Fortunately, I traded my friend for her larger tube and this one was a steady ride. My tube did not cooperate with her, either in the beginning. It just did not want to let anyone on stay on it. I guess she is a better rider than me and finally lasted more than the 8 seconds, tamed the beast and held on for the duration.
So, after the inner tube rodeo, we finally started our float down the Madison. We had a great time. It was quite enjoyable just to relax, trade insults with each other and just enjoy the scenery. Of course, the boys were manning the cooler. Now how would you know that at some point, this was going to lead to trouble? Maybe because there were adult beverages involved? Each man had his own 32 oz sippy cup with Wild Turkey? Not sure, but a deviation from attention to cooler detail did lead us to two men flipped upside down, broken glass, a cooler wide open and half of what was in it happily floating down the Madison. A litter bug I am not. Things happened so fast I could not tell you what led to the demise of the cooler and the men. We all ended up bumped, bruised, wounded and scraped after that incident.
I will say, regardless of a snafu or two, we all had a great day, laughed a lot and enjoyed the fun. Ended the day with a BBQ at a friend's place. Women shopped. Men cooked. Everyone spiraled down pretty fast after all the sun and fun.

Moving Part 60

I am ready to move now. This is process is becoming annoying. (As if it was not in the first place.) I am still packing. Today, a friend said to me, "How much shit do you have? You live in a freakin' apartment!" I laughed. I have been packing for days. But, I do have a lot of stuff and I am trying to be organized and get rid of things as I go. I also can't really take too many trips up and down my stairs at one time to move boxes out to my garage. That is why I am moving. The stairs and my knees don't really get along anymore. It will all be over in 2 weeks and I will get to unpack it all in the new place. GREAT! That is another fun process, but I am actually looking forward to settling into a place of my own. Now, what did I do with that tape gun. . .

Rumors

Do you remember playing the telephone game as a kid? Someone would tell someone a sentence or a phrase and then you would try to maintain the integrity of that sentence while it worked its way through everyone playing the game. Now, if rumors only worked that way. Fundamentally, a rumor is the exact opposite. The integrity of what is said is so distorted that by the time it reaches who it was said about, there is barely any truth to the story (as if there was any to begin with).

I am so amazed and all at the same time not even phased by this entire process I can't even begin to tell you. I was just scooped up, chewed on, and spit out of the rumor mill today and I work in a "professional" office. What is even more disheartening is the people who are involved in the process as it seems this usually goes, are not dealing with firsthand information, are listening to some who are, and listening to others with hearsay only and then perpetuating the rumor down the line to the ones who are supposedly involved in this "so-called incident" that started the actual juicy little tidbit that led to a select group of people's gum's a flappin'. WHEW!!!!! Did you feel that spiral?

And I have to ask this. Why are we so quick to believe the worst about people? (Rhetorical question) Is it because we are still acting like adolescents in high school? Not only that, but I am so glad that people have so much time to devote to things like these and not to what they are supposed to be doing like working! Rumors aside, as there is rarely truth to most of them or such a twisted version of it that you cannot get a clear picture of what is really going on, I will say this. If you are someone with so little respect for a person as to believe a rumor without getting your facts clarified, then you might want to consider how much respect someone is going to have for you if the tables are turned and you are in his or her shoes.

Moving

Well, at the end of the month I will be moving and as it turns out, the place will be mine from the beginning. I am excited about that part, but I HATE moving. I spent the majority of my holiday weekend packing. My mom was here the latter part to help. My parents, after all these years still believe in helping my brother and I take care of these kinds of things. He recently bought a house and they both drove down here to help with everything; mom help with the packing and dad lent his truck for the moving. Steve and I feel we are very fortunate to have parents that are so generous with their time. Even with Mom and Dad's help, moving me will be no small feat. I have accumulated a lot of stuff over the years and I just donated a bunch to charity. Downsizing is such a challenge for me as I am a self-admitted pack rat. Herein lies the argument for owning my own home, but not the price tag/debt that accompanies it.
We did pack a lot last weekend, but I still need to live here for 3 weeks, so we had to leave the essentials out and what did not get done, I am focusing on doing over the course of the next several weekends and in the evenings. I also hate to pack. I don't think anyone likes to move. You have to figure out where to put things, what you can live with while you are in transition, and what you can live without. Great! My life is in turmoil and now you want me to make decisions too. LOL. That is ok, though, because I am ready for the adventure. As mentioned previously, it is time for a change.

New Chapter

Well, it is time. I am moving to a new place. I am not a huge fan of moving because it involves packing and cleaning and I feel about those they way I feel about laundry, but it must be done to get to the next chapter. This will be good. For the moment, I will still have a roommate, but she is not staying long. She is moving on. In the next several months, the place will become my very own. I have not lived alone since I moved out of my parents' house. I have always had roommates. I am looking forward to having a space that is just mine. Should be an interesting time. . .